The Priceless Treasure

Summer of 2013 After being gone from him for a month on vacation,
this was a much needed reunion!

This week is flooded with memories! I'm not sure I'll be able to post on the exact days...so here is a conglomerate.

This will be one crazy busy weekend as Friday night I will be at my final set up for Bagels & Blessings and the Saturday my final B&B teaching (unless of course I'm invited to share again), right after that is my son's play at church and then Sunday is my 23rd Wedding Anniversary. Whew!

December 12th marks the 16th anniversary of the loss of our first son. You can read more about that in There is a Time For Everything. So I sometimes get a bit emotional at the memory of that, not that I'm still sad, but I just remember the time and how it really affected the rest of the month of December that particular year. I know I will meet with every single one of my babies again someday when we see Jesus face to face - and that actually brings me joy.

Then there is the closing of this chapter in my life. My final Bagels & Blessings at EAC. I will be stepping down as Women's Ministry Director after 5 years of serving, and actually announcing that my family and I have been worshiping someplace new. I've been very quiet about it. I guess I was thinking no one would actually notice that we've not been there on Sunday mornings. :) I have received several phone calls in the past 3 months...especially from the people that sat nearby. At any rate, this is a wonderful thing. While my heart is still not sure how to leave Bagels & Blessings, because in some ways I feel like it is my baby. I know it has grown up and it is fully functional and totally does not need me, but still, I liken it to when your child goes off to college. You've done well, you gave birth then you've watched your baby go through some growing pains, you've see it blossom and become its own thing...and then boom..its ready to stand on its own and doesn't need Mama anymore. :) I know it sounds silly. I have some friends who actually understand my silly heart - and I'm thankful. I've come to be very excited about what God is going to do...B&B is His...and so I know He's got the perfect plan for it! As for me and my family...well, we're His too and I know He has some amazing plans for us as well.

Still, I'm going to miss doing this - and I'm going to miss the women especially! I just have such an incredible love for the women who come to B&B. I know that is from the Lord...because even when women are new...I just love them so! EAC will always be a part of my family...we've been there 10 years and have walked through some very difficult storms personally and corporately, but we have rejoiced over many miraculous times as well. You know we bond through those times right?! So thankful for my relationships and friendships that will last for eternity! Such incredible gifts.

I'll be sharing on JOY! I think it is the perfect way to close this chapter!! I'm so very very excited and I think the Lord has big plans for Saturday!

Then there is Sunday. My 23rd wedding anniversary.

Last year I wrote a blog that talked about my wedding day it was called Holding His Hand. The year before that it was "I Still Do!" I've been blogging since 2007 how many ways can I express my joy of being married to my best friend?

Well every year it is just a little different. You reflect on the past year and so much happens. As we approach our 23rd anniversary we are both aware that we've been married for over half of my life.

The making of a great marriage is hard work. As we grow older together, there is a level of comfort, but this year I'm finding a new spark in the thought that we do this thing called life really well together. It isn't like everybody else..its the way the Engels do it and I really really LOVE it!

After 23 years, I still get butterflies when he holds my hand - it brings me right back to my college days. I love just sitting next to him. There is so much more behind a kiss after 23 years...it is deeper, more meaningful. I couldn't be more proud of someone in my whole life! I mean I'm super proud of my children, but I have to admit, I supremely proud of my husband. He is such a sweet and loving soul. Even when he is going through difficult times in his life I want nothing more than to be his cheerleader! I'm not shy at all when it comes to bragging about him! I love the fact that we are most definitely best friends. There are NEVER any eggs shells, NEVER any worries, NEVER any doubts....ALWAYS REAL!

Unlike some couples, we had a good 10 years before we were able to conceive children. I think that has made our lives, in some ways, a bit easier. Well, I said in some ways. I think parenting when we were in our 20s would have been a bit easier (more energy) but ... oh well, so we're old parents! That is why I color my hair!

Is my marriage perfect! I laugh....NO! I love him...the best I can here on earth and I know he loves me the best he can - but if you're looking for perfection...then that would be Jesus! We both know that...so I think that helps too!

Mike Engel - here's to eternity! May we continue to weather the storms together, walk on water together, share in victories together! May we continue to honor each other, look out for each other, love each other the best way we know how. May we never give up on learning new ways to show our love! May we raise our children to be mighty men of God! May we continue to make sure we have time together in the business of running a household of preteen boys. May we always remember to laugh! May we continue to lay each other at the throne of Grace...daily! May we cheer the loudest for one another! May we never stop praying WITH each other! May we never ever forget the priceless treasure God has given us in each other! May we hold each other's hand in the journeys ahead. I wouldn't want to do ANY of this life without you Mike Engel! I'm so eternally grateful that God loved me so much...he would have you choose me! Wow! May we continue to look at our stones and enjoy making new memories in the years to come!

Presence, Purpose and Power...

My two boys on a hike with Dad on Chimney Rock while Kyle and I stayed behind learning to find JOY.

