Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I Didn't Want To Tell You...

Every once in awhile, I will tell a story about my children and people say, "You should write a book!". Funny! I am in the process of writing a book...I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by it today actually. The book really isn't about my children, but some of the examples I use are most definitely inspired by my superheros.

One of my recent conversations with my 6 year old has brought me so much joy, I really don't ever want to forget it. Isn't that why we journal in the first place? So we don't forget? Here is how the conversation happened:

Coming home from church one Sunday, two of my three boys were sitting in the back seat of the car. (The other in the store with Dad). I hear this being whispered:

Brendan whispering to Shane: "You have to tell Mom!"

Shane: "Shhh...don't tell Brendan...promise you won't tell!!"

Brendan: "We are not allowed to keep secrets from our parents...you know that!!"

I look back and say, "Hey what are you guys talking about? What is the secret...you know you can tell Mom anything!"

Brendan: "I told Shane he should just tell you...but he's afraid."

Me: "Shane, honey, there are no secrets between us baby, what are you afraid to tell me?"

Shane to Brendan: "Just go ahead and tell her Brendan." He looks down...red in face.

Brendan: "Shane is afraid to tell you that he is married now." (Lord, may I NEVER hear those words again)

Me: "What do you mean, you are married?"

Shane: "Well, (insert girl's name here) gave me a kiss on both cheeks the other day, so now we are married because you can only kiss when your married. I was scared to tell you because I didn't want to make you cry. You said you would cry when I get married."

Me: "OH, honey...just because she kissed you on the cheek doesn't mean you are married." (Oh how I wished I could keep that up...kissing was reserved for marriage...we will work on recovering that one). I went on to explain that she was just being sweet and gave you a little peck on the cheek. It did NOT mean that they were now married. And furthermore, when I said I would probably cry like a baby at your wedding...well those would be happy tears (kind of)!

Shane: "Mom, how old were you and Daddy when you got married?" (Loaded question because I was very young)

Me: "Well, I was 21 and your Dad was 25 (Oh it will be 20 years next year)

Brendan: "That means they were 4 years different" (thanks a lot smart boy)"and I think you have to graduate college and have a house before you get married."

Shane: "Well, what if someone else picks (girl) before I am old enough, what will I do then?"

Me: "Sweet heart, that would just mean that she wasn't the one for you." (His eyes opened wide) "God would have someone else in your path that you would fall in love with maybe." (Thinking...he is only 6 Lord...why am I talking about this now!)

Shane: "But I really do love her Mom and I think she loves me!"

Brendan: "Yeah...like a sister!"

Shane: "No way...she kissed me on the cheeks, and she is beautiful and she is nice, she is my girlfriend Mom!"

Somehow I wound this conversation down to this: "If (girl) is the one you are to marry someday (a long long time from now) then you will both know it when the time comes. It is possible...but so much can happen between now and then."

This sparks a series of conversations that I now must have with all of my children. Suffice to say it went well with Kyle and Shane...they know they can tell me anything now and Kyle is quite happy understanding that girls that are friends are girl friends. (Shane still has love issues) Brendan, well, he is another story.

Here is how this conversation went (with my 8 year old):

Me: "Brendan can we talk?"

Brendan, pulling the covers over his head: "Sure Mom."

Me: "You know you can tell me anything...I'm here to talk about whatever...your dreams, hopes, girls, problems...whatever"

B: "Yes Mom, I know."

Me: "Do you like any girls Brendan?"

B: "No, just you!"

Me: "Well, I know you love me, but do any girls make you feel silly in your tummy, or do you think any girls are beautiful?"

B: "No, Mom, just you, you are the most beautiful girl I know Mom!"

Me: "Awe come on Brendan...that is sweet, but really? I mean, do you think you might get married someday?"

B: "Mom, don't worry about it. I'm just going to wander around life and when some girl picks me, I'll marry her, but I'm not gonna worry about it Mom, so don't you worry about it ok?!"

Such great wisdom...wander around life and let some girl pick him...he is so not about the drama of it all! THANK YOU LORD!!

Please Lord, grant me more wisdom for the next time this conversation happens and we are dealing with teenage hormones. Please Lord!


Michelle said...

They may go through the "girls are yucky" stage before the hormonal girls are pretty stage, but then again each kid is different.
Ah, doesn't it make you start to hyperventilate when you think of them marrying someday??

Katie said...

OMG! I don't know what to do with your kids...so funny! I'm glad to know my Ty is coming up behind friends with such wisdom. And I'm glad you put this one down for future refrence...Luvin' yer luv fer us:)

April said...

That is really really cute.... having thoughtful children with all their innocence.
I had a talk with my ten year old daughter today to set her goals in life first before everything else and knowing that God values her above everything or everyone else.
You are indeed a Superhero Mom.It is during times like this I too feel like a superhero.
Cheering you on,