Speak In Psalms

I've been studying the Holy Spirit lately. It's an incredible journey, learning to listen careful and following the leading of the Holy Spirit. One of the things we are asked to do is to speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. So on occasion in my quiet time I ask the Holy Spirit just to lead my pen on the page in my journal. I turn the page and quiet my spirit...and allow the Holy Spirit freedom to write.  I know it encouraged my heart and then I thought it says to do it to one another. So here it is...perhaps it is not only to encourage me...perhaps it is meant for another as well.

And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Ephesians 5:19-20

Here it is.

As I walk in the wonder of my spirit. I am drawn to you oh Lord. I am made aware of your very breath upon my face. Your presence Lord! Your sweet aroma.
Why Lord do I ever get up from this place? Why do I let my flesh creep up? Why do words of defeat escape my lips in moments of conflict?
I know the TRUTH and it has set me free. Praise you oh Lord for your grace and mercy. For being my teacher Holy Spirit, I am forever grateful. You are patient with me as I learn to remain in the Spirit, You pick me up when I stumble.
You have given me life. Your Word is my candle and light. Your Spirit is my counsel. You have given me the road map and have provided Emmanuel to show me the way. I never walk alone.
I will continue to abide in you as I know you also abide in me. I have all authority in Christ Jesus to conquer my flesh. For I am Spirit first with a soul in a body. Soul and body must be trained by the Word of God. Thank you for Your Word. May it forever be upon my lips. Amen and Amen.

Pulling Back The Curtains...Again

borrowed pic from the globaldoorproject.org

Every once in a while I pull back the curtains in my heart to reveal something totally vulnerable, I'm not sure yet if it is for whomever is reading this, or solely for me, either way it is therapeutic and sometimes an occasional reader gets blessed in the aftermath.  This is one of those times when I can't get my thoughts straight, so in order to accomplish any housework, grade papers or bake cookies, I must get this out.

The Lord is working on either refining me or defining me or both. About a year ago He moved me from point A where I was content, to point B where I have found in some ways allowed me to grow. He has a way of moving us...we never want to be stagnant...because then we might start to stink. When I was moved from A to B, at first I felt stripped. Stripped of all that I loved, all that I knew I worked well in, all that was familiar and freeing. But I knew it was for a noble cause. I knew it was not about me at all...it was more about those I love. When love is involved, sacrifice is much easier.

So a door was closed. So closed, that even when I snuck back in for a brief moment, I knew I was not going to be able to go back. I have to accept that when God closes a door, He must be opening up a new one - that's what they say right? The crazy thing is, I think he is teaching me that not all doors have knobs, handles, and windows and they can look and operate very differently.

I'm 45 years old, felt like I've lost something that I'm never gonna recover and I have shed many tears and have even lost sleep because of this transition. I've started to do an in depth study of Psalms 91. Did you know that God promises so much in those 16 verses? The beginning of the chapter gives us one thing to do..."Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." That's it - choose to dwell in His shelter and rest in His shadow! Well, I do that. I spend time every morning doing just that...and sure enough He is showing me His many promises.

So while I'm running from door to door, while I'm weeping over the fact that "feel" I don't have a "home", He is showing me that I've been narrow minded in thinking that doors have to even be connected to a wall let alone a building. Wow! Mind blown (as my eleven year old would say)! Now don't think for one minute that the enemy isn't just having a heyday with my mind. OH He's such a liar. Thoughts like, are you ready for this?..."You don't fit here. He's not gonna be using your gifts any longer, your time is up. You left your family, now you are alone. These people don't need you or really even want you. Don't lie to yourself Lisa...they were getting tired of you that's why you left...that's why it was time." It can get pretty ugly....those lying arrows can hit your heart and make a mess if you let them. NOW, I knew exactly what they were...lies. Did you know that these arrows are deliberately sent by the enemy and intentionally aimed at the spot they can cause most damage? Usually targeted in the area in which are mind is not renewed by the Word -- like an area where we are still losing our temper, or where we are still easily offended, or and area of rebellion or fear (which is most likely where my weak spot is located). Good news...Eph. 6 reminds us that we have a shield of faith that will extinguish all the flaming arrows. That shield is strengthened by believing His Word. He will deliver us!!

