Special Times For My Special Guy!

The summer is a time for things to grow! My grass needs to be cut every single week...or we are in up to our knees! My son Kyle has had a growth filled summer as well. Summertime has always been a challenge for Kyle because he thrives on routine. Being on the "Spectrum" obviously adds challenges to his daily life, more than anyone would know! He is a fun loving, funny little guy with a sensitive spirit and a beautiful heart, but what he must overcome on a daily basis would exhaust me, emotionally and physically.

It usually takes about a month before he stops asking the question, "Is it school today?" Then when he is not asking that question, we know that we have "detoxed" him from that routine. However, he is constantly searching for consistency in his day. Well, we are far from consistent here...especially in the summer. Children come and visit all the time, we are beaching, or swimming, or visiting or whatever, and sometimes we don't even know until that day what we will be doing. Craziness for someone like Kyle. So needless to say, he has had some serious challenges. He acts out a lot in anger/frustration. What will happen is this: Kyle will start to sing a song or behave a certain way to entertain and make his audience laugh. Well, it is cute the first 15 times, but then, after about 100 times of hearing the same song or seeing the same behavior....it is NOT FUNNY any more...to any one! Children have a far less level of tolerance for this type of thing (I, being his Mother and knowing his "issues" can tolerate it a bit longer). Then the natives get annoyed and the fighting commences. You here kids shouting "KYLE STOP IT!!! YOU ARE ANNOYING...GO AWAY!!!" His brothers don't do this regularly because they are use to him as well, but if another child starts in on Kyle...his brothers will agree!

We have had many, many, many tears! I have talked with him. "Kyle, people don't like it when you do this 100 times in a row, it is really annoying!....No one thinks you are funny right now....you are not going to be able to keep friends if you continue this..." You get the idea?

Because he struggles socially, it is really hard for him to get that!! He doesn't know when to stop...he doesn't catch the social cues like average children do.

All this to say, he finally had a moment of clarity. Kyle went on his first sleepover, by himself! HUGE deal. Shane & Brendan have both had sleepovers....Kyle NEVER! This was one of the most precious moments I have witnessed with my boy.

We are all set to go to our friends home where his friend Sammy (5 years old) is anxiously awaiting Kyle's arrival. We get into the car and you can tell Kyle had been rehearsing this event in his head for awhile. He says to me, "Mom, I'm not going to sing that song anymore and I will only save my kisses for my Mom and Dad...I don't want to be annoying...I'm a big boy and want to be a good friend." He heard everything I said this summer. When we arrive at the Dinardi's home everyone was waiting outside to greet him. "HI KYLE!!!".. Kyle in the car says to me..."Mom, should I put my backpack on now?" So adorable...you see his need for routine. We get out and he walks up and says this..."Hello everyone, it is so good to see you all today." My eyes just got all welled up with tears. My precious boy...has been working on this for awhile now. Again, because of his social deficits, he has to work very hard to communicate in a way he feels is acceptable. He is the most polite boy I know....far more than my other children who I must constantly remind..."say thank you...what do you say?" Well, his sleepover was an amazing success! The Dinardis tell us that he can come anytime! Here are that happy friends!

I DID IT!

My first 5K ever! Started training way back in May for this event! The New Bridge of Lions 5K Run in St. Augustine Florida. It was amazing! I was very excited leading up to the night before. When I picked up my packet, I started feeling intimidated. Here were the questions (and some of the lies) streaming through my head..."What was I thinking?" "Seriously, these people are in so much better shape....who am I to do this?"...I even asked my husband if he would be disappointed if I didn't go through with it! He said this "I would never be disappointed, but I know you will be and I know you can do this NO PROBLEM!" Well, I shed a few tears the night before, but got my buttocks out there bright and early the next morning. Here are a few pics! (The picture above is me in front of the Castillo De San Marcos National Monument in the oldest city in the United States of America, St. Augustine Florida) The above picture is all that needs to be packed for an overnighter without children! Seriously...that is all that Mike & I packed!

Me the morning of my race!

Me thinking Mike was on his way to the finish line! I was sweating already and hadn't even started running yet! Twenty minutes before I'm to begin and I just said a word of thanks to the Lord for taking me this far on my journey to lose weight!

The new (temporary) Bridge of Lions!

