How He Loves Me!

I did what I always do. Wake up and run to Jesus. It's our special time..every day. Today was not suppose to be any different. My internal clock had me awake at 5:30am, I take my place in our designated spot and begin to pray. Oh how I love Him too!!

What happened next could have made me feel horrible. Could have had me feeling behind and guilty today, but oh the contrary. As I began to pray...

That is all I can remember. Suddenly I open my eyes and its 7:00am. What? I didn't read my Bible, I didn't pray...what? I must have fallen asleep! I cannot remember the last time I've done that!

However, none of that went through my mind. NOPE! I felt such peace! I know I spent time in His presence. In fact, I woke up and felt as if I was in His very arms. I felt as though He gently caressed my hair and rubbed His hands on my cheek and whispered "Oh How I love you!" over and over again....like I do my boys sometimes. So peaceful, such a gentle touch the Father has!

Instead of feeling like one of the disciples who fell asleep at the Garden, I felt like sleep was exactly what He wanted me to have this morning..and He lovingly bestowed it upon me! What an overwhelming sense of His peace. When we rest in His lap we can't help but have peace...He is the Prince of Peace after all!

Do I have a lot to do today? Yes. It has been one of the busiest weeks ever...but I'm not in a rush (I'm writing this aren't I). He will accomplish what He desires in me and through me today!

So I begin my day, with His scent still on me! His mercy rests upon my heart and soul and today will be a wonderful day! I can't wait to spend some more time with Him. It makes you long for more! How He loves me...and I love Him too.

It's no surprise that I woke with this song in my head!

An Encounter With Hope!

It was almost a year ago when I posted about My Little Man With a Big Heart. I realized that he may potentially have a calling on his life and it was important for me to foster that. So we ended up seeking a way that we can be a light in our community. For just about a year now we've been helping, along with others, serve food to the hungry once a month - see this post. We have developed amazing relationships and deep love for these people. Then several months ago our children's director at our church asked us to help pilot this missions minded project called Mission Possible. Of course then I Left My Heart In Eustis...yes...I pray for those children every single day. All of this, coupled with the fact that I'm working on memorizing the book of James and doing Beth Moore's Study Mercy Triumphs and a large part of James regards our heart for the lost, the poor, the widows, the orphans. Well, the only surprise today was that it was Monday as we normal try to devote Wednesdays to really focus on what God would have us do, how He would have us pray for the lost in our community and in our world. Actually, I love when God interrupts our plans, because His are always better.

So on with it Lisa! Today we had to go to the library to begin our research papers. Since I'm working on getting fit..and possibly thinking of a Triathlon (shhhh..I haven't announced that officially -- you know that means on Facebook right?) I figured I'm gonna ride my bike whenever I can..since I'm already running and then we just have to work on swimming. I digress. We ride our bikes (we meaning my superheros and I). Get to the library and get our books only to find that my one son's back tire is flatter than flat. There is no way he is going to make it another 2.2 miles home..just walking. So I pull out my phone and begin to make the phone calls. Two of my friends have no car, one was apparently mowing his lawn and numerous people didn't answer the phone. Hmmm?

There she was....having a bad day. So Kyle decides that maybe if he gave her a magazine it would make her smile. She smiled as she sat on the bench next to mine. She had grabbed some guy to come and tie her shoes..I'm thinking because she was too strung out on drugs to do it. She talks to Kyle and says nice and loud, "Do you think we could ask your Mom if I could borrow her phone?" So I reply, "sure can I call someone for you." I am pretty sure that my children were watching this all go down...very carefully. "Well, I need to call it, I'm really a nice person, can I just use your phone..if anyone calls you back about your tire, I will give it back!" I hand her my phone. My one son says, so astutely, "Are you worried she might steal it?"

Well, yes, that thought crossed my mind for a moment. Then I remembered, everything is His anyway. She made a few phone calls and as I listened to bits of her conversations I realized her life is hard - possibly by her own bad decisions, possibly some challenges that have come her way for whatever reason...possibly both. It was my moment. I asked if everything was ok...she replied..."Oh you don't want to hear my sob story!" Well, actually, I'm pretty sure that I'm stranded here for that very reason...with all 3 of my superheros right next to me. "YES, I do...please tell me your story. Oh and I'm Lisa by the way!"

For the next hour we sat and talked. She confessed that she was living on the streets, poverty stricken, addicted to pain medication, stemming from an accident she had a few years back, had stolen from the dollar store, was 20 years old, had a 3 year old son and hated her life...all she wanted was a good night sleep. She had a fight with her Mom the night before and slept on her front porch. She was at her end and really didn't have hope.

Well, you could have blown me down with a feather! I'm teaching on Hope at Bagels & Blessings (I have been for the past year...my final B&B for this season is...Saturday). He is our Hope! We talked about the local shelters, food pantries...etc. I was about to ask her if I could pray for her...so I said..."I wish I could do more, but can I...(and before I could get the rest of the words out she cried..."can you pray for me?" I was just about to say that. I asked if she had a relationship with Jesus. We went through the ABCs of salvation. She prayed that prayer with me. Then I began to hold her and pray over her as she wept in my arms right there on the curb of the library.

She couldn't stop crying. I just sat and held her hand, and put my arm around her. Sometimes you just need someone to put your arm around you. Finally someone came to pump Kyle's tire and she knew I didn't have much time to get home before it would go flat again. She asked me why my children were not in school and I told her I  homeschooled. She asked if I might teacher her math so she could pass her GED. "If I could get my GED maybe my life would be different!" I gave her my number and told her I would do it. I would teach her what she needed to pass the GED. We embraced. She told my kids to "Stay away from drugs!" ;) and off we went.

Kyle: "Mom, you gave her Jesus today!" WOW - I'm often shocked at his abilities (being my boy on the spectrum)!