So I've been focused on saturating my mind on His Word.  My time with the Lord has been me asking Him to renew my mind to such an extent that I have more faith in His Word than in what I see or hear. You see faith is not a tool to manipulate God into giving you something you want, it is simply the means by which we accept what God has already made available. So...while I'm running here and there, feeling a little lost, this morning I found myself running right under the wings of my Father. "He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."

This morning, by surprise or maybe not, I opened my door to a field full of chickens, cows and horses. I thought of a babe chick and how it runs under its Mama's wings to find shelter. Mama doesn't run after all of her chicks...they come to her. You see the Lord is always there, we are the ones that run around fearful looking for shelter...He is just right there...open arms..ready to shelter us and renew us to do the next thing.

God has shown me, as I opened my car door this morning, that I have found my family, in fact I felt like the Lord said..."Hold on Lisa, My faithfulness knows no boundaries, there are no doors to be open, I've opened all the doors and you are home now."  I know I'm going to experience something amazing, something that the deepest part of my heart has longed for for a long time. Home, a home without walls or doors, a place open for new things, new people, new experiences. I'm at point B, I've not left there, and I'm happy to be there...but what I was searching for is not found in any "point" at all. God has shown me, that the gifts that He gave me, He has given me so He can use them, where He wants to use them, when He wants to use them. He hasn't stripped me of them. So...I will stay in His shelter and rest in His shadow..and enjoy my new wide open home.

I Can't See You!

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." Psalms 139:7-10

Have you ever felt like there are times in your life where you are super strong for God and then other times you feel like He has left you and you are running for your life? Crazy right? Those are the very feelings we see in David after he conquers Goliath. I recently heard a pastor tell the story again and so I went and reread the story of David and Goliath and I wanted to share what I learned from his sermon. So powerful!! You know, this young man, running towards this giant..all David has is a rock and a sling but he is running strong because God is with him and he knows it. He kills the giant, runs up and takes Goliath's sword and cuts off his head. Feeling pretty amazing at that moment. (Think about those moments in your life...those are powerful moments!)

Four chapters later, David feels like he is all alone, he finds himself going to the priest, so discouraged, running for his life, so alone, and just wants to see if the priest has anything for him.  Perhaps you've felt like this...even after a moment like the one above. We are a peculiar people. :)

The priest them shows him the very sword that years earlier young David had used in one of the greatest, most amazing battles in history.  "The priest replied, “The sword of Goliath the Philistine, whom you killed in the Valley of Elah, is here; it is wrapped in a cloth behind the ephod. If you want it, take it; there is no sword here but that one.” David said, “There is none like it; give it to me.” 1 Samuel 21:9

David first gets the sword when he conquers Goliath.  Four chapters later he feels like God has abandoned him, he's running for his life from Saul, he runs to the priest and what's waiting for him there? The same sword. 

God's promises are available whether you are running towards him or away from him because its not based on your performance. It is based upon a God who will ultimately fulfill all of His promises! (Remember David was anointed as a young boy by Samuel...he was anointed to be KING!)

The difference between those 2 stories of David was his awareness of God's presence. Because God's presence changes everything.

One of the greatest promises God gives us is His presence. If we are children of God, He IS always with us. That's the verse at the top...David in a moment of solitude, writes that verse because he realizes...that God is always with him...He's everywhere!

When things don't go as we imagine they should we think that God isn't fulfilling his promises for us. That's only because we can't see it. His presence is in us that means his promises are all available to us. Are you aware of God's presence in your life?

You may not see it, but you can always find it! Listen, God's promises are at times hard to see...but they are always available. The picture above is my boy Kyle when he was probably 4 years old. He wore that batman mask for a whole year. He thought that as long as he wore that mask nobody could see him. We would play hide-and-seek and he would hide in the open space and believe that he couldn't be seen. We would go along and say..."Where's Kyle?" "Hmmm? I can't see Kyle!" (meanwhile he is right in front of us!) and he would giggle so we would hear him and say..."OH I found you!!"