The starting line! Approximately 500 people out to support the Louis Argitis Foundation for Challenged Children! How exciting!

I was dripping with sweat! But knew I didn't have much further to go! I am proud that I ran the entire first mile and a little of the second...then I power walked through most of the second mile...but that last mile...I ran!

With my eye on goal...

I sprinted the last 1/4 mile through the finish line! That felt amazing!

I am so red! Sun burn and seriously hot! It was 89 degrees with 95% humidity! I don't usually run when the sun is up and shining so strongly! The Florida sun is a killer! I think that is why I didn't beat my 38 minutes because I had to slow it down to get a drink at the second mile marker! (I never had to do that while practicing)! No big deal I am just glad I did it! Those are not two threes in this picture -- I'm holding up two "Ws" for Weight Watchers. Six months ago I was 40 lbs heavier and unmotivated to exercise! Today I ran a 5K in 4o minutes! Thank You Lord!

Focusing on the Negative..Why?

What is it with us...humans? Why do we have the inclination to focus on the negative? I'm thinking that part of it is sometimes it is what we are used to, so we are comfortable listening to it, speaking it and sadly at times believing it.

My son Brendan is away at camp this week. I have noticed that whenever Brendan is gone for any length of time I begin to see Kyle's (Brendan's twin brother) abilities more clearly as opposed to seeing is disabilities glaring at me! I think because Brendan is so different than Kyle, he is responsible, advanced and gifted in some areas, it almost creates a glaring contrast to all of Kyle's issues. (ie. his severe learning disability and his autistic tendencies)! So it is a nice reprieve to see Kyle and Shane together and Kyle begins to shine in his abilities!

This morning he woke up on the "wrong" side of the bed. I got home from my morning run and I found three little boys (we have a friend sleeping over this week) sitting on the couch and Kyle is already grumpy! (This is 7:30am folks, and they had been at it since 6:30am--according to my husband who couldn't wait to get to work!) HA!

Kyle quickly jumped up to tell me that Shane and his friend were "saying mean things to me...and I've wrote them all down!" I wanted to smile. This from a boy who a year ago couldn't write anything legibly, phonetically or otherwise! So he brought me a stack of papers with at least 15 sheets of negative comments made by Shane and his friend directed towards Kyle. Here is a picture of just a few:
Allow me to interpret: "See this red thing...I'm going to rip it!", "Blah blah blah...I can't see you!" those where quotes from Shane, but as you can see there were many others.

Here is my conversation with my Kyle: "Honey, why are you wasting all of this precious paper on negative comments?" "So I can remember them." "Well, why would you want to remember something that hurts you?" "So I can remember why I am mad at them and remind them of what they said that hurt me when they want to be nice and get something from me!" (Seriously, I wonder if he is really "special needs"! HA!)

You see, there is no hope of getting over this when all we do is repeat all the negative things people say or the lies the enemy may try to tell us. We just sit and hold on to all of this nastiness and it festers like an infected wound making us more and more sick.

Romans 12:1-2 says: Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

It is true that God's thoughts and ways are not those of the natural person. But human minds and hearts can be renewed and transformed by seeking Him; then our thoughts and ways will begin to conform to His. Our greatest desire should be to so live in conformity and the likeness of our Lord that everything we do pleases the God we serve! I encourage you to read Romans 8 and James 1.

So I talked with Kyle and just started speaking truth over him. Reminding him how much he is loved, how precious he is to the Lord and to me, reminding him of the times that Shane shared with him and encouraged him. Then I got him to do this: Write down something positive Kyle--


He actually ended up having a very good day and the boys played very well together! Thank you Lord for giving us Your Word that is full of truth so we can combat all the untruth we swim in each day!

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Just A Quick Notable!

About a month ago a reporter from Moms Who Blog.com wrote to me and said she had been reading my blog for awhile and wanted to do a profile story of me. Well, Veronica did a great job...I am so blessed and honored to be chosen and wanted to share the article with you - all the people who keep reading what I write!!

The site is here: Moms Who Blog -- enjoy!

Veronica, if you are reading this...thank you!

Race Day Is Just Around The Corner!

