The Dark Place

 

Photo by tiverylucky @ freedigitalphotos.net

This week we talked a lot about freedom. Freedom because of the men and women who fought and continue to fight on our country's behalf. What about our Freedom in Christ? Everywhere I look I'm seeing captivity.  My heart is so burdened for my friends who are believing lies today. That's what it boils down to, believing lies and choosing not to renounce the words that others have spoken over them.

A few years ago, my pastor came to my home, having heard what had been done to me before he even came to pastor our church. He came to renounce the lies spoken about me, and replace the curse with blessing. Around my dining room table he petitioned Heaven on my behalf and spoke words of blessing and truth! That spoke volumes to my soul. I hadn't realized up until that point the real power behind words.

I realize now why God has been calling me to study our identity in Christ - so many people in my life are struggling right now. I just wrote "Who Am I?" a week ago...explaining the truth about how God sees us. 

Now, if we are in His Word, writing down the truth on index cards and on our hearts - repeating it to ourselves daily we will start to actually believe it. Then because thoughts become actions, our daily lives will testify what we really believe about ourselves.

Here is the truth - GOD cannot lie!! So if He says something about you....believe it!

I've been there before. I lived most of my youth believing things about me that were not true. I even believed lies as an adult, gosh....a few months ago. I probably still believe lies!! However, I have learned to renounce those words that don't line up with God's Word. I have asked God to give me the ability to recognize and believe the truth. My reality isn't necessarily God's reality! OK, so I'm most likely an optimistic person. I've been studying joy also, so I'm thinking that is helpful.

The number one enemy of JOY is FEAR/ANXIETY. Why do we believe lies about ourselves? Why do we dwell on the negative...FEAR. That is why we need to learn to pull the truth out of God's Word! I promise...it will set you FREE! 

In the past two days this is what I've heard from various people in my life: If any of this resonates with you...renounce the condemning words with truth!

I'm a failure. (Well, perhaps you have failed today at something, perhaps you got or done something wrong today, you've made a mistake)...THIS DOES NOT DEFINE YOU!   
You are actually God's workmanship (Eph. 2:10) (He doesn't EVER fail or make failures!)
You are free from condemnation (Romans 8:1)

I'm unlovable! (You think that no one wants you because you've been alone. Perhaps you think something must be wrong with you.)....THIS DOES NOT DEFINE YOU!  
You are actually tenderly loved by God (Jeremiah 31:3) and you are a sweet fragrance of Christ to God. (2 Corinth 2:15)

I have no friends! (You may not be going out every night. Maybe you don't get the phone calls you thought you'd be getting. Perhaps you've not been invited to hang out with "the others".) Investigate here...are you reaching out to others? ....regardless...THIS DOES NOT DEFINE YOU!  
You're a member of Christ's body (1 Corinth. 12:27) 
You're Christ's friend (John 15:5)...

I'm not being used by God! (Perhaps your time to operate your gifts has not happened yet. His timing is perfect by the way. Also, I've learned...be faithful in the little things)...either way...remember -  
You have been established, anointed, and sealed by God (2 Corinthians 1:21:22) and 
You are God's coworker (2 Corinthians 6:1, 1 Corinthians 3:9)

These are just a few things...but enough to bring some so far down to almost depression. Listen, the enemy loves to have a field day with our minds. If he can get you to doubt...he will be thrilled!

I implore you - READ THE WORD - and ask God to help with unbelief!! Of course my friends that have mentioned these things don't read my blog. That's ok, I've already said ALL of this to their faces.

Pray with one another. Call someone to pray for you. DO NOT get stuck in that dark place of self pity and anxiety/fear. If you're thinking too much of yourself and your life (what it is or isn't)..that is another thing that will rob you of your JOY.

God is faithful. Be confident in this, that the good work that God has begun in you WILL be perfected!

Who Am I?

Teaching my boys about their identity in Christ!

In the past I've mentioned that I use to struggle with my identity. It's true. When I was a child, I was "Lisa Tulli/Sine (Sine was my adopted name, Tulli my Mother's maiden name) unplanned, intruder, the cause of my mother's death, average, ugly girl." These were the things I was told, things that others perceived me to be, things that sadly I started to believe myself. No worries - my early childhood was rough for sure, but...I was rescued!

As a young married woman, in New Jersey I was "Lisa Engel, teacher, speaker, woman who spent 10 years struggling with infertility and loss..." and finally when I moved to Florida 10 years ago I was simply "Lisa Engel, Mom of 3 boys under the age of 2".

It's a puzzle of who God says he is - unique and perfectly fitting!

You see the problem. While much of these "identities" are based on truth in my life, they are NOT who I am, they are more of what I've done or possess, what I've been through, or even what I'm perceived to be. None of those things is who I am! 

