Making Magical Memories

Great things come in small packages!

I think that the most vivid memories of Christmases past are usually not about the gifts that were received or even given, but of the spirit of love, the special warmth of Christmas worship, the cherished traditions of home and the results of just being Jesus to one another.

Yesterday was amazing. We were pretty sure that our boys wouldn't mind not opening too many gifts on Christmas. After all, we only ever do 3 gifts per child, but those gifts are treasured. This year we decided that we just wanted to focus on making memories. As our boys get older, they desire to spend time with friends (which is understandable and acceptable), but we know that before we know it, a girl just might steal their heart...and then our lives will change dramatically!

So my husband and I figured out a way that we could afford annual passes to Disney World this year. We were going to surprise them good! We had to wake them up at 5:30am...my youngest was VERY tired.

I had packed a Bible in each of these boxes (for weight). On top of that I laid their annual pass to Disney and then on top of that was a Disney World rain poncho!

You can tell by the looks on their faces...they were in total shock. It has been several years since we visited Disney World. We were going to Disney on Christmas Day! Last Christmas Mr. Incredible had to work...we waited around until he got home, then he had to go to bed shortly after that. This Christmas he had off! It just happened to be on his day off! That alone was a gift!

So, there wasn't a whole lot of unwrapping to do. As we arrived at Disney, we were very aware of those men and women having to work on Christmas day...and doing so with a smile. We thanked every Disney worker we could for giving their time. We wore our "We Are Family" shirts that our church had made for our Pastor's sermon series...on Family Values. We represented our new church (Family Worship Center was on the back of the shirt) as well as Jesus!

 It really is a very magical place! You can't help but smile!

Let the memory making year begin! We made sure we let others go before us in line if they were struggling to get there first. We moved back so smaller children could see things. We really tried to think of others today! That is what made the day so special. We knew we could keep going back to Disney and we had no problem showing people the love of Christ on His special day!

 It's a small world is one of my favorites. It never gets old!

Italy - my heritage!

You know, because he wants to be president someday!

We explored Tom Sawyer Island. That was fun...going over on the raft and then exploring trails, mines and crooked bridges! We even explored a hidden escape hatch!!

Exploring Tom Sawyer Island!

After Tom Sawyer Island, we went to our Fastpass destination...Space Mountain. This ride just about did me in. Maybe I'm getting to old, but my brain felt like it was jostling around just a little too much! So as the other boys and Dad went on Pirates of the Caribbean, Shane and I went to a show and got a great spot for the Christmas Parade!

Waiting for Mickey and friends to do their Christmas Celebration Show!

 Parades are my favorite! Especially at Christmas! The songs, the smiles, the snow!! Really you can't beat it!

 

We survived Disney on Christmas Day. It really wasn't as bad as everyone was telling us it would be. We ended in up in a restaurant off Disney grounds (not easy to find on Christmas day) and we blessed the socks of our waiter Gus. He was amazing, did everything with a smile, but would have much preferred being home with his family!

I love that my boys enjoy being with us! I love that they enjoy serving with us and we are in fact still their favorite people! They couldn't stop thanking us and hugging us and dreaming of what to do next! This will get them away from their electronic devices a bit, help them use their imagination, and keep us all active...as walking around Disney parks...is GREAT exercise!

Looking forward to spending some quality time with each other this coming year - building magical memories that will last a lifetime! It was a different Christmas...not a traditional one by any means...but it was quite magical to say the least!

A Resurrected Tradition

As promised I will post the outcome of tonight's adventure. This was my status update on Facebook this morning (Saturday, December 21, 2013) :

Tonight I will be doing the unthinkable. I will be allowing my children, to once again, create a gingerbread house. Now, for those that do not understand...I may be great with cookies, but gingerbread houses have been my undoing. Our last experience was, for lack of a better word, tragic. (so much so that I swore...NEVER EVER to attempt one EVER again) I will NOT however be doing this alone. We have enlisted a couple who are highly trained and apparently very successful to assist. If you would just pray, my children are, as you can imagine, suffering from PTGBHBS (Post traumatic gingerbread house building syndrome). Pray that tonight's experience will redeem this Christmas tradition for the Engel boys. lol!! Off to purchase some supplies! (After this evening I promise to update in a blog - that will explain any of the gaps in this status update). ;P