This is just how we are with God sometimes. God is right in front of us, we know his promises are there, but we can't see Him. We take the circumstances of life put it right in front of our eyes and block out the presence of God and his promises. We take the doctors report that we got and we put it right in front of our eyes and we ask God, why did you leave me, why is this going on, where are you, why is this happening to me? Or maybe we see our children are running crazy and not turning out they way you hoped and you say, where did I fail, why is this happening? What we don't realize is that God is right there...right there...something is obstructing our view because He's always been right in front of us...we might not always see it because these things in our lives can seem enormous, but we can always find it! 

I think that is how David may have felt in that story. When we find him going to the priest he probably felt like the Lord had abandoned him..."God's blessing everybody else, but not me". Then the priest shows him this sword...this sword that brought David's mind back to that battlefield and was able to remove the thing that was obstructing his view and he started to remember God's past faithfulness. It's like that "AHA!" moment.

He starts to relive that moment and remembers God's faithfulness, and maybe that opened up his mind to remember the times when he was tending sheep and killed a lion or bear with his hands because God always protected him or even before that, he may remember the oil being poured down his head and face as God anointed him to be king. Then He began to feel the presence of God...it never really left him, it was always in him, but he let the circumstances of his life overwhelm him and he forgot about God's past faithfulness and His promises!

If you want to start claiming God's promises for your future...start remember his past faithfulness in your life! Thinking on His faithfulness, brings us right back into the reality of His presence. Can you remember where God provided? Where God healed? Where God showed up and made something out of nothing. If you are alone today, can you remember a time when you felt God's presence comfort your weary soul. You begin finding God's promises when you remember what He has already done!


God has never failed to fulfill one promise in His word..he is not going to start with you. Faith is looking what He has done in the past, knowing that he will do it in the present and believing that he will always accomplish it in His future! The Word of God is filled with his promises!

God responds to us is much like the priest in the story above...If you want it take it! God's promises do not come with expiration date.  

2 Corinthians 1:20  ^"For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God."

What do you need today, because God's promises are available to you! Find it is His Word and write it down, put it on your refrigerator, write it on the bathroom mirror! Keep it in front of your eyes!

What is your response to God? Perhaps it will be like David in the scripture above: "Give it to me!" It requires an action. A present only becomes useful after it is opened. A sword only becomes a weapon after you pick it up and use it.  A promise can't be earned but it can be embraced. An unclaimed promise is a forfeited blessing. Listen God's word becomes active when we apply to our lives!

What promise are you believing God has for you today? Let me know!

Whatever You Did...

We had a wonderful day as a family traveling up to north Florida. It was very hot, and buggy (nothing a little insect repellent couldn't handle) but we were together and exploring some of Florida we've not seen before. We hiked nature trails, we discovered monuments to bloody battles of the 1500s and we conquered our 4th (out of 5) National Park in Florida today. It was a good day!

We are smart travelers. We pack some great snacks...pretzels, apples, bananas, watermelon...hard boiled eggs, so we know that if hunger strikes, we've got some good options (and we can stick to a very strict budget). Today as we came to a stop light in our car, we saw a man standing on the side of the road holding a sign that said..."Whatever you give will help!"

Shane has always had a heart for homeless people, for people in need. He seems to always understand the simple truth that God loves them and so should we. I LOVE that about him. He is thoughtful and mindful of others needs and wants to do something to help. We've done this before. My Little Man With A Big Heart shows this same boy 3 years ago wanting to do something for a homeless women we had met.

Today, he sees this man, sun burning his head, holding this sign and Shane says from the back seat. "We have to do something Dad!" "We have to give him something!" "We can't just ignore him like everyone else!" OH HOW I LOVE his precious heart. Mike explained that he probably wanted some money, and we didn't have any cash on us at all. Shane reminded his Dad that the sign says..."Whatever"! So, I reached into our snacks and pulled out all the pretzels we had left and I handed them to Shane. He rolls down the window and says..."Would you like some pretzels?" The man smiled, thanked us and took them. Then I handed Shane the bananas and he rolled the window down again, "Would you like a banana?" The man came over to the car and said, "Boy you really know what I love! Thank you so much!" He smiled, went into the shade and peeled that banana and suddenly the light was green. Shane sat back relieved and said, "Doesn't it just make you feel so good inside when you do that!"