Today I no longer struggle! I'm confident in my identity because I understand what it is to have my identity in Christ. The more time I spend with Him the more I become aware of His nature, and the more I want to be like Him. I'm His! 

He fashioned me to be simply Lisa! Simply me!

Who am I in Christ? What does that mean anyway? Here it is...and its all found in His Word:

I'm forgiven. I'm greatly loved. I'm adopted! I'm chosen! I'm God's favorite (blessed and highly favored)! I'm fearfully and wonderfully made! I'm the head and not the tail! I'm redeemed, healed, a new creation! I'm MORE than a conqueror! I'm firmly rooted! I'm built up! I'm alive! I'm FREE! I'm loved unconditionally! I'm a child of a King! An heir to the throne...from royalty! I could go on and on and on and on! 

 

Indeed God's favorite - don't let anyone tell you differently!

Now, if you really believe all these things that are actually found in His Word....and you make a habit of reminding yourself of these truths about your identity. YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!

He's refining me everyday! I know not everyone will like it, but I don't have to worry for one second about that - because HE loves it! I use to worry about what others thought. In fact there are people who have a problem with me being me, me being full of joy, confident and using the gifts God has given me. They've so much as told me so. At one point this hurt me so much! I understand now that is their issue...not mine! They can take it up with my Maker! Listen, He doesn't make mistakes!  Don't let others or the world mold you into something - you already have a Creator for that!

Absolutely, I'm in LOVE with my LORD!

Lastly remember, these are not to make you proud! I laugh because it really couldn't make us proud, we've had nothing to do with these things. It's all about the One who created us! These are because of Him. You and I are who we are in Christ because HE made us in His image! We had NOTHING to do with it! That is why we can be confident and not cocky!  

Finally, all these things are true. It doesn't become void because we've doubted it, or because we've messed up. If you are a child of God, if you accepted His free gift of salvation through Jesus Christ, if you have partaken of His Grace...His Amazing Grace...than these things are true of you! 

If you've never made a decision to give God a chance, guess what these things are true of you too. There is a man or woman of God (created in the very image of God) inside of you longing to rise up! The only barrier standing in the way, is your unbelief. If you know that you are a sinner (we were born in sin), and you believe that Jesus Christ was God's only Son sent to die for your sins (He paid the penalty for us - shed His blood, so we could be saved), and you if would accept His free gift of salvation - you could remove that barrier - and you too could be confident today that you are indeed all that the Word says you are in Christ! 

I would love to help you with any questions you may have. You can leave a comment, or message me. I'm excited! 

Listen, I cannot stress enough....SPEND TIME WITH YOUR CREATOR! He knows you best! As you spend time in His presence (talk with the Lord, pray, listen, sing...just be)  you start to talk like Him, smell like Him, act like Him. It's true! Try it...I dare you! 

What Do You Call An Old Chicken?

Well, if the word isn't out yet, it's going to be....I'm not a young chick anymore. Nope! I am in my mid-40s and I'd like to say it feels GREAT! However, as hard as I'm working on feeling great, exercising, getting fit...I can tell you...there is this force...and its working against me. I'm afraid its called Menopause.

OK...I'm not quite here yet:

However, I am on my way. Some call it....perimenopause. Great the red squiggly line for spell check underlines the word. I wish that if Webster didn't recognize it, we wouldn't have to either, but we do.

For 10 years I struggled with infertility. Why? Because I had two horrible hormonal issues called Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome and endometriosis. I eventually had my babies, and became...."normal" or "regular" as we like to call it. I still have no thyroid as antibodies have been feasting on that since I received 8 blood transfusions when I lost over half my body's blood giving birth to my twins.  Lots of "forces" are working against my goals. As I rested today because I'm feeling...not so GREAT...I came to realize a few things and thought I would record them.

I really prayed today because I have two boys who are entering adolescence...and we been spotting some pre-puberty symptoms:  like crying for no reason, aches and pains in body, feelings getting hurt very easily, worrisome, sad or depressed feeling..blah!

My husband has been praying too. He knows that I've been experiencing symptoms like, crying for no reason, feeling sad or blah, forgetfulness, weird aches and pains, and with his vast knowledge now he knows them to be pre-menopausal.

Pray for my husband if you get a chance. If pre-puberty and pre-menopausal must live in harmony...it is going to take Divine Intervention.

 Ok...I am not a classic menopausal person. I'm not really moody or crazy, however I have noticed a few symptoms creeping into my life. In case you are wondering what the symptoms of perimenopause are or if you are not certain what that even is...let me share what I've learned.

