We Love It Like This! (Day 1)

I decided since I will have all kinds of time not playing board games, geocaching, taking lego pieces apart with my fingernails, washing tons of laundry, fixing breakfast (2x), lunch and dinner  (insert blushing smile face) for 3 adorable and  very missed superheros, I thought I could journal my experiences...without them.

Today, I sent all 3 of my boys off to camp. (The one in the green is our friend). I've never been in my home without my children for this long. Tonight it feels like they are at a sleepover (which rarely happens but occasionally).  In preparation for their trip I did the following. Labeled every item in 3 suitcases with a sharpie or fabric marker (tedious by the way), wrote 3 cards (one to each boy) and hid that in each suitcase, wrote 3 more letters and mailed them out today (so they will get it during camp). I also spent time snuggling with each one, speaking life into them (as well as reminding them oh...100+ times about proper hygiene care) and prayed with each one for their individual experiences. UGH...starting to well up now...hold on...composing myself...ok!

My best friend Lorrie drove her van packed full of boys and suitcases. We took the 2 hour journey, and we finally arrived...along with all of our friends. The boys went crazy. I had visions of teary goodbyes and hugs. Nope. They ran off in 10 different directions while I quietly made their bunk beds. I realized as they popped in and out of the rooms and I rattled off some detailed command...that I totally micromanage them...just a bit.

They are going to be fine. The picture below is the swim test for the lake. You see you can go tubing, swim out to the doc, canoeing...it is a glorious place. I really wanted all of my boys to experience this. This was Brendan's 3rd time going to camp, but my other two..it was their first.

This would be my Kyle. He just completed his swim test (I knew then I should have not stayed). I watched, he is my...special...boy. I saw him swim out and then swim back. The lifeguard told him to get a certain color wrist band...red. He went to the next life guard and she says.."What color?" and he sweetly tells her with a beautifully big grin (and I overheard)..."Oh, I don't know, surprise me!" I piped in and said..."Kyle, she told you red." The life guard proceeds to put a red wrist band on his wrist and off he goes to join his brothers and friends out by the dock. It wasn't too long when I saw him on the shore, covering his wrist looking forlorn (see I knew I shouldn't have stayed). His twin brother was standing next to him, explaining something, so I go and micromanage investigate. Apparently you are not allowed out by the dock without a green wrist band. My heart was broken. I told him to get back in line and try again..."Do your very best Kyle...you can do this...you are a good swimmer." Then with tears in my eyes, I told Lorrie..I better leave. I couldn't handle seeing him look all rejected. It was breaking my heart.

As we walked back, I grabbed my other superhero and told him to encourage his brother. Tell him its gonna be ok. I went up to the benches by their cabin and our Children's Director, Jamie saw me sitting there....with tears in my eyes...well...lots of tears. I told her what happened and she said..they will reevaluate him...no worries. Before we left, Lorrie and I went over to the Anniversary Lodge where we always stay on women's retreats...so beautiful, so peaceful. I felt better and knew..no matter what...everything was going to be fine.

While I was in the car on my way home...Jamie texted me the above picture. HE DID IT! He got the green wrist band. There is nothing that is going to stop him now. You see, there is a part of my heart that carries Kyle just a little differently. There were times and talks about if Kyle would ever talk, would ever function in society, would ever get married, have a career...we just didn't know. We knew he had to get to know Jesus..that was the important thing. He has overcome so much in his young life...and I'm enormously proud of him. This picture was a defining moment for my week. I've entrusted him to others...others that don't know him like I do. He's going to try new things, eat new foods, swim in a lake, off a dock and probably go tubing. I can hardly contain my joy.

Ok..so what did I do besides cry today. Well, I got home to find my husband slaving over the stove for our company on Thursday. (It's complicated)...and we talked about the kids...looked at all my pictures...prayed for the Lord to move in their lives..then I wanted to go running. So I went running on Riverside Drive as my husband and dog went for a walk. We came home and...

 I had popcorn for dinner at 8:00pm. (I know, don't be jealous). We didn't have to cook tonight. Yesterday I bought some twizzlers for the boys to take to camp and I bought a little bag of black. My youngest superhero says to me..."Mom, why are you buying black twizzlers..nobody likes those?" I responded with.."Your Dad and I do! You know when you leave..we're gonna watch movies, stay up late, eat popcorn for dinner and candy for dessert!" He just stared at me in wonderment! So I didn't have twizzlers for dessert, but I did have popcorn for dinner! This was my view towards the end of my run this evening. Perfect huh?

I miss them. They light up my life. I guess I like a house full of noise. Funny, Mr. Incredible and I were married for 10 years before children came into the picture. We were quiet people...we liked it..we thought our children would be like that. They are not & we're glad, because we love it like this!