Saturday, May 16, 2009

I'm Lost Without You

I took my boys to the beach on Friday morning. We had worked so hard all week on school, I decided to do my morning walk on the beach with two of my children and one of their buddies and then they could swim/surf/play until it was time to go home.

My 5 year old son Shane is going through a stage right now where his stranger radar has totally increased. He is very aware of his surroundings and needs to be able to see me at all times. A few weeks ago, we went to the beach and he wouldn't let me sit in my chair, I had to be in the water the whole time or he was in the sand next to me. Even with his brothers braving the waves, he still needed me.

This time was no different, except that we brought a friend with us this time. I think Shane wanted to appear brave in front of his buddy, but he clearly still needed me.

He went into the water with Brendan and Chase and then as the waves would take them off...he would look up from where he was and frantically search the beach for me and my chair. He waved as he saw me and then off with his body board he went. Sometimes the tide would take him off to the right or left and I could see it in his face..."I have to see my Mom!" Every 5 seconds, I'm not kidding, he would look up and I would have to wave at him. Even if he saw me, he wanted to be sure that I saw him...I had to wave back. I understood and complied. He had a great time.

After about an hour of waving, my arms were tired so I called him in. I asked him why I had to keep waving. This is how he responded: "I just feel safer knowing you are there. If I see you, and you see me, then I know I'm not lost!"

Even as I type these words the tears flow down my face. I hugged him and told him I would continue to wave (even if my arms were in pain!)

As I sat there I thought about what an example he was to me. Every single day, I want to be that desperate for my Jesus. It is so easy for us to be overtaken by the storms in our lives. It is all we can do sometimes, just to keep our heads above the crashing waves of the ocean and sometimes we do get off center and are taken left or right. We should frantically be looking for our Savior...not just in times of storms, but in all times. I don't want to do this journey called life on my own. I'm am indeed lost without Him. I do feel safer knowing He is there, right beside me. And yes, if I am constantly aware of His presence in my life, then I know I am where I am supposed to be and I am not lost!

God said to Jacob in Genesis 26:15 and he says it to us today: "I am with you always and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."


ginny said...

Lisa - Loved this blog ! You are so right ! I feel lately I am struggling to keep my head above the crashing waves, but knowing He is there for me, just gives me strength to get thru each day. Thank you for reminding me of that ! and I REALLY WISH I WAS AT THE BEACH WITH YOU GUYS !!!!

Michelle said...

What a great word this morning.

Amanda said...

Reading and needing this! Thanks keep it up!

Monica Kaye said...

This is so beautiful! I felt that very way as I woke this morning--needing to shut down everything else and just be with my Father God.

Great pictures of your boys! Hope your weekend is blessed.

Amanda said...

Rainbow cake post???