Perimenopause, or menopause transition, is the stage of a woman's reproductive life that begins several years before menopause, when the ovaries gradually begin to produce less estrogen. It usually starts in a woman's 40s, but can start in a woman's 30s or even earlier. Perimenopause lasts up until menopause, the point when the ovaries stop releasing eggs (hence the chickens at the top). In the last one to two years of perimenopause, this decline in estrogen accelerates. At this stage, many women experience menopausal symptoms.

Some perimenopause symptoms are: hot flashes, breast tenderness, worsening PMS, decreased libido, fatigue, irregular periods, weight gain, vaginal dryness, urine leakage, urinary urgency, mood swings and difficulty sleeping. Seriously, don't you just feel sorry for women right now. At least by writing this down, I've found some joy...I'm not experiencing even half of these symptoms...but I've got some.

So here it is ladies (I'm sure any male readers dropped out way up at the top), its time to pull out the truth! I'm not in a race to get to my goals...I just want to get there at some time. The scale has been teasing me with its ups and downs. My body has been acting like it is old or tired or pregnant. (I'm not...I checked...I'm not kidding!)

I have to make a decision NOW before it gets really bad interesting. So, I've talked it over with the Lord..and here's our plan.

Regardless of what emotions are whirling around inside, by God's grace, I can choose to fix my mind on Him and, trust and obey. When I do this, I know that I will indeed experience His peace.

I will rely on His Word and promises: "I am with you always" (Matthew 28:20), "My God will meet all your needs" (Phil 4:19), "Though the mountains be shaken and hills removed, yet His unfailing love will not be" (Isaiah 54:10) "Give thanks in all circumstances" (1 Thess. 5:18). So many more that directly relate to those emotions (some I've already shared with my pre-pubescent boys).

Finally instead of dreading what is to come, I'm going to choose to understand that this is the way God made me. "You created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb, I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days (YES ALL OF THEM) ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be" Psalm 139.

So I'm not going to fight this. I'm going to keep going, keep trying to get fit and not be in a race about it. I'm not in my 20s or 30s anymore. I'm not a young "chick"! I'm hoping to keep a sense of humor and surround myself with other women that can keep me laughing! And when the time comes and I take up residence on Menopause Lane and I begin to experience more symptoms (which by the way, I'm already praying will pass  me by...why not...God can do all things)...I'm going to try to take each one with a good attitude. It's all about perspective right?

Anyway, we'll see when the time comes. Remember to pray for my family during all of this pre-stuff happening...especially for Mr. Incredible. I mean he is incredible...but we all have our limitations!

Go Back To Truth

As explorers, or people on a journey, sometimes we'll find ourselves in a land that must be conquered. It can be difficult, lots of lesson to be learned (often times painful), but finally we do it His way and alas it is conquered. We put up our flag and go on our way. Thinking, finally, I can leave this land and move on. Then why is it, after traveling for awhile, do we find ourselves walking around in very familiar territory? It's like we suddenly feel like..."I've been here before, I've already conquered this? What is going on?" Then we look around to see the flag we posted...yes..indeed we are back..again! UGH!

One of my superheroes will often say to me (when it comes to his particular mountain that he must climb)..."Mom, I know I'm supposed to do this, but it is really hard...I mess up and I just can't help it." For me, its not messing up, its more..listening to the lies! Why do I even entertain the lies? So...what do we do when we find ourselves facing the same thing we thought we conquered? We go back to the Truth. It's the same thing I just told my sweet young superhero the other day as he sat at the table trying so hard not to let his flesh get the better of him. 

The Truth: Through the power of His Holy Spirit, God will enable us to do anything He commands us to do!

You can find it right in the book of Truth...the Bible. Philippians 2:13 says "for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." God does not command us to do anything that He does not give us the grace to obey, as we depend on Him. That means, there is no one we cannot forgive, no one that we cannot love, we CAN give thanks in all things and we can be content in every circumstance. 

The issue is not that we can't obey God--that we can't forgive that person or parent who hurt us so deeply, that we can't love that co-worker, that we can't give thanks in the midst of the storm, or that we can't be content with our meager finances, or we can't help it... (whatever the case may be in your life).

The real issue is that we won't forgive, we are unwilling to love, and we refuse to give thanks and to be content with what God has provided. Obedience is a choice made in dependence on the supernatural power of God. By the enabling power of the Holy Spirit, we can choose to forgive, choose to let Him love others through us, choose to give thanks in every circumstance, and choose to be content.

In the end, the truth doesn't really change the tangible things that we see. The fact is, the flag is still staring us in the face, you may very well be back at this place again! The truth however will eventually change us! I have found when I am facing that flag again, all I need to recall is the truth...then somehow, miraculously, like in the first book of the Chronicles of Narnia...in between the wood...I am in another place..back on my journey. The more quickly we go back to truth...the more quickly we can move on. See ya...I'm on a journey!