Monday, March 26, 2012

Looking Back At My Footprints

New Smyrna Beach Sunrise - greets me every Monday!
No surprises here. I've been consistently training 3 days a week for a 10K now for 8 weeks. No I've not signed up for one yet. I've completed two 5Ks and am signed up for another next month, and felt like it was time to push myself a little farther. So 6.2 miles it is. I'm also still trying to lose weight. Lifelong journey.

I'm presently up to 4.89 miles of running (with a 5 minute brisk walking warm up and cool down)....45 minutes of actual running/jogging. Eight weeks ago, I could barely even do 5 minutes of running. So the consistency and conditioning is really working. I love to run.

There is something that happens after the first 15 get into your groove..and then there is no stopping you. You feel...amazing! Actually, I feel amazing right now.

Sadly, when you have a weight issue, it is hard to see the differences in your body. Easier sometimes to feel the differences. That is where I am. A few days ago I was running in my neighborhood and I happened to catch a glimpse of my shadow. I just about died. No seriously. I wanted to stop running, sit down on someone lawn and cry. I looked at that shadow and said to myself..."you do not deserve to be running." (I know lies..all lies!) Literally struggled with the fact that even though I felt awesome and was actually doing it...and doing it well, I still had too much weight to lose and someone my size should not be out there running 5 miles a day.

Riverside Drive run in the rain....dedication!
My sweet friend and marathon runner Peggy goes to my church and happens to be married to my physician. She has been giving me books to read, articles and advice now for months. She has become my running coach. Giving me advice on the sport as well as the diet specific for runners. I talked with her about my discouraged image that I saw in that shadow. She of course set me straight. The muscle that I'm building is apparently making my weight loss slow down a bit. My husband says..."Strong IS the new skinny!" He couldn't be more proud of me right now...and remember I feel 100%.

So as I ran on the beach this morning (with my new running shoes), I looked at my footprints. I'm not entirely sure why I did that. I did notice however, that it really slowed me down. Stop looking back Lisa! Stop looking at the warped image of a girl who has struggled with weight her entire life. Look forward and the run will go faster, smoother and better! I don't want to even look to the side where I will see my shadow. Just keep my head straight and my body lined up and my feet going forward all the time. I building muscle. I building a life of discipline, a healthy lifestyle for my sons! I honoring God with my body and how I'm doing my best to care for it. I'm not perfect at it. I still have 30 extra pounds that I carry with me every single time I run. (Probably should say that I've lost almost 50 with Weight Watchers so far...still going!) I eat healthy, I exercise, I feel wonderful...but I have that baggage. I don't want to take drops, pills or shakes. I want to live a lifetime with the food that God has provided for me. Will I reach my goal. YES!

I will do it in God's time. Let everything will be the best time...He is preparing me for a lifetime journey. This will not end 30 pounds from now...this will be my life. Might as well enjoy the journey and stop looking back at my footprints!


Aleatha said...

what a great imagine you put in my heart and mind with this. Look forward! I am proud of you and your determination to see the path God has laid out for you!!

Michelle said...

Keep on keeping on my friend. Eyes straight ahead. Perhaps one day I will jog/run and can get a few tips from you :)