Thursday, March 11, 2010

Living For The Moment

I am going to write about our vacation in the next few posts. We haven't been on a family vacation in close to 6 years. So this was a big deal for us! We really, really needed this. I probably, more than anyone else really needed this. I have been feeling like I've been sinking, my mind is like a whirlwind or a cyclone and I haven't been able to sleep a full night's sleep in a couple of months. My husband and I care for his grandfather, who is 92 years old. I love him dearly and am so glad to be able to do this for this journey of his life. He has advanced dementia and it has begun to really take a toll on me. Pop has his nights and days confused, so when we are sound asleep at 2:00am...he comes into our room and wants to know the plan for the day. He wants to talk. We take him back to bed, but he is doing the same thing about an hour later. He has been eating 6 breakfasts a day because he is convinced that every time he wakes up from a nap, it is the morning of the next day. The days are full of questions, confusion and conspiracy. My heart breaks for him. This plus the daily concern of him burning down the house because he places clothing and towels on his heater and the his personal hygiene factor plays a part in my exhaustion. (Not to mention all of those other "balls" I juggle...homeschooling 3 boys, one with a learning disability, starting a new ministry and speaking every month, regular duties of a wife, mother and friend.) I have been crying a lot lately. Both Mike and I felt like it was time to get away. After setting up "Pop Care" with some of my friends from church, we were off for 3 nights and 4 days away.

I learned something very valuable during my vacation. We left Friday morning and arrived in Miami by Friday afternoon. We had a nice afternoon getting a hold of where we were and just driving around. I actually slept 8 straight hours on Friday night. I haven't done that (not even close to that) in several months. Saturday arrives and we have a great day, but back at the hotel that night I laid in bed and cried. I just cried...like I have been doing too often! I was distraught. I had gotten a full night's sleep and yet I still felt like my world was crumbling. My husband just held me and prayed for me and I cried myself to sleep that night.

Another full night's rest! I woke up Sunday morning and felt pretty good. We went to the Everglades and then to the Florida Keys and I had the most wonderful, refreshing day I have had in such a long long time!

Here is what I learned:

I learned how important sleep really is for the body and the mind. I needed to catch up a little bit. One full night's of sleep is not going to catch me up after not sleeping but 3-4 hours a night for months.

I learned that we need to live in the moment every once in awhile.
Take in the beauty that God has given us!
I learned that sometimes, we need to stop talking about the future, the past, and just live in the moment. That Sunday we did just that. We didn't talk about Pop, the house, school, ministry...we just took in the sights and sounds of the day.

We held hands, used our binoculars (we love our binocs) went for walks and laughed. We haven't laughed like that in months. We ALL needed this getaway.
Yesterday it hit me when I was in the car with my three boys and we were coming home from soccer evaluations. We were laughing and my one son looks over at me and says..."Mom, you are so funny, that is not like you!" Wow! That was painful! But it is true. I let the pressures of this world take a part of me and change me. I don't want to do that again. I know we need to plan, organize and think of the future. I know I am responsible for our grandfather's well being. I know also, that I need a full nights sleep every so often and I need to spend time having fun with my family. I need to make some priority changes.

So stay tuned as I log our amazing vacation in South Florida!

5 comments:

Sweet cakes said...

oh...I cried reading your blog. Though Our situations are different, I feel the same.God TOO has calling me to live each day with the upmost joy and to see him in everything..and dont let the sin of this world way me down. HE is in control!
I Love ya girl!

Sweet cakes said...

oh...I cried reading your blog. Though Our situations are different, I feel the same.God TOO has calling me to live each day with the upmost joy and to see him in everything..and dont let the sin of this world way me down. HE is in control!
I Love ya girl!

Hi I'm Michelle said...

I too have been learning to live in the moment basking in the glory and wonder of our Savior. Glad you got some sleep and I pray you continue to get all that you need.

Aleatha said...

Its amazing I hear you tell the stories and they touch my heart then I read your stories and they grab my heart. I love you, my amazing friend!

mariki said...

Superheroine Mum -- sooooo thankful God gave you this wonderful gift!

Take care.