Soul Ministry

Raw. Probably the best word to describe how I've been feeling lately. It hurts. It burns. I'm going through my own very private (for now), very painful journey. One that I'm confident will end up producing something beautiful. Isn't that how it usually is? I'm sure willing to go through the fire in order to come out refined.

He has worked so hard...against all odds..against all naysayers...he did it! It was very difficult towards the end. We lived a 5 loaf 2 fish miracle for almost 2 years. Now he has a job, a good job...but it is just the beginning. Time to make up for the last few months of famine.

I am able to see God's hand so easily when it comes to His provision. This time he is struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The horizon just over the mountain. The land beyond the boulder. It is January. We were very intentional during this season (so proud of my family). He sees everything as falling apart...all at once....

Have you been there?

Obstacles, mountains, crisis after crisis, things literally and figuratively falling apart right before your eyes. I can see where if you don't  keep your focus..you can look at these "light and momentary troubles" and think they are never going to get any better.

Friends. We can't choose which scripture to believe or not to believe. I BELIEVE IT ALL! It is all for me. MY God longs to BLESS me. I'm the head not the tail. My Father own the cattle on a thousand hills. He has stored up for us...He WILL provide. I look back at His FAITHFULNESS. HE IS the same, yesterday...today...FOREVER.

I laid my hand on his head before the sun was even up this morning. (like he has done for me in the past). I called out to our Daddy...Oh Abba...remind him who he is...and the plans you have for him...the plans that are good, full of hope and a future. "Thank you" he says.."for caring for my soul." (We need each other.)

His Word is ALIVE and ACTIVE! It is! It doesn't matter that I feel raw...or hurt...or that he cannot see beyond the boulder..or that you think this will never end...it doesn't change the fact that HE IS!

This might remind you. I have a friend. She lives states away...yet the Holy Spirit uses her as an instrument to minister to my soul...PRECISELY...when it is needed. I mean...ALWAYS EXACT!  Never fails, whether it has been a timely card, a plaque, CD or a song link...the timing and message is PERFECT.

Friends...ONLY God can do that! He is intimately involved in your life, in my life, in his life. Whether you believe it or not...doesn't change the fact that it is true! He longs to bless you. So just wait a second.....

You have to do it like I did. Push play...and then close your eyes. If you are brave...raise your hands just a little to receive what the Holy Spirit has for you. I pray this ministers truth to your soul...as it has mine.

Joy To The World

Honoring our Pop...missing him this Christmas!

I'm about to open the blinds into my soul once again. The email response and discussions I received from my writing about pre-menopause reminds me that I am not alone. However, my personal encounters with people this week made me realize that great need for joy certainly transcends the affects of menopause.

In light of what has recently happened in our world, the tragedy of Newtown CT, the lack of words are only shadowed by the shed of tears of grief. Yet we sing the song, Joy to the World. Remember, joy is possible...because the Lord has come. (OH He is coming again...and for that the Spirit and the Bride...say COME!)

The most recent affects of my body going through a change that occurs around my age has been somewhat physical, but mostly emotional/mental. I am watching my symptoms very closely, keenly aware..yet somehow unable to stop them.

Yesterday we took this pie to a dear sweet woman. She struggles with her health and thus with her emotions. I understand, to a degree. She told me her friends are afraid that she is depressed...she won't admit that...she is "just sad" she says.

Needless to say the special delivery and our extended visit certainly brought cheer to her heart. We left her laughing and promising to see her at the end of the week. She was at a point just a week ago...just wanting to "Go Home"..not wanting people to fuss over her, not wanting to see anyone, go anywhere, do anything. But the Lord has come.

We spoke of my latest symptoms (with the hope that she would share what is going on in her psyche). The feeling of not being able to recover...both physically (like when I was sick with the flu) and emotionally. While months ago something could happen and I would let it roll, and move on. Now when something happens, I'm disappointed or disapproving I can't seem to let it go as easily. My recovery time...is so much greater. That is SO frustrating - after all, I live in a world of pre-pubescent boys and a husband who sleeps during the day and works when I'm sleeping...there is lots of room for disappointment.

The other symptom I'm noticing besides the occasional hot flash is feeling paralzyed. I can't seem to accomplish the things I use to accomplish. Kind of like attention deficit I guess. I will start out in my mind thinking I'm going to accomplish this list of things...and be very fortunate to get one or two things done. Again...not me at all!

Then there is the weepy thing. UGH! Enough is enough. I weep when I'm happy, sad or sometimes over absolutely nothing at all.

Then just today, this morning a woman called me, someone who read my previous blog and on her way to work, she needed someone to pray with her. She too is experiencing similar symptoms. She just wants to hide, withdraw, she feels like she can't recover from her emotions.

I am aware that our Creator, the one that formed us in our mother's womb, did not make a mistake. I am certain that when we are feeling this way, whether it is from menopause, depression or anxiety...if we spend time with our Maker...he will help us stay centered. Remind us that we are created in His image....He did not make a mistake. Sometimes this world marks us, harms us, dents us...but our Creator...he knows how to fix us, heal us, polish us. 

So, I centered myself once again on scripture. The one thing that is an anchor, dependable and true.
1 John 17:13 "But now I am coming to you, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have my joy fulfilled in themselves." 

Joy you see is a fruit of the Spirit. Not something we work for...it is just there for us, accessible, no matter what is going on in our world, lives or others' lives. It is because He has come...the glory of His righteousness and the wonders of His Love. I think the more I center on that...the more joy I begin to feel. So...Joy To The World...and yes...The Spirit and The Bride say...COME LORD JESUS!

Mother Teresa said it best...

"The coming of Jesus at Bethlehem brought us joy to the world and to every human heart. May His coming this Christmas bring to each one of us that peace and joy that He desires to give!"