He has been a witness to our family being blessed abundantly. He has had opportunities to help feed the homeless for years. He knows that Jesus loves everyone...no matter what! He knows to be a Christian means to be like Christ. I was so proud of my boy today! I told him right after the car started to pull through the green light...

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’...‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25

Son, today you loved on Jesus! Today you fed the Lord! Today you offered hope...you did it for Him! I love you Shane.

A Gap In My Armor

One of my pastors once told me that if I continue God's plan for my life, I will most likely always have a giant target on my back. The enemy sees the work that God is doing in and through you and it just makes him nervous. I understand all of this, I really do.

Yesterday I had one of those moments that the enemy just threw something right in my face and it knocked the wind out of me. It didn't devastate me. I can best explain this attack (without really explaining in detail) by asking you to think about a time when you got a bruise. Someone says to you..."WOW, where did you that bruise?" You don't remember, but if and when that bruise gets banged or poked..the pain comes right back and often times we remember the incident that caused the bruise. Mainly because you remember the pain of the incident.  This is what happened to me yesterday. It was as if the devil was poking at my bruise and it hurt my flesh! The ironic thing is, that this same exact incident has happened numerous times over the past 3-4 months but I didn't react quite this way. Why?

I think I know why. I called my husband promptly and told him what happened. He recognized it immediately and said these exact words, "Lisa, this is a total spiritual attack! You are a warrior for Christ and the enemy is at your heels every step of the way. He knows your weak spot and he is using it to distract you or discourage you from the call God has for you! NO weapon formed against you will prosper!" Those words put me straight back to "Hold every thought captive!" So I did! I recovered very quickly.

But why did I struggle this time and not the other numerous times...I think its because for a moment, I was exposed. There was a gap in my armor. Would you go out onto the battlefield without a helmet. Um..no! I'm not talking the full armor of God specifically, but I am talking about it generally. (meaning I had the helmet of salvation on yesterday) it was just that more of my flesh was showing than it should have and the enemy jumped right on that and threw a few lies my way.

My friend pointed out that I had just that morning written a blog about lies and The Danger of a Broken Lens (you can read that by clicking on the title). You see the Lord was already preparing me to fight this battle, and I didn't even know it! OH HOW I LOVE HIM! He's always got my back!

Listen, the lesson I learned was as much as we try to cover ourselves in prayer, with armor or whatever, sometimes we leave just a bit of flesh to be poked. If there is an old wound and the enemy knows about it, don't think he won't use that to try to get you to believe you were not healed!

I walk in complete healing from the original wound that created that bruise. It surprised me that I even had a bruise. So, hold every thought captive! Put on your armor! Stay close to your Commander-in-Chief. We fight FROM victory! No weapon formed against you will prosper! I recovered very quickly because of my sword! The word of God is our sword - read it, use it and be on guard! No leaving any gaps in your armor! See you at the victory celebration!

The Danger of a Broken Lens

Examine your lens today!

My in-depth study of Ephesians has brought me to my knees several times. The lies we believe about ourselves and about God can and will put us in bondage. I'm passionate about reminding people of their identity in Christ. We all need to be reminded (that was in essence what Paul was doing when he wrote Ephesians) that we are a new creation.

What we believe about God is crucial because it affects what we believe about everything else. A distorted or damaged view of God will distort the way we see just about everything and everyone around us.

It makes sense. I believe that often times we fail to realize that what is causing the irritation and turmoil with our souls is not necessarily the people or the circumstances we think are annoying us; rather, the problem just might be that we are seing things trhough a damaged lens.

One of those areas that is particular impacted by our view of God ironically is our view of ourselves. If we don't see God as He really is - if we believe things about Him that are not true - invariably, we will have a distored view of ourselves. Which is why Ephesians is chock-full of reminders of who God is.

