Thursday, January 15, 2009

A Necessary Reminder

This is a repost from December of 2006 from my other blog site. It was so good for me re-read this...actually I think I need to be reminded of my own convictions more often. Ironically enough since this writing in 2006 Kyle has undergone some serious testing....I do not know what his IQ is, I learned that he is severly learning disabled, however, I definately see my boy growing and learning every day and we still measure (and always will) Kyle by Kyle. Interestingly enough, when I learned about his "extreme learning disablity", and knowing he has other issues as well, (sensory integration dysfunction, speech and language issues, OCD) I did get a little discouraged. It is amazing, the power of words, which is exactly why I wrote the blog below two years ago. So, with that said, it was simply a reminder to myself that indeed motherhood does not come with a manual, but indeed I do have Emmanuel! God is with me on my journey to raise my boys!

This was entitled "To Be or Not To Be? Is that REALLY The Question?"
Recently someone asked me if I knew the IQ of my children. Well, I do not. This person specifically wanted to know the IQ of my child who is developmentally delayed. The reason this person asked is because she too has a disabled child and was concerned with the score on her child's IQ test.

"Originally, IQ, or Intelligence Quotient, was used to detect persons of lower intelligence, and to detect children of lower intelligence in order to place them in special education programs. The first IQ tests were designed to compare a child's intelligence to what his or her intelligence "should be" as compared to the child's age." Encarta Encyclopedia

Did you notice that the words "should be" are in quotations? Yes. I have come to realize so much with having to deal with a child who is developmentally delayed. Number 1, I hope he never takes an IQ test ever. I have learned (and am continuing to learn) to measure Kyle by Kyle and not his brother or his peers. Do I get nervous sometimes? Absolutely. Do I cry sometimes? A lot actually. What will an IQ test show me? More than likely it will show me that my son is developmentally delayed (below average). (I already know that). But what it will NOT show me is every day he could get a different question right. Every day he learns something brand new that he didn't know yesterday. Two weeks from now he will have new ways of communicating and will have conquered something monumental. An IQ test cannot show this to me.

Another thing that IQ test will give me is a "reliable predictor" of academic and financial success. Do I really believe that? I don't think I do. Because what the IQ test cannot give tell me is what my definition of success is. You see all the gray areas.

I admit, it is very hard to not get caught up in the whole report card thing and grades and intelligence. Especially hard when I have twins and they are polar opposites. One is delayed and one is gifted. Hmmmm? But, what is really important here.

My closest friends know that I once took an IQ test and they know the outcome. We chuckle! I am a stay-at-home mom and I haven't mastered that yet. (My best friend says it is only because motherhood does not come with a manual.) Not exactly what my "predictor" had in mind for me. But it is what my Creator knows is success for me at this time in my life. You see motherhood does not come with a manual, but in my case it came with Emmanuel. Success in His eyes is very different.

One thing Mike & I decided to help each other with focusing on when it comes to our children is this. We will help them be all that they can be in any way, but when it comes right down to it – all that really matters is that they know Jesus personally as their Savior. Because they can become doctors, lawyers, teachers, but they can't take their stethoscope, law books, and rulers with them when there time is up. So when it comes to Kyle, his success will be measured based upon his very own achievements and his relationship with Emmanuel. "With God all things are possible", so who knows Kyle could be an astronaut if that is what God would have for him, or maybe not, either way, if he knows Jesus he will still have his "mansion just over the hilltop" and will have success like none other! No IQ test will ever predict that! But we know it is so! Amen!

1 comment:

Marisa said...

Great post! Thanks for the reminder. It IS Emmanuel that determines our what success looks like for each of us!