I have been training for a few months now for my first 5K. I remember my first day out I thought I was going to die! Just up and down my street in a half hour. That was probably 1.5 miles. Twenty pounds lighter (a total of 40 lbs. since I joined Weight Watchers in January) I now go every morning (except Wednesdays) and walk/run this route: The Causeways

Do me a favor and click where it says hybrid and zoom in just a bit so you can appreciate how beautiful it is! It is a little over 4 miles long and when I go about 6:00am in the morning it is so beautiful to see the sun rise. I have been walking it with a new friend and she and I have just been having such great mornings sharing our testimony and giving glory to God. When I say it has been good for my body and my soul, I really mean it!

I have been training on the flat land of my neighborhood for so long, that since I have switched to bridges with an incline, my feet are not happy! Blisters!! Nice big blisters right under my big toes! (my cute little tan toes with pink polish...remember those from a few blogs back! -- very sore now!) This is mainly the reason why I needed a rest today. I'll be back on the bridges tomorrow with moleskin in my sneakers!

So next week, I am off to St. Augustine for the New Bridge of Lions! I am totally excited and exhilarated. I kind of wish it was a little bit earlier, because it gets very very hot in Florida after the sun rises, but I am prepared to sweat! My race begins at 7:30am. I will be going up the night before with my friend Lorrie and my husband and children will drive a little over an hour to get there before I cross the finish line! I told my husband he needs to have the camera in hand and ready! So any runners out there have any advice for a newbie...bring it on!

This weekend Mike & I are headed to Universal Studios. We received two FREE tickets! I LOVE FREE! So we are going...prepared to stand in line forever....(without having Kyle we have to wait like everyone else!). It will be our first time to Universal (we are Disney people), but this is very special...it's a date for just the two of us! Thank you to my dear friend Katie who offered to watch all of my boys all day! We are headed to Emeirl Legasse's Tchoup Chop for dinner (this will Mike's early birthday gift!) and a once in a lifetime treat!

Fun times are certainly ahead!

Enjoying Our Independence...

...while we still have it! Oh, just kidding (kind of )! I'm not going to get political, I just want to report that my family had a wonderful 4th of July with friends who have become like family to us! Dinner made by all of us...Dinardis (minus Dave...he was busy protecting Daytona Beach as one of their finest!), Bradleys & Engels (plus Pop)..traditional fare...burgers, hot dogs, potatoe salad, deviled eggs, veggies & dip, chips, watermelon, strawberry shortcake and chocolate strawberry trifle. Getting hungry?

Afterwards we head over to Bethune Beach..looks like our very own private beach huh?

The kids and I did this...until we felt like it might be feeding time for the sharks!

Then night fell and it was amazing. Fireworks everywhere! Right over our heads, all along the beach. It was like a private showing! I felt very patriotic and so excited about celebrating with our friends. Below is Elinor and I! She is sporting a very cool glow stick!

My camera cracks me up. When you shoot an evening picture you cannot see through the lens so I'm constantly cutting of heads! Here we are..Amy, myself and Linda! Between our families we have 9 children! I love it!

Don and Mike...good friends! No better way to spend the 4th (we missed our Mr. Dave though)

Enjoying the front seat view of all the fireworks. There was a lot of looking this way and then turning around and looking behind us too! It was fun!

And now, finally....our National Anthem sung by Amelia Bradely and Gabi Denardi!

Happy Birthday America!

I Found A Little "Me"

I have been serving in Vacation Bible School for years! Five years at this church, and at least 10 years at my other church. I have served in several different capacities, but always for the same reason. Seeing children come to know Christ and sharing the message of hope with them is the reason I serve all week at VBS every year.

Last year I wrote a blog about my friend Nellie. I got permission to write about her. This year the Lord placed a spot light on a different little girl. A girl who is in so many ways "me" 36 years ago. I don't really have permission to write about her, so I am not going to use her name. In light of the circumstances of her life, it is better off she be anonymous for this purpose. She is not and never will be anonymous to God or to me. Today, I told my story. I told the boys and girls that 36 years ago, I was sitting in the same kind of place they were sitting in today. Someone held up a storyboard and told a story of a little girl who had a Mom who was very sickly, and I saw that little girl kneeling beside her Mother praying. I identified with that little girl in the picture, and we were told that we could know Jesus personally and we could talk to Him, and He would answer us, He loved and cared for us, and He wants to be there for us. I still remember like it was yesterday. We sang Trust and Obey and then our leader asked if anyone wanted to ask Jesus to come into their hearts and be saved. I was the only person who ran down the isle. I needed Jesus, to save me and my very sick Mommy.