When we got home my Shane had lots of questions about what she talked about. Abuse, drugs, homelessness..."Mom, what if she has to sleep on the streets tonight can we bring her some food?" YES!

I made lunches for everyone including our new friend. We drove it to the library. Peanut butter and jelly, an apple, banana, and orange, some peeps and other candy and a bottle of water. It really was all I had..it was what my children ate too. She saw me, my boy hands her the bag and I tell her..."Lunch. Because we love you and want you to remember how much you are loved by the Hope of this world...Jesus!" She was so thankful. Her friend was there now too. She asked if I could pray for her too. Of course! They both cried. She looked up at her friend and she said..."I want to go to Lisa's church...I want to turn my life around!" She hugged me and told me I was an angel. I reminded her that no...I was a girl..just like her...saved by Grace. I asked her to just think about what we had prayed about...and consider this a gift of love from Jesus, the One who Loves you just as you are..and longs to rescue you..if you allow Him to.

I don't know if I will ever see her again. Possibly, this could be her story...ten years from now. I know one thing for sure. She had an encounter with Jesus today...and so did we.

Mercy

I am so thankful that I have a teachable spirit. I didn't always want to be learning the lessons the hard way, but I'm just glad, really glad that I can learn them nonetheless.

It was a rough week here at the Engel homeschool. Brendan had testing this week. He absolutely LOVED it! (He is my child...I always loved standardized testing too)! I had the opportunity to proctor the exam for the 4-6th graders for three days and Brendan had a chance to take the exam for 2nd grade. He had never tested before....we are not obligated to do any testing of our children when we homeschool, but as I told Brendan...it is more for me to see if my curriculum is doing the job that needs to be done. (So in theory Brendan thought he was taking this test to see how Sonlight was doing in our home). ;) Well, after the first four hours of testing, he came running to find me..."Mom, I can't wait to come back tomorrow, this was SO much fun!" Ahhh...he loves to be tested! He finished his 3 day exam in 2 days and can't wait to do it again next year!

Well, needless to say, after testing and getting up very early, he probably deserved a break from reading, writing, history, math lessons this week....but NO, Brendan's Mom can be...ummm...a little inflexible sometimes when it comes to getting in the school time. I probably crammed too many things in the last two days of the week...he was just exhausted. If you were in close proximity to my home you might be able to hear someone humming the tune "So, I had a bad day..." and it would have been Brendan! OH my he was off today. A little talking back, a little whiny, a little disobedient...need I say more. So, at the end of the day, I had no choice but to stick to my guns and take away a few things and change his afternoon plans.

Each time I called him to the carpet he would say, "OH I am soooo sorry Mom!...I don't want to be this way!" "Please forgive me!" My first response was..."I do forgive you, but you cannot go on the computer today." That was just the first thing. By the end of the afternoon, I had to resort to changing his afternoon plans. "Sorry son, but you obviously don't understand how this behavior is just not acceptable." Mind you, Brendan is my most obedient child, rarely gets into any trouble, and is always very willing to repent and seek forgiveness. He is the pleaser of the bunch! So, he explained to me, through his tears that he just doesn't understand..."I really don't want to be this way...really! I'm trying to do what is right, but I just don't!" (Can you hear the apostle Paul in Romans 7:15 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.")

At this point I had no choice but to take him in my arms and tell him I thought we just needed to pray. This is his beautiful prayer, cried out to Jesus in the arms of his mother: "Dear Jesus, please forgive me. I am such a sinner! I don't want to sin and be disrespectful to my Mom, I know that breaks your heart Jesus. Please forgive me and wash my heart clean and help me not to be this way anymore...I really want a good attitude. In Jesus name, Amen." This is what I prayed, with tears streaming down my face, being held by my 7 year old son: "Heavenly Father, please forgive me. I am not a perfect parent, forgive me if I have been too hard on my boy today. If I in any way crushed his spirit, please mend it quickly. He is far too precious of a gift to me. Lord your word says that when we need wisdom we are to just ask for it, so I ask for your wisdom Lord. Help me, help my son. I thank you Lord that you are with us right now, in this moment holding both of us. Teach us both to be more like you in everything we say and do and in how we act. We want you Jesus, we just want you! Thank you Lord for my sweet Brendan and may he continue to grow in his faith in you! Such a gift you gave to me in this 7 year old boy! Now lift up our heads Father and restore a joyful heart in both of us! In Jesus name we pray...Amen!"

I just held him after that and we exchanged our love for each other. Shortly after this, we went to pick up Kyle. When Kyle got into the car, Brendan felt the need to tell Kyle that he had a bad day...he was disrespectful, talking back to Mommy, not listening....I pulled the car over and turned around and looked right into those blue eyes and said: "Brendan, you know that you don't have to go over all those things that you did right? You don't have to worry about those things anymore, because when we repent and ask Jesus to forgive us, he doesn't remember those things anymore! He doesn't keep of record of wrong doing!..You are forgiven!" He knew that he had been told that before, but he just couldn't really believe it...afterall...who "really" forgets? When we got home, I knew the Lord spoke to my heart about Brendan's afternoon plans. One word spoken very clearly in the quiet place of my heart....Mercy! Oh when we not only don't get what we deserve, but we get something even more special! MERCY!

I got Brendan to the side before we got into the house and whispered this to him: "I have called your friend's Mom and she is bringing him over today." He looked at me with huge eyes...questioning..but not verbalizing the question. I simply smiled at him and said...."Mercy sweet boy...mercy." He hugged me and thanked me! Isn't that exactly what Christ does for us! We see more Mercy than we do consequences. When we deserve to suffer the consequences of our wrong doing...He, more times that we know, shows up with one word..."Mercy"! Thank you Father for your Mercy!