What some do not know, is that last December, I was experiencing pre-menopausal symptoms. I didn't realize what was going on. This particular day, this day of gingerbread house disaster story was indeed my undoing and my reason for getting help. (You can read about some of this experience here: What Do You Call An Old Chicken)

It was December 10, 2012, I remember the day like it was yesterday. We had 3 kids and 5 gingerbread houses to build. I had every supply neatly organized, each boy was patiently waiting their turn to decorate. One bag of icing (which clearly is not enough) and several cute candies to place on each house. I put together one house, gave it to the Shane and started on Kyle's house. While I was trying to put Kyle house together Shane's house collapses! I put Kyle's house on hold and attempt to fix Shane's. In the meantime, Brendan sits patiently waiting. While trying to fix Shane's his candy that he meticulously placed starts falling off the roof of the house. I give him his back and attempt to fix Kyle's. This went on...way to long. Finally finished building Brendan's and Kyle's fell apart again..with almost all candy on them. I still promised two more houses, but after all the repairs. I had no icing! UGH!

At some point in all the chaos, I cry out..."I PROMISE YOU....WE WILL NEVER EVER BE DOING THESE EVER EVER AGAIN!" "I HATE GINGERBREAD HOUSES!" I had to walk away from the table a few times. Here was the result:

OK, I know it doesn't seem awful, but that is because my boys are adorable and I love them and they are amazing...but this was pure torture for me! I let my kids eat whatever they wanted immediately after this picture. I wanted nothing in my house to remind me of this. About an hour after all of this, as I was still cleaning up, I saw out of the corner of my eye, my son Brendan running away. I went to him and calmly asked..."What's the matter honey?" I noticed that he was crying. He said..."I'm so sorry Mom, I am so sorry!" What in the world! It is okay honey! No matter what it was....tell me what happened! I went real close to him and he hugged me. I was worried, I didn't know what happened. He finally walked out and showed me that one of my dining room chairs was broken. He said he was standing on the side of it and the leg snapped in half.  Calmly and lovingly I held him in my arms and said.."Hey, its ok! It's only a chair sweetheart! It's just stuff...don't worry about it!" It was that moment...that very important moment that caused me to call the Doctor the next day. I just flipped out like a mad woman over a gingerbread house that kept breaking...and now (like Jeckyl and Hyde) I was calm as a cucumber over real furniture! Something was desperately wrong with me. We laughed through tears...and I decided...promised...pledged NEVER to attempt these things again!

Tonight, I will be observing as some of the masters of Gingerbread House Building attempt to redeem this Christmas tradition that has tragically died in my house. I'll return to post pictures and write an update!
          ______________________________

I'm back (Monday, December 23, 2013)! I had to wait until the competition was over. Our friends had people vote on their favorite...and posted all 8 of the gingerbread houses that were completed by their 5 children and my 3 children.

Well, I must confess...this year's gingerbread house building and decorating was amazing. I didn't have to do one thing except operate in my love language...words of affirmation. I can do that. I'm not gifted in the art of gingerbread house building, but I can encourage like nobody's business.

The Reynold's family were all prepared (you can tell they were experts). Long table with plenty room for 8 children, bowls filled to the rim with every candy you can imagine and graham crackers...lots of them. Both families contributed to the candy stash as well as the royal icing. (Although...we had WAY too much of both - better to be prepared!) Last year...I ran out of icing that was given to us in the kit...very frustrating.

So here are the results. I'm proud of my boys. They operate in a deficit because I don't really do much in the craft department with them. However, they were amazing! They went right to work...without any touch of adult hands...whatsoever! Not only am I proud, I'm also VERY THANKFUL!

Brendan's Gingerbread house and yard! 

This was Kyle's mobile outhouse. (one side of it) 

Here is the entrance to Kyle's mobile outhouse. That's a nice place to go potty I think!

And finally my Shane...A Christmas castle!

I'm pretty sure their favorite part was knowing they accomplished this tradition that we all thought was dead forever. They did it on their own and then they got to eat as much as they could when they were done! Besides the smiles on their faces, the joy in their hearts and the fellowship with some awesome friends...for me, I enjoyed watching them be creative and then eating it...so I didn't have to bring it home!