You can see my testimony here. I was a child who needed to be rescued in many ways. I told the boys and girls today bits and pieces of my story. When I finished I told them that I realized that many of these children have really great lives and my not see the need for a Savior (although we ALL need Him), but I also knew that there may be some like me, for whom life was hard and they desperately needed a hope! Either way, we live in a fallen world and why would we want to work so hard to get through this world without Jesus and have no reward in the end. If we ask Jesus to take up residence in our hearts, then we don't do life by ourselves and our reward is eternal life in Heaven with Him. I prayed a simple prayer with them and several people raised their hands to tell me that they had prayed that for the first time (approximately 32 children said they said that prayer for the first time).

When the bell went off to be dismissed a little girl came up to me, face flooded with tears and said these words: "I pray before I go to bed, but I never knew we needed to invite Jesus into our lives. I did that today for the first time." I cried, she cried...she continued to tell me that her Father just recently showed up in her life after being away for a very long time. Her parents are not together. She loves her Daddy, and now he wants to take her away from her Mommy. She loves her Mommy too. "They just don't get along, and I cry a lot at night! I am scared!"

I told her through my tears that she is not alone. She has invited Jesus into her heart and He will never leave her or turn His back on her. I told her how she needs to talk with Him all the time. When I was her age...I did just that! Sometimes you would find me under a table or a desk with my small New Testament talking to Jesus as I shook with fear at the circumstances around me. I needed her to know that even though she made this decision, Jesus didn't promise to keep her from all the scariness around her...her Daddy may still want to take her away & her Mommy & Daddy may continue to fight. Tough times may still be apart of her life, BUT, now she has a Rescuer. Jesus will be sure she makes it through those tough times and He knows everything she must endure and He will give her strength and wisdom beyond her years to get through the tough times. I told her my life was very very similar to hers and look at me today. Here I am, still loving Jesus, still holding on tight to Him, full of His joy and telling others about Him! I told her what she learned in VBS, that God is with us, God is powerful, God does what He says He will do, God gives us life, and God cares for us, is all very very true and she will probably see that to be very evident in her life! I told her that even after I said that same prayer, many things happened to me that I wouldn't wish on anyone, but GOD has always been my constant in an ever changing world! Even 36 years later!

We hugged each other for a little bit and she just cried in my arms. OH how my heart broke, but I know that this little girl was the one that God etched in my heart to never forget. Much like my Nellie (who, by the way, joined us again this year at VBS!) I vowed to Jesus to intercede on her behalf. I may never know what happens to her, but I know this, that I gently laid her in the palm of my Abba Father, and I know He will take very good care of her!

Lord, thank you for this precious little life. A little "me" from so long ago. Lord, you are a faithful God and you care deeply for your children. Watch over this child for me. Bring her parents to a saving knowledge of You! May her world be changed forever because of her decision to follow you. Father place in her life people who will disciple her and teach her how to read her Bible and pray. May she learn songs to sing to you and sing them often. As she goes through life, may she always be aware of Your hand of protection in her life as it was in mine! As the tears flow from my eyes right now Jesus, because part of me wants to tuck this child in tonight, please please tuck her in for me. Cover her, place your angels in charge over her and minister to her body, mind and spirit! May she always know how much she is loved by you!

This Is Why I Do VBS!!!

It is VBS week at our church this week. My kids talk about Vacation Bible School all day long! I love VBS. It is my time to give back to the Lord after all that He had done for me as a child. He rescued me when I was 7 years old! I love these kids!

We are only two days into it, but clearly Kyle's got a grasp of the truth! This is my Kyle...yes he is on the "spectrum", yes he has his "special issues", but man...this boy loves the Lord! He wrote and sang the song above before he went to sleep tonight! He really gets it! Thank you Jesus!

Shhhh...Listen Up

We live in a very busy, highly technical, loud world! Unless of course you are Amish or live in the country or just practice that laid back lifestyle. I don't really know what that is like. I used to live 10 minutes from New York City...the busiest place I know, when I moved to Florida I thought, life quieted down. It has a little, but not really. I am convinced that it just follows me. This week I am purposefully practicing slowing down. I need quiet time. Before I had children Mike and I would just sit and read for hours at night. Not so much anymore. Unless I'm reading to my children, I'm usually cleaning up, doing laundry, bathing children, doing bills, and the TV is usually on. UGH! By the time my boys are in bed there is still the every 15 minute check on them until the last one falls asleep and then finally, I have some time & I'm exhausted!

