Selah

I have read  that "Selah" means "stop and listen". I love to do that, right here.

I wanted to steal a page from my son's journal..."The Psalms of Shane", but I looked everywhere for it and couldn't find it at all. It doesn't help that we have an excess of composition notebooks in this house. At any rate, I thought about his little book of praise today. He started writing in that book the day after he had a very very difficult day. He woke up and had already repented before God so now it was time to come to me and that sometimes is more difficult. "I already asked God to forgive me and help me be a better listener. Do you forgive me?" These are some of my most favorite moments of being a parent. The moments when we can TOTALLY show the amazing LOVE of Jesus. "Yes, of course, I forgive you, I had already forgiven you and I love you like crazy! My love for you will never end Shane, no matter what!"

His book of Psalms came out of his life wrenching moments. Just like many of the Psalms David wrote. Indeed my sweet son, you are a man after God's own heart.

Today, as I sat discouraged about some of the "extra" things that I do. The work and time that I put in to some things seem at times not really to matter to others. You plan and prepare and its on your mind continuously, but when the rubber hits the road, sometimes its really only on your mind, it doesn't matter "that much" to others...and it can get discouraging. I could feel it...."The Psalms of Lisa" were about to be birthed.

I had to walk away from my list of things to do. Just for a moment. I closed my door, went to my spot, and asked the Lord if I'm really supposed to be doing this, because I just want to cry. I don't want to care about this any more, maybe its time for me to lay it down, walk away, let someone else handle it...or NOT.

He reminded me, as He is so faithful to do:"You do these things for me. Out of obedience, you not only do these things, but you do them with excellence, because I love you!" I love you too Lord! "You do these things for My Glory, for My children, it may seem like 'just an event', but it is My desire to minister to these people. It is on My mind and I'm the only One that matters. 'Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters...' "

Oh how things work so I can learn a lesson. So I spent the rest of my time reciting "The Psalms of Lisa". I just spent a few minutes being thankful...because really...His love endures forever...and I have much to be thankful for. (Modeled after Psalm 107, which ironically enough I read this morning during my quiet time!)

Give thanks to the Lord for His very timely, yet very gentle reminders.
His love endures forever.
Give thanks to the Lord for my children are really my educators.
His love endures forever.
Give thanks to the Lord for His Word that gives me everything I need to live.
His love endures forever.

to Him who is always on His throne and is never surprised by anything or anyone,
His love endures forever.
to Him who is purposeful in all things, who placed the moon and stars precisely where they are,
His love endures forever.
to Him who provides for our every need,
His love endures forever.
to Him who rescued this woman when she was just a girl,
His love endures forever.
to Him who longs for all of his girls to have an encounter with Him like no other,
His love endures forever.

He remembers me, knows me, knows how to speak my love language,
His love endures forever.
He gives me strength to do the things He has called me to do,
His love endures forever.

Thank you Lord for meeting me where I am, for speaking truth to my heart, for gentle chastisement and reminding me I do what I do because you first loved me...and I love you too (and I'm glad I stopped and listened). I do it as unto you Lord! --Selah

Wake Them Up With The Word

I read a great article that a friend posted for me on facebook. It took me back to the reasons why we homeschool. The name of the blog post is Homeschooling Held Hostage. If you get a chance-read it.

Being a former teacher, the first year of homeschooling, I put my one son through university. He however, was a self motivated, lover of learning. It worked well. Then came my next child to bring home. My very active, very athletic, very kinesthectic learner. He rocked my world. LOVED having my baby home from preschool - he started homeschooling in kindergarten...but there were days when I thought...I really really liked preschool, why can't he go back?

Then I finally brought my third (who incidentally is my oldest...by 2 minutes) home from public school. He came home with all kinds of learning disabilities, on the autism spectrum, but probably the one that most needed to be home all along. Finally we got to see the best of him, not the worst. Best decision I have ever made for this child...however, there are days when I wonder what in the world did I do...I am failing him.

He doesn't learn like everyone else. He doesn't learn like me. He doesn't learn how I like to teach. He stretches me. He makes me dig deep in my heart to find the thing that will help make history click in his brain. I don't always have it. (Please note that I didn't say, he makes me dig deep into my great college education because I was a teacher....NO...I must dig in my heart...a Mother's heart...that is where we find what we need to school our children - not my BA degree in Education).  We talked about it tonight. He learns better by reading...but doesn't enjoy reading. GREAT! He doesn't remember half of what is spoken (short term memory issues coupled with very non auditory learning style).

Oh how I could labor on all of these points. This morning after my quiet time, my time when I talk/listen and spend time with my Maker. He reminded me why I do this homeschooling thing.

I looked at the notebook filled with pages entitled..."The Psalms of Shane". I hear the prayers of my boy who can't remember one thing about history, but seems to recall everyone's need so he can earnestly pray for them. Then there is the child who remembers everything, who loves to read, who is sensitive to the Holy Spirit and wants to grow deeper in his relationship with Christ. My middle schooler whose heart is precious and not hurt by the social drama and pressure of our society. That is why I homeschool.

This morning, I went into their bedroom. They were sleeping ever so sweetly. I love their faces, love looking closely, just like I did when they were in their cribs. I said good morning to them. I know they were up talking last night, probably after I fell asleep. The rule is, I'll stop "good morning" them to death as soon as they say it back to me. "Good morning Mom!" "Good morning." "Good morning!" Blankets still covering their faces because I had to open the blinds. I sat on one of their beds, with Bible in hand and decided that I would wake them up with the Word. Started reading John this morning. By the time I got to chapter 4 there were thoughts and questions and comments all around and they were excited about the Word...before they even thought about Life cereal.

"The Jews then responded to him, “What sign can you show us to prove your authority to do all this?” Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.” They replied, “It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and you are going to raise it in three days?” But the temple he had spoken of was his body. After he was raised from the dead, his disciples recalled what he had said. Then they believed the scripture and the words that Jesus had spoken." John 2:18-22 

I've read that to them before, but they were in awe this morning. Such joy! Tonight before going to bed, my one boy comes in and says to me..."Will you wake us up with the Word again tomorrow?" Yes...that is why we homeschool.