My Brendan. I love him so much. He is one of the most sensitive, caring, loving little boys I have ever met. He wears his sweet little heart on his sleeve just like his Daddy. He is so smart, loves to read and reads very well, loves all things school and has such a heart for the Lord. Just to give you a little insight into his heart let me share this: I used to sing "You Are My Sunshine" to my boys before they would go to bed. Often I would hear sniffles from the top bunk, when one day I said "Brendan are you crying?" "Yes", he sniffles, "I just don't like the part when she wakes up and the child is not in her arms, it was only a dream...that part breaks my heart!" Oh my Brendan. He makes me very proud. With this said, I must confess that he challenges me as a parent. Really, it is not him, but it is his appearance I think. So many people have told me that he looks so big for a 7 year old. Excuse me, but exactly what does a 7 year old look like? I really am not sure. You see, I have two of them and they are worlds apart in many ways.
Brendan is 4 feet tall and weighs 70 lbs....his twin brother is 3 feet something and weighs in at about 54 lbs. When Brendan and I have the mornings all to ourselves...we will snuggle up and read as much as we can until Shane has to wake up. Some of our best conversations are at 7:30am and he is so easy to talk with...so mature in many ways. Then I go and get so caught off guard when he does something so silly...so 7 year old like....and I don't know how to react. Well, I know how I should react, but I don't...no...I get upset with him for doing something so "immature". HE IS ONLY A 7 YEAR OLD BOY LISA!! Funny, that same behavior would be totally blown off if were his twin brother....hmmm?
Well, I am being transparent here...it is true...I struggle with letting him be a little boy sometimes. He doesn't play with cars really, he would rather read or play chess on the computer. He has to be forced to play outside sometimes, because he would rather build with his legos or complete a Highlights magazine. He is the first one to give up his things for his brothers, and never puts up a fight. He is just that kind of guy...the kind by the way that will make an amazing husband some day...much like the one I have.
So today, I bit his cute little head off for something, which in retrospect was really "NOTHING". I caught myself immediately, (because I pray about this difficulty of mine a lot and the Lord is really helping me) and pulled the car over to the side of the road. I turned around and said "Brendan, I am so sorry that I just snapped at you. You were just being 7 and I totally expected you to be 17. I am sorry, can you forgive me." This is what he said.
"Mom, I am sorry too, I don't want to whine like a baby!" "No Brendan, you are a child, I don't like whining, but I was out of line snapping like I did...I love you so much, can you forgive me son?" Then he said it...this is why I quoted Queen Rania at the top of my blog today..."Mom, I forgive you...I will always forgive you Mom...because you always forgive me!"
He taught me a huge lesson right there on the side of the road (which by the way is where I learn many lessons!). It is because of Christ that we forgive. Because of His sacrifice. I know how important my job as a parent is...my children know that the authority I have comes from the Lord...for He is my authority.
Thank you Lord for giving Brendan a sensitive spirit. I do confess Lord, it is at times that sensitivity that bothers me, but I know that it is a gift from You. Help me help him hone this gift so that he can effectively use what You have given him for Your continued glory! Amen.