Is the storm in your life overwhelming you right now? Do you feel worthless? Reexamine your view of God. If we have constructed in our minds a god who is weak and impotent and not in control of every detail of the universe, we might just be seeing ourselves as being helpless and most likely will be overwhelmed by the storms and circumstances that surround us.

HE is:
He is holy, He is good, He is faithful, He is eternal, He is forgiving, He is full of grace and mercy, He is righteous, He is sovereign, He is love...this is truth!

Our view of God can be distorted if we are not pursuing a personal relationship with Him, not reading His Word to get to know Him, and believing lies about Him because we are only looking at circumstances and irritations around us, all these can cause us to see Him through a broken lens.

If we have believed lies about God, we will most likely believe lies about ourselves.

I have some very special people in my life who truly struggle with seeing themselves as God sees them. (This is one of the reasons I am determined to pour into my own children reminders of who they are in Christ - if we tell them over and over again when they are young, they hopefully will remember it when they are older).

I think that some of these special people in my life determine their sense of worth by the input and opinions of others. Sometimes input can be helpful and accurate, but not always. If, for some reason, the person we are listening to is looking through a defective lens, his or her vision will be distorted. Some of us have lived all our lives in an emotional prison beause we have accepted what a broken mirror said to us about ourselves.

Please remember how powerful your words are. One simple sentence heard as a child can haunt a person for years. Likewise, one simple word of encouargement can empower a person for life as well.

I use to teach a class on interviewing skills and making yourself marketable. I had this one particular student in both my keyboarding class and this interviewing class. In keyboarding, I would tell her often what a great speller she was because her timed writings were fast and accurate. So, one day while I was video taping her mock interview, when asked what her strengths were, she said with confidence, "Well, I'm a great speller!"  You see, ask my boys to describe themselves. I know exactly what they will say...because we have been very intentional in speaking life into them over and over again!

Check the lens you've been looking through!

Don't let others determine your worth! 1 Peter shows us how Jesus' sense of worth was determined, not by what others thought of Him, but by the Truth as expressed by His heavenly Father; "He was rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to Him." We too are chosen by God and precious to Him!!

I remember having value explained to me by asking if it is possible that someone who did not recognize or appreciate fine art would toss a masterpieces into the trash. Would that make the art any less valuable? NO. The true worth of the art would be seen when an art collector spotted it and said, "That is a priceless piece, and I'm willing to pay any amount to acquire it."

When God sent His only Son, Jesus, to earth to bear our sin on the cross, He put a price tag on us - He declared the value of our soul to be greater than the value of the whole world.

Take the mirror that God has given you...and look again.  You see, His lens is NEVER BROKEN!

Nothing!

I absolutely LOVE the Word of God. Romans 8:38-39 is a powerful scripture that reminds us that there is NOTHING that can separate us from the LOVE of God. Too many people feel like they've done way too much for God to ever give them a second chance, or that they've used up all of their "2nd chances"! I think the Message Bible puts this scripture in just the right way...for everyone to understand what it is saying. So, I've simply copied this scripture from the Message for you and I to read:

So, what do you think? 

With God on our side like this, how can we lose?

If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? 

And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? 

Who would dare even to point a finger? 

The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. 

Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! 

Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: 

They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one. None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. 

I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

Powerful right? You shouldn't have any doubts about whatever situation you are in...He's not letting go of you...at all! Nothing is going to get in His way of LOVING you and me!

OH how He loves us & NOTHING is going to hold Him back!

Breathing Jesus Words

 

After the post about My Second Chance I thought that could most definitely be added to my 1000 gifts. The fact is I think I lost track of my number. I've been working on the list for years, that is the point isn't it? Finding treasures every single day that you are thankful for! My Second Chance is about how God gave me a second chance at life, He literally gave me the very breath I breathe and I will be forever grateful that I didn't have to leave my family in sorrow. We will all go home at some point to be with Jesus, and in fact I long for the day. However, as my 10 year old stated..."I know it would be great for you to be with Jesus in Heaven Mom, but I would be miserable without you!" So...thank you Lord for orchestrating every single detail of Friday's events! 