I cannot believe I'm saying this, but I've decided, promised, pledged that I will allow my boys to do this again next year! Truth! They had a great time..from picking out the candy, to building and eating it!

Christmas! We have so many wonderful traditions around this time of year: our advent calendar, cookie backing, reading stories, hanging ornaments and retelling every story that goes with each one, seeing Christmas lights, watching movies and I'm sure there are some I'm forgetting to mention. So now, thanks to our friends who encouraged me to give it one more try - we celebrate a resurrected tradition! Merry Christmas to you and may you all enjoy the traditions of your family during your celebration of Christ's birth!

How Do You Hold A Baby?

Sweet baby Kyle (look at those lips)

"God must have said, I know what I'll do, I'll send my LOVE right down there where they are. And I'll send it as a tiny baby, so they'll have to touch it, and they'll have to hold it close." Gloria Gaither

I read this quote the other day during my devotions...and thought...brilliant!

Having twins meant when you came to visit, you held a baby...no matter how young or old you were. :) There is something about a baby...that makes you want to smell their little heads, hold them close to your heart, let them wrap their tiny fingers around your finger. 

Baby "B" for my precious Brendan!

 This time of year we celebrate the birth of one special baby...Jesus.

My sweet friend Janet...look at the joy on her face!

Interesting how we only think of Jesus as a baby around this season. However, I think it is appropriate that most of the time..we dwell on Him as our Savior, the One who came to die for us; as our King, the One who continues to protect us and who will come again; and as our Lord, the One who deserves our worship!

My precious sister in Christ - Karen...the look of contentment and joy!

So, when I read that quote, I thought of all the people who held my babies. The smiles on their faces reflect some joy that is found from within. How would you have held the Christ Child?

Our very special Grandma Carole...joy, love, peace...

Up close, out at arms length, up to your chest, by your cheeks? It is hard to say. The real question is how do you hold Him today? Up close, out at arms length, cheek to cheek?

My boys at Christmas at 2001 - look at those faces! Kissable!

I believe the truth remains no matter what...when you hold the Lord close, spend time with Him, talk with Him...there is a joy and contentment that comes from within. Maybe that is the true key...holding Him close. I pray you hold Him close this Christmas...and until He comes again.

Joy To The World

Honoring our Pop...missing him this Christmas!

I'm about to open the blinds into my soul once again. The email response and discussions I received from my writing about pre-menopause reminds me that I am not alone. However, my personal encounters with people this week made me realize that great need for joy certainly transcends the affects of menopause.

In light of what has recently happened in our world, the tragedy of Newtown CT, the lack of words are only shadowed by the shed of tears of grief. Yet we sing the song, Joy to the World. Remember, joy is possible...because the Lord has come. (OH He is coming again...and for that the Spirit and the Bride...say COME!)

The most recent affects of my body going through a change that occurs around my age has been somewhat physical, but mostly emotional/mental. I am watching my symptoms very closely, keenly aware..yet somehow unable to stop them.

Yesterday we took this pie to a dear sweet woman. She struggles with her health and thus with her emotions. I understand, to a degree. She told me her friends are afraid that she is depressed...she won't admit that...she is "just sad" she says.

Needless to say the special delivery and our extended visit certainly brought cheer to her heart. We left her laughing and promising to see her at the end of the week. She was at a point just a week ago...just wanting to "Go Home"..not wanting people to fuss over her, not wanting to see anyone, go anywhere, do anything. But the Lord has come.

We spoke of my latest symptoms (with the hope that she would share what is going on in her psyche). The feeling of not being able to recover...both physically (like when I was sick with the flu) and emotionally. While months ago something could happen and I would let it roll, and move on. Now when something happens, I'm disappointed or disapproving I can't seem to let it go as easily. My recovery time...is so much greater. That is SO frustrating - after all, I live in a world of pre-pubescent boys and a husband who sleeps during the day and works when I'm sleeping...there is lots of room for disappointment.

The other symptom I'm noticing besides the occasional hot flash is feeling paralzyed. I can't seem to accomplish the things I use to accomplish. Kind of like attention deficit I guess. I will start out in my mind thinking I'm going to accomplish this list of things...and be very fortunate to get one or two things done. Again...not me at all!

