Friday, March 2, 2012

Until We See You Again

Tonight we wait for the phone call. We've said our goodbyes, we have amazing memories and know deep in our hearts that Heaven is where he will finally have his mind and health back and that too is where we will meet again. Above is Pop and Shane..when we first moved here.
I reflect on when we first moved here 8 years ago. Pop was one of the few people in my husband's family who loved and accepted me. Moving to Florida was incredibly difficult, yet Pop opened his home and heart to my family and loved us as much as we loved him.
 We celebrated life every single day together..not just birthdays and holidays..but every day.
We made tons of memories together. Not too many boys can say that they have made a lifetime of memories with their great grandfather.
 Kyle prayed the most precious prayer tonight..."Jesus, please take him Heaven soon, I don't want him to be in pain or suffer. When he gets there Jesus can you give him a message from Kyle? Tell him I love him and I miss him, but I couldn't come and say goodbye, it was too hard. Please would you tell him that, and when I want to say something to him, you can give him the messages until I see him in Heaven."  OH I love this child.

 On of my favorite pictures of Pop!!

 So many sits on his lap. My boys were really blessed.
 He had a thing for Shane. I think because he was a baby when he moved here, Pop just enjoyed this child very much. Ironically enough, Shane had a thing for Pop too. Tonight Shane was the one child who needed some special time saying goodbye. He went and said it was harder than he thought it would be. He told Pop he loved him and kissed his cheek. Then he looked at Mike and said..."I have to cry now Dad..where can I go to cry?" So hard...but their love is deep!

 This is the Pop that would drive me crazy. Trying to raise 3 boys and one! Please stop climbing up on the counters...all of you!

 Mike and Pop had many many many long nights together. Especially in the past 4 years while Pop struggled with Alzheimer's and Dementia. One night in particular Pop accepted Christ as his Savior..after 7 years of living and witnessing to him. Thank you Lord for that blessed assurance.

 What God wants for Christmas, is you Pop!

So glad that for the past 7 months Pop had on earth, he was in a facility that could really care for him. He always seemed happy and alert when we would visit.
 My sweet Brendan (who has Pop's last name as his middle name), who for so long felt as though he was responsible for Pop. Years of watching his great grandfather decline in his mental health, my sweet boy felt that he too was Pop's caregiver. He would stay up late at night listening for Pop to cry out for Mike...if we couldn't hear him..Brendan felt as though he had to tell us. Countless nights of not sleeping here in the Engel house. Such sacrifices, by all of us..including my children. I pray for my boy who's heart is so sensitive.
 Just look at how alert he is!
 Many friends from our church embraced doubt he felt well loved!

 Gotta love the man who would have to wear his winter coat on the April. I'm gonna miss this man!
 The Callahan jowls. :)

Dear Pop,

Why is this so hard for me. I didn't expect to cry a river, yet here I sit unable to stop the tears. You are 94, you have lived an amazing life, one to be proud of. You have taken care of your family and have welcomed me as one of them. Thank you for loving me..for thinking of me as "precious cargo". ;) I guess I'm sad because you were the last link I had to Mike's family. I pray that the Lord would heal this unit. I think that part of my grief is that I probably spent the most time with you out of everyone in the past 8 years...and I am not sure what to feel right now. My heart is raw. It was so challenging towards the end. I couldn't even sit in the same room for too long...I was completely and utterly worn out...and felt horrible about how I felt. I knew that I was unable to care for you, to give you what you needed. Thank God for Michael. Oh I am so grateful to have this man as my husband and the father of my children. He loves you so much Pop. He was such an amazing caregiver. Watching him with you these past few years...made me even more grateful for the man God placed in my life.

I will try to focus on the memories. Especially early on..the ones with my boys. They are indeed blessed to have spent so much amazing quality time with you. You've made an imprint on their hearts. They are grieving tonight...mostly because...the love they have for you is very deep. 

You are on your way to meet Jesus face to face. I'm so glad you gave your life to him, even if you didn't understand it 100%, Mike always says...he believes your spirit man did...and now you meet my Jesus. He will give you a new name Pop. It will be...amazing! Don't'll always be Vincent Donald Callahan...and yes we know that the "O" got dropped in the ocean when your family came over from Ireland. 

Until we meet on that side dear Pop....I love you!

 "Where sky and water meet, Where the waves grow sweet, Doubt not, Reepicheep, To find all you seek, There is the utter East." - The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, CS Lewis


Michelle said...

What a beautiful goodbye, a wonderful account for years to come, a heart felt beginning of the healing. Xoxo love your family

Leslie Anne said...

What a wonderful tribute to Pop, your blog is awesome!

mariki said...

My Friend in our Savior -- (with whom I'll do a lot of catching up in heaven one day) -- what a journey of grace you have traveled with Pop; what lovely memories you will always treasure, and how God is preparing your boys for a life of godly works for which He, because of grace, had predestined them.

Jesus will be with you all in this new task of morning that He has ordained, and you will smile through the tears.

With love in Christ