Now for today. A friend of mine gave me these cards to read and discuss every day of the Thanksgiving season. We've enjoyed it as a family. I love that I homeschool and can spend extra time on the couch first thing in the morning just listening to my boys.

Let me set the stage for you, so you can feel like I did this morning watching and listening to my boys as we discussed the scripture and questions. Today was day 4 (November 4th). The scripture was from Psalm 118:28 "You are my God and I will give You thanks; You are my God and I will exalt You!" The question to discuss was simply "What does it mean to exalt God? What would that look like in your life?" 

If you were peeking through my window this morning you would have found 3 boys, covered in their blankets (because I had the windows WIDE open so the rare Florida cool breeze could blow in!). One boy nestled on the couch with the dog and I, another on the rocking chair and yet another in a ball on the floor. So we read the verse and we talk about the questions. 

What does it mean to exalt God? What does exalt mean anyway? Here is what you would have heard...and I'm trying hard to quote the best I can, I wrote some responses down as they spoke, but I got carried away just listening toward the end.

"Exalt means praise, like (in a singing voice) WE EXALT YOU LORD!" 

"Yea, like hallelujahs!"

"It means to lift Him up, to praise Him." 

GREAT JOB BOYS!

What would that look like in YOUR life?

"Singing praises....(as he demonstrates)", 

"Maybe reading His Word out loud?" 

"Memorizing His Word!" 

"Sharing our story about how He loves us and others".....and you can see it got better and better....

"Obeying Him!", 

"Just being who He created me to be!",

 "Sharing this story Mom....(as shared by my 10 year old)

"The story starts as 4 kids were in the back of the car, like any day after co-op. Mom was driving us to get a treat at the local store. We go to the park, like every other Friday. Mom sitting with her friends, chatting about whatever Moms chat about. Kids playing, running, laughing like always. Then suddenly the world is not like it was always. Mom got stung by a bee. She had never been stung before. I watched her fall to the ground trying to breath. All her friends trying to help her. Someone called 911. Mom's head was drooping and laying on her friend. I thought she was dying. The ambulance came, they put a mask on her, they put her in the ambulance, I hugged her, she gave me the thumbs up. I was scared. There were people crying, even other Moms. I saw the tears. Their words didn't match their tears. Then there were kids. Kids everywhere breathing Jesus words for my Mom. Jesus words...they are very powerful...they heal! Jesus words, prayers of children went all the way to Heaven and then Heaven reached my Mom. She was healed, she could breathe, she didn't leave me!" "That's a story that would exalt God don't you think?!" -- by Shane Engel

I consulted with my boy before I finished this blog...I wanted to get as close to exact as I could. I think we've got this whole EXALT thing. I'm pretty sure they see God every day! I'm pretty sure we won't be taking each other, our words or our actions for granted...at least for awhile.

As we prayed, it was different this time. Bold, they were so bold. Thankful, they were so thankful for so many things, even little things. Then it turned, I didn't think it was going to turn....prayers for a friend, for a boy who needs the love of Jesus to invade his life, prayers for healing for friends and loved ones, prayers for salvation for those who don't know this God who deserves all praise and honor. As my most mature boy closes in prayer....his voice quivered..."I don't deserve this amazing family, but I thank you God, thank you for all the love that I receive from my Mom and Dad, all because they received love from you first!"

I think they grew up a little this past weekend. I'm pretty sure their faith has matured. I'm so so thankful for every circumstance, every trial, every detail of a life that is submitted to the sovereignty of a mighty mighty God!

Oh so grateful Lord God, for the 1000 gifts....

We will exalt you with our obedience. We will exalt you with our praises. We will exalt you with our breath. We will exalt you with our lives. We will exalt you with our story...your story in us! We will breathe Jesus words....and that will exalt you!

Wake Them Up With The Word

I read a great article that a friend posted for me on facebook. It took me back to the reasons why we homeschool. The name of the blog post is Homeschooling Held Hostage. If you get a chance-read it.

