Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Special Times For My Special Guy!

The summer is a time for things to grow! My grass needs to be cut every single week...or we are in up to our knees! My son Kyle has had a growth filled summer as well. Summertime has always been a challenge for Kyle because he thrives on routine. Being on the "Spectrum" obviously adds challenges to his daily life, more than anyone would know! He is a fun loving, funny little guy with a sensitive spirit and a beautiful heart, but what he must overcome on a daily basis would exhaust me, emotionally and physically.

It usually takes about a month before he stops asking the question, "Is it school today?" Then when he is not asking that question, we know that we have "detoxed" him from that routine. However, he is constantly searching for consistency in his day. Well, we are far from consistent here...especially in the summer. Children come and visit all the time, we are beaching, or swimming, or visiting or whatever, and sometimes we don't even know until that day what we will be doing. Craziness for someone like Kyle. So needless to say, he has had some serious challenges. He acts out a lot in anger/frustration. What will happen is this: Kyle will start to sing a song or behave a certain way to entertain and make his audience laugh. Well, it is cute the first 15 times, but then, after about 100 times of hearing the same song or seeing the same is NOT FUNNY any any one! Children have a far less level of tolerance for this type of thing (I, being his Mother and knowing his "issues" can tolerate it a bit longer). Then the natives get annoyed and the fighting commences. You here kids shouting "KYLE STOP IT!!! YOU ARE ANNOYING...GO AWAY!!!" His brothers don't do this regularly because they are use to him as well, but if another child starts in on Kyle...his brothers will agree!

We have had many, many, many tears! I have talked with him. "Kyle, people don't like it when you do this 100 times in a row, it is really annoying!....No one thinks you are funny right are not going to be able to keep friends if you continue this..." You get the idea?

Because he struggles socially, it is really hard for him to get that!! He doesn't know when to stop...he doesn't catch the social cues like average children do.

All this to say, he finally had a moment of clarity. Kyle went on his first sleepover, by himself! HUGE deal. Shane & Brendan have both had sleepovers....Kyle NEVER! This was one of the most precious moments I have witnessed with my boy.

We are all set to go to our friends home where his friend Sammy (5 years old) is anxiously awaiting Kyle's arrival. We get into the car and you can tell Kyle had been rehearsing this event in his head for awhile. He says to me, "Mom, I'm not going to sing that song anymore and I will only save my kisses for my Mom and Dad...I don't want to be annoying...I'm a big boy and want to be a good friend." He heard everything I said this summer. When we arrive at the Dinardi's home everyone was waiting outside to greet him. "HI KYLE!!!".. Kyle in the car says to me..."Mom, should I put my backpack on now?" So see his need for routine. We get out and he walks up and says this..."Hello everyone, it is so good to see you all today." My eyes just got all welled up with tears. My precious boy...has been working on this for awhile now. Again, because of his social deficits, he has to work very hard to communicate in a way he feels is acceptable. He is the most polite boy I know....far more than my other children who I must constantly remind..."say thank you...what do you say?" Well, his sleepover was an amazing success! The Dinardis tell us that he can come anytime! Here are that happy friends!


Whitney said...

That is so precious! I am teary eyed. I remember Dylan's first sleepover and I know I am holding out on Tyler's. :)

Momma-of-5 said...

Lisa - that is so precious! What a cutie and what a huge success. So happy for him...and you!