...These three things I desire most in my life. While I'm studying "Joy" for my final teaching as Women's Ministry Director at Edgewater Alliance Church I'm really experiencing a myriad of emotions. So excited about the path that the Lord has placed before my family, seeing the incredible changes in my men and knowing that the decisions that we've made are most definitely the will of God, I am still going through some kind of adjustment. Watching Bagels & Blessings grow from a conception/dream to a fully grown and flourishing ministry over the past 5 years is most humbling and most amazing. I know it is time for me to move on, but the tears keep flowing. He knows what He is doing.

So the way I've been dealing with this adjustment is to bury myself in the study of JOY. It just so happens that like every other theme for the year that God has placed on my heart for the past 5 years, and every single teaching that I have labored through...I'm personally able to learn, first hand what I'm about to speak on. This is very exciting! The most exciting part, is that my family must endure the lessons I'm learning for themselves as well. It has been life changing for everyone in my house.

I'm not sure if it is because getting pregnant was so difficult for me, or that I lost 14 babies along the way that when I finally had children I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were only on loan to me, and it was my (and my husband of course) job to take what we've learned from the Word and "teach them diligently to my children" like it says in Deuteronomy and I'm pretty serious about it!

So I now share our most recent lesson on JOY.

I know it is important to for me touch upon the supernatural result of joy, regardless of our circumstances.

Last week my family and I went on vacation together - including Mr. Incredible (this would be his first real vacation in years and years)! I was very careful not to allow my boys to go near anyone showing signs of a sniffle, let alone any horrible virus. We had the hand sanitizer out and we were playing it safe. The Sunday before we leave, my Kyle gets very VERY sick. His temperature spikes to 102.3, he feels lousy! We took him to the Emergency Room they hooked us up with tons of medication...for just in case...but they were quite sure this was a virus and medicine wouldn't help at all. I BEGAN TO PRAY! First response...always prayer! Invite the presence of the HEALER! By Monday it got worse, he began to vomit. The plan was to leave Tuesday, we had reservations..you know how it is. I thought ok, this could just be a 24 hour thing, "cheer up family -- all hope is not lost!!" - I was purposeful in my attitude. We were going to praise God through all of this! Tuesday morning he wakes up with spots all over his body and he threw up again in the early morning hours. We take him back to the doctor because of the spots. They confirmed, it is a nasty virus, highly contagious and it's running rampant. He says we'll most likely all come down with it. Poor Kyle, feeling so miserable, and then adding to that the thoughts in his head about ruining everyone's vacation. We decided that he could only get better. We were going to take the chance and drive to North Carolina. We left hours later than we had expected, but we were on our way. We CONTINUED to PRAY!

I felt the very PRESENCE of the JOY GIVER in that van. We gave Kyle a bucket, we thanked the Lord for being SO GOOD to us! We were not going to let this virus get the best of us! I kid you not, PRAYER and PRAISE were going viral in that van. My boys were believing God for a miracle...and so was I.

Right about South Carolina I began to feel sick. My temperature was rising 101.4, and my stomach felt horrible. My poor husband! Should we cancel this trip! I decided that we should keep going. I literally, and purposefully, worshiped...OUT LOUD...from South Carolina to North Carolina...and as long as worshiped I felt fine...the minute I stopped...I began to feel sick again. We had a blast in the car. My husband and I taught the boys some old songs from our college days -- oh we laughed and sang and had the best time in the car!! I went to bed in my hotel room, humming "Thanks be to God who gives us the victory!"

The next morning...I was healed! Kyle on the other hand, had developed sores in his mouth. My poor baby! He laid there on a cot in our hotel room, and said...."Why hasn't God healed me?"

Don't we all wonder where God is when life is not looking or feeling good at all, when our circumstances flat out stink? YES, we've all been there before. I knew it was my responsibility to see Kyle through this and give him the tool to find the joy in the midst of all of this.

My husband and other boys went hiking on Chimney Rock and Kyle and I stayed back at the hotel. I was able to get some fluids in him and he and I just rested. We had time to talk about how good God has been in our lives. We pulled out those "stones" and remembered how faithful God has been.

You see joy flows from the discovery of our Lord and Savior in every circumstance where we wish to find Him. If we seek Him, we will find Him!

While I worked on my teaching for December, Kyle began to dose off. I could hear him whispering..."God has been good to us!" YES!!! That's my boy!

The next day, Kyle was able to eat, drink and laugh! He was feeling 95% better! PRAISE GOD! We had an amazing vacation...finding JOY in JESUS everywhere!

You see my family understands now how Paul could say, "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice!" Phil. 4:4 We were already in God's presence and then, just like Paul and Silas we praised God through it all! Then just like Paul and Silas we saw the amazing Power of God come through! Hello JOY!!

My prayer is that this encourages you. Look at what you are going through right now as an opportunity to refine the skill of finding joy in the midst of your circumstance. Make it yet another chance to learn and experience the presence, purpose and the power of  God. You see, I'm pretty certain that JOY is best discovered through challenges/difficulties! So don't be discouraged, get in His presence, be purposeful and watch the power of God break through - HE loves it when His children bathe in an abundance of JOY.