Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Focusing on the Negative..Why?

What is it with us...humans? Why do we have the inclination to focus on the negative? I'm thinking that part of it is sometimes it is what we are used to, so we are comfortable listening to it, speaking it and sadly at times believing it.

My son Brendan is away at camp this week. I have noticed that whenever Brendan is gone for any length of time I begin to see Kyle's (Brendan's twin brother) abilities more clearly as opposed to seeing is disabilities glaring at me! I think because Brendan is so different than Kyle, he is responsible, advanced and gifted in some areas, it almost creates a glaring contrast to all of Kyle's issues. (ie. his severe learning disability and his autistic tendencies)! So it is a nice reprieve to see Kyle and Shane together and Kyle begins to shine in his abilities!

This morning he woke up on the "wrong" side of the bed. I got home from my morning run and I found three little boys (we have a friend sleeping over this week) sitting on the couch and Kyle is already grumpy! (This is 7:30am folks, and they had been at it since 6:30am--according to my husband who couldn't wait to get to work!) HA!

Kyle quickly jumped up to tell me that Shane and his friend were "saying mean things to me...and I've wrote them all down!" I wanted to smile. This from a boy who a year ago couldn't write anything legibly, phonetically or otherwise! So he brought me a stack of papers with at least 15 sheets of negative comments made by Shane and his friend directed towards Kyle. Here is a picture of just a few:
Allow me to interpret: "See this red thing...I'm going to rip it!", "Blah blah blah...I can't see you!" those where quotes from Shane, but as you can see there were many others.

Here is my conversation with my Kyle: "Honey, why are you wasting all of this precious paper on negative comments?" "So I can remember them." "Well, why would you want to remember something that hurts you?" "So I can remember why I am mad at them and remind them of what they said that hurt me when they want to be nice and get something from me!" (Seriously, I wonder if he is really "special needs"! HA!)

You see, there is no hope of getting over this when all we do is repeat all the negative things people say or the lies the enemy may try to tell us. We just sit and hold on to all of this nastiness and it festers like an infected wound making us more and more sick.

Romans 12:1-2 says: Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

It is true that God's thoughts and ways are not those of the natural person. But human minds and hearts can be renewed and transformed by seeking Him; then our thoughts and ways will begin to conform to His. Our greatest desire should be to so live in conformity and the likeness of our Lord that everything we do pleases the God we serve! I encourage you to read Romans 8 and James 1.

So I talked with Kyle and just started speaking truth over him. Reminding him how much he is loved, how precious he is to the Lord and to me, reminding him of the times that Shane shared with him and encouraged him. Then I got him to do this: Write down something positive Kyle--

He actually ended up having a very good day and the boys played very well together! Thank you Lord for giving us Your Word that is full of truth so we can combat all the untruth we swim in each day!

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

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