Then there is the weepy thing. UGH! Enough is enough. I weep when I'm happy, sad or sometimes over absolutely nothing at all.

Then just today, this morning a woman called me, someone who read my previous blog and on her way to work, she needed someone to pray with her. She too is experiencing similar symptoms. She just wants to hide, withdraw, she feels like she can't recover from her emotions.

I am aware that our Creator, the one that formed us in our mother's womb, did not make a mistake. I am certain that when we are feeling this way, whether it is from menopause, depression or anxiety...if we spend time with our Maker...he will help us stay centered. Remind us that we are created in His image....He did not make a mistake. Sometimes this world marks us, harms us, dents us...but our Creator...he knows how to fix us, heal us, polish us. 

So, I centered myself once again on scripture. The one thing that is an anchor, dependable and true.
1 John 17:13 "But now I am coming to you, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have my joy fulfilled in themselves." 

Joy you see is a fruit of the Spirit. Not something we work for...it is just there for us, accessible, no matter what is going on in our world, lives or others' lives. It is because He has come...the glory of His righteousness and the wonders of His Love. I think the more I center on that...the more joy I begin to feel. So...Joy To The World...and yes...The Spirit and The Bride say...COME LORD JESUS!

Mother Teresa said it best...

"The coming of Jesus at Bethlehem brought us joy to the world and to every human heart. May His coming this Christmas bring to each one of us that peace and joy that He desires to give!"

He Is Just Misunderstood

My precious boy..and the bird we rescued!

My emotions have been all over the place today. I know it is probably pre-menopause for the most part, but I have laughed hard today and even cried a little. I felt blah then amazing. I felt like a failure and then a winner. Crazy what one day can bring.

Kyle and his snickerdoodles!

My friend Allison has planned our Homeschool Christmas party for tomorrow..and one of the things she encouraged us to do is bake cookies together with our children (thank you for that Allison). I love to bake!! I love to bake with my boys. However, my sweet and precious Kyle has never shown an interest in baking. He would rather draw, play legos, make paper airplanes....700 of them. He is such a sweet and wonderful boy...it is over him that I wept today. Tonight as he mixed his ingredients..he was very awkward. I noticed, he didn't stand right...this is not his thing. I gave him the scoop to scoop out the dough and for the life of him he couldn't figure out how to squeeze it so the dough would drop off. I demonstrated it about 5 times...I watched him struggle...I got all choked up.  I told him, how much I loved baking with him tonight. I held his hands in mine and squeezed the scoop..and out plopped the ball of dough. He was so excited...like the first time he learned to use the water fountain. Everything to Kyle is....amazing!

Always so genuinely thankful - he loves nutcrackers!

Coming home from the park one day, Kyle's twin brother says to me..."Mom, I think that Kyle is just misunderstood by people. They don't understand his ways." OH that weighed heavy on my heart.

Toilet paper contest at Grapple!

 When he was very young, before he had words (he didn't speak on his own until he was 3 years old), when he was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (Pervasive Developmental Disorder) PDD-NOS I wanted to wear a shirt that said...please don't mind him...he's on the spectrum.

What he does with his legos...He made Cruella DeVille and some dalmatians.

 I tossed and turned about how to explain him, if I should bother explaining him. How do I explain him? Well, he is precious beyond words. He is honest and good. He has an innocent heart, one that cares deeply for all things. He loves animals and art and adores nutcrackers. He genuinely cares about people. He loves God...and really really knows Jesus. He prays like nobody's business. He sees what nobody else notices! He cares about the details!

"Oh how embarrassing" His love/hate relationship with the Paparazzi!

He use to stand on his head in new situations. No, I'm serious, that is not a figure of speech. When Kyle was uncomfortable, for many years he wore a batman mask. Yes, even to sing in the children's choir. He did grow out of that and moved on to carrying a magna doodle with him...so he can draw...when he was uncomfortable. A few years back..the boy would stand on his head..it is quite impressive. He was warming up to different situations and people by showing his talent. Now he carries a composition notebook..it helps to keep him centered.

I just had to show the detail!

 He can be very "silly", seem immature, say things just a little differently. It is his way of making his world seem...safe..when he feels out of his comfort zone. He is funny and his is very polite. Many people, many children have said unkind things to him. I think Brendan is right...he is just misunderstood.