Being a former teacher, the first year of homeschooling, I put my one son through university. He however, was a self motivated, lover of learning. It worked well. Then came my next child to bring home. My very active, very athletic, very kinesthectic learner. He rocked my world. LOVED having my baby home from preschool - he started homeschooling in kindergarten...but there were days when I thought...I really really liked preschool, why can't he go back?

Then I finally brought my third (who incidentally is my oldest...by 2 minutes) home from public school. He came home with all kinds of learning disabilities, on the autism spectrum, but probably the one that most needed to be home all along. Finally we got to see the best of him, not the worst. Best decision I have ever made for this child...however, there are days when I wonder what in the world did I do...I am failing him.

He doesn't learn like everyone else. He doesn't learn like me. He doesn't learn how I like to teach. He stretches me. He makes me dig deep in my heart to find the thing that will help make history click in his brain. I don't always have it. (Please note that I didn't say, he makes me dig deep into my great college education because I was a teacher....NO...I must dig in my heart...a Mother's heart...that is where we find what we need to school our children - not my BA degree in Education).  We talked about it tonight. He learns better by reading...but doesn't enjoy reading. GREAT! He doesn't remember half of what is spoken (short term memory issues coupled with very non auditory learning style).

Oh how I could labor on all of these points. This morning after my quiet time, my time when I talk/listen and spend time with my Maker. He reminded me why I do this homeschooling thing.

I looked at the notebook filled with pages entitled..."The Psalms of Shane". I hear the prayers of my boy who can't remember one thing about history, but seems to recall everyone's need so he can earnestly pray for them. Then there is the child who remembers everything, who loves to read, who is sensitive to the Holy Spirit and wants to grow deeper in his relationship with Christ. My middle schooler whose heart is precious and not hurt by the social drama and pressure of our society. That is why I homeschool.

This morning, I went into their bedroom. They were sleeping ever so sweetly. I love their faces, love looking closely, just like I did when they were in their cribs. I said good morning to them. I know they were up talking last night, probably after I fell asleep. The rule is, I'll stop "good morning" them to death as soon as they say it back to me. "Good morning Mom!" "Good morning." "Good morning!" Blankets still covering their faces because I had to open the blinds. I sat on one of their beds, with Bible in hand and decided that I would wake them up with the Word. Started reading John this morning. By the time I got to chapter 4 there were thoughts and questions and comments all around and they were excited about the Word...before they even thought about Life cereal.

"The Jews then responded to him, “What sign can you show us to prove your authority to do all this?” Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.” They replied, “It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and you are going to raise it in three days?” But the temple he had spoken of was his body. After he was raised from the dead, his disciples recalled what he had said. Then they believed the scripture and the words that Jesus had spoken." John 2:18-22 

I've read that to them before, but they were in awe this morning. Such joy! Tonight before going to bed, my one boy comes in and says to me..."Will you wake us up with the Word again tomorrow?" Yes...that is why we homeschool.

Miracles Are Possible

Mike Engel, receiving his pin for nursing!

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5

I don't believe I've told this story from the beginning. Today is a very special day. It is the fulfillment of part of a journey that was destined by God...because His Word is true...apart from Him, we can do nothing.

Outside the New Journal Center before graduation

My husband has a BA in History Education....but did not like teaching...at all! As a former public educator myself, I'm proud of my husband for leaving education...we don't really need more teachers in the system who don't like their job. So he started working with coffee...with the hopes of maybe owning his own Coffee House. Mike had worked for Starbucks in management...(yes that is where the addiction for good coffee started) for 10 years. In fact when we moved to Florida the company transferred him to a store in Ormond Beach. It wasn't long until the top paid management figured out that Mike was still making his NJ salary but living in FL ...and he was capped out and experienced a cut in pay. He would never make enough money to raise a family of 5 on Starbucks salary. So when one of his customers handed him a business card and told him that he would be a great addition to his company...Mike took the chance to do something different. He became a sales representative for medical equipment and surgical supplies.

The weather was incredible...like a tropical storm just during the graduation!