I love this boy, his heart, his face...every single thing about him!

So..tonight as I stood by him at the table, we talked. I told him how much I loved him. How special it was for me to have him join me in something I absolutely love to do. I told him that he has enriched my world so much. He looked at me...right in my eyes (he didn't do that when he was 3 years old)..with that gorgeous smile and said "Mom, I want to be wherever you are...always. You know, you are beautiful Mom...and I love you!" I hugged him...he in his green apron, me in mine! You know what I don't care if you don't understand my Kyle. I don't care if he annoys you with his "oddness". This boy shows me Jesus...every single day! I sit here right now..with tears..running down my face..because I'm the one that is blessed. He belongs to me. Yes, he has challenges. He doesn't know everything a boy his age should know. I don't care. He knows how to love...how to treat people with respect...how to touch your heart. He's mine...misunderstood or not...his brothers, his Dad and I understand.

Thank you Lord for giving Kyle to us. May we do right by you Jesus in the way we continue to raise this boy. May you fashion him and perfect him to do whatever it is you have planned for him. May he continue to have your heart Lord...and shine Jesus wherever he goes!

Christmas Heritage Part I

Starting the day after Thanksgiving we begin our series of traditions for Christmas or the Advent. I'm not sure why this part is so important to me, perhaps it is because I lost my parents at a young age and it was challenging to hold onto traditions. Nonetheless, they are important, whether they are passed down from generation to generation or not, these are the memories I know my children will hold dear.

It starts with the trimming of the tree. Since Mike and I were married in December, for my bridal shower my friends and family showered me with a wishing well full of ornaments..special ornaments, and every year on our anniversary, we would purchase one as a memory. Our first tree was beautiful, it included all those ornaments, plus all the ones Mike had received every Christmas since the time he was born. His Mom made, or purchased an ornament every year for him...so he had a box of 25 ornaments plus some special family heirlooms to hang on our first tree.

The point is, every ornament has a story and every year those stories are told. For example, I have always loved music...so my mother-in-law hand made our wedding favors (like the one above) and included instruments. I loved being able to give an ornament as a wedding favor...every year I have a friend tell me she has hung her ornament on her tree and she prays for us each time...that was 21 years of hanging that one ornament and praying for my marriage. Pretty amazing.

Then throughout the years we've received some pretty special ornaments from friends and family, I can still tell you (even when they are not labeled with names) who gave each ornament to each person.

Some were from my students from when I was a teacher, so many of them now are ones that my children have made and it is so much fun remembering the stories behind each one.

Some brought tears to our eyes this year because of loved ones that have gone and won't be here to celebrate this year. But in the end, it is precious to recall the special people and moments in our lives..much like laying down of stones to remember our past and what God has done. Every year a different child get to place the angel on the top...this year as you can see from the first picture..it was Shane...they consider it such an honor. :)

Ahhh, the finished product. My favorite part is when we all come in from looking outside our window and we sit down in the peaceful room and there is always a hush of awe...I love that part. If I could capture that in a little time capsule I would. Quietly listening to the VonTrapp Family singers or Bing Crosby as we stare at the tree...it is beautiful.

 The other traditions that we have are just as fun...we try to read a Christmas book every day,

 Do a fun little Christmas devotion, and yes, there is the musical advent calendar. I think this might be on its last legs. A precious family gave this to us when it was the twins first Christmas. We have used it ever since...it kind of drives my husband bonkers because the sound quality is really shot, but we love it!

We hang the adorenaments...love this too. I wonder if my children will ever get too old for this stuff...I just wonder.

Finally, this is another tradition...baking cookies. This year I only made 2 cookies that I "traditionally" make...the rest were new recipes and I even created my own for one of the cookies. We delivered 8 trays of cookies and sang carols at every door. Next year...Shane really wants to deliver more..not sure how I'm going to accomplish that. We are all out of cookies...its a good thing we have a birthday party for Jesus on Christmas Eve...we make cupcakes for that.

There are more traditions that we try to hold onto, watching Christmas movies, having Starbucks and looking at Christmas lights and of course more to follow on Christmas Eve..which is why I had to bang out this blog before Christmas Eve...that is a whole blog of its own.