He actually loved learning about what he was selling and thoroughly enjoyed being in the Operating Room and talking to the surgeons. This invigorated him...far more than closing a deal. Sales, just was not his thing. His company had a freeze and he was let go. So thankful for this opportunity. After that, it was one job after another. Each one however, taking something and learning from each situation. All the while, Pop's dementia was increasing and he was requiring so much more care. I did what I could while schooling my children, but it finally had gotten the best of me and Pop would only respond to Mike. It was then his family decided that they would compensate Mike to be Pop's sole caregiver so that we could still make a living (albeit meager). Mike did this tirelessly for over a year.

The only man that participated in graduation. The last to light his candle, the last to receive his pin...he said he was the  exclamation point! Here they are reading the Florence Nightingale Pledge.

Then something happened. I won't go into the details, but suffice to say that in the midst of this terrible circumstance that the Enemy was trying to throw in my husband's face....God made something beautiful.

We were at a point where we thought we might lose our home. Pop was placed in a nursing home (best thing for him) but unless my husband could find full time work, there was a possibility we might not have a place to live.  I calculated that we needed at the very least just for living expenses...$32,000. So I began to PRAY BIG! Only God could do this...with man this would be impossible...with God all things are possible. I had no idea what the next day would bring.

We couldn't be more proud of him at this moment! He has worked hard and given God all the Glory!

It brought a letter from Daytona State College saying that Mike was accepted into the LPN program. He had taken the prerequisites for the RN program and had applied, but because they transferred over all of his grades from 18 years ago when he was in college...they transferred over some lower ones that didn't calculate to a high enough GPA (ironically enough that class he received a low grade in wasn't even a class he needed...it was all a numbers game). Even though he had straight "A" as DSC, his GPA was shy by a few points. We had no idea he would even be accepted into the LPN. The timing couldn't have been..."worse". There was no way, he could go to school now...in order for us to survive...he needed to work. I was determined to see what God would do. So we prayed.

This journey would have been far more challenging without the love and support of so many friends. These are two special friends that joined us for Mike's graduation. I know Mike would have wanted his Mom to be there, I was so touched that these two braved the storm and cheered him on...it made it so special!

I received a phone call the day after this letter came into the mail from a friend who lived in a different state. She said she was saving up some money to send for my boys and I for a summer vacation..but felt like the Lord was prompting her to send the money for Mike to go to school. It was $750 dollars. I remember her saying that it wasn't much and we both prayed that if this was God's will, that Mike go to school, then he would multiply it. Only she, myself and God were privy to our prayers that day. I told her that I wouldn't say a word to Mike that we would just pray. She sent the check.

We celebrated with a Thai dinner at my favorite Thai restaurant in Daytona! YUM!  Do you see Dave's plate?  Wait keep reading...

The very next day I received another phone call, from a couple who had inherited an investment. They called to say that they had an opportunity to have a check cut, to roll it over or reinvest it...they decided that the Lord put it on their hearts to reinvest it...they knew a guy who would make a great nurse someday...they were investing in the work of the Lord that someday, I believe, my husband will be a part of. That $750 multiplied and grew to $20,750. When my husband came home that day after I had received that phone call, I sat him down along with my children and told him what had happened. We all held hands, we were so humbled, we were witnessing God's miraculous and mighty hand...and have continued to witness his miracles. Five loaves and two fish...pretty much sums up how we've lived. We continued to be faithful to the Lord giving back to Him and giving to others sacrificially. You see, you can never out give God!

"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen. Philippians 4:19

Only by the pure Grace of God is my husband walking up to receive his pin today. Someone told us recently that Mike did it..against all odds. We tell you today...with Christ the odds are always in our favor. My children have been so fortunate to watch their Dad study hard and give 100% to everything, the Lord, family, work, school...and it has paid off. "Everything you do..do as unto the Lord"

Mike Engel...I am proud of you! We look forward to what God has in store for all of us. Make no mistake...He has got a plan..and its a good one.

Remember when you think that there is no way...if it is His will...He will make a way..."With God all things are possible!"

Pineapple Fried Rice with Shrimp! Beautiful & Delicious!