That is why I practice this: Psalm 5:3 "In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." For me, it is necessary...up before the family = quiet time!

You know why quiet is necessary? In 1 Kings 19 you read about Elijah, the prophet. To encourage and strengthen Elijah's faith, God visited him on Mout Horeb (ironically enough that mountain means mountain of revelation, cool huh?)! This is what happened:

"v.11-12: Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave."

This visitation was accompanied by a great wind, earthquake and fire, but the Lord was in none of those events. Instead, God's revelation came in the form of a "gentle whisper." Elijah learned that God's work proceeds and advances "Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit," says the Lord Almighty" (Zec. 4:6). God had in fact not deserted his prophet or his faithful people. By his Spirit and eternal work, he would bring redemption, righteousness and eternal salvation.

Seriously, I don't know about you, but I need to hear from God. It is essential to my life...like breathing in and out!

Do you wonder sometimes if your prayers are hitting the ceiling and not reaching Heaven? Have you been so busy with life that you can't hear the Lord clearly? Do you feel anxious, worried, frustrated?

Wait quietly in His presence while His thoughts form silently in the depths of your soul. Do not try to rush that process, because hurry keeps our hearts earthbound! He is the Creator of the entire universe, yet He chooses to make His humble home in our hearts. It is there where we can know Him most intimately; it is there where He speaks to us in holy whispers. Let's remember to ask the Holy Spirit to quiet our minds so that we can hear His still, small voice within us. After all, what He says will make a difference. He speaks words of Life...Peace...Love. Ahhh...that is the way I want to start every single day!

Tan Skin & Pink Toes

This is my favorite week of the summer so far! Just me and my boys, relaxing by the pool. Reading good books, playing Legos & learning to swim in the deep end!

Here are a few shots of our relaxing week!
If my family reads this blog...the picture above is very cool! Kyle has finally learned to swim in the deep end. Actually I think that he has always had the ability, but not the courage....the difference is the goggles! I had him try to swim without them and sure enough, he will not open his eyes under water...so he had a lump the size of an egg on his head from smashing into the side of the pool!
The boys are in the pool for about 5 hours a day...at least! They just love it! When they get out, I get in and do some laps! In the meantime...I relax in the sun and shade with a book!

He is such a cutie!
Tan Skin...pink toes!

How To Keep Cool & Stick To Your Diet at Disney

We had a wonderful day in the Magic Kingdom for the twins birthday. They got the royal treatment! It was a Friday and it was 95 degrees. Why is it important that I share those two details? Well, I weigh in at Weight Watchers on Saturdays and it was ridiculously hot outside (hence the title of this blog!). I didn't want to register a gain on the scale the next day so I had to be very careful not to splurge in the land of milk & honey!

Here we are on the boat to the magic Kingdom, after our pep talk about going slow and keeping cool!

So the recipe to keeping cool in the dead of summer at Disney goes like this:

ride Splash Mountain (get soaked) then ride Thunder Mountain (get dried), then repeat 4 times. Splash Mountain, Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain....Great Fun! (By the way, just a plug for Disney. If you have a child with special needs, they give you a pass to get on everything without the wait! Thank you Disney for blessing us!) Then Kyle discovered this: A fountain in front of the First Aid Station. Yes we ended up in the First Aid. Shane sliced the skin right off of his finger and it wouldn't stop bleeding. Fun!

The other way to stay cool is to go into all of the air conditioned attractions. Here are my boys preparing to get their permit to carry a weapon!

And here we are purchasing hats...the gifts shops are freezing cold!

Then of course there is always this:

This is not Weight Watcher friendly, so I set out to find something cool and refreshing and free (free as in the value of points on Weight Watchers). Where there is a will...there is a way!

Chilled (packed in Ice) Sour Dill Pickles...YUMMO! I love pickles and yes they are free on Weight Watchers and only $ .95...so we purchased a few for the road! This little stand in Liberty Square sells fresh fruit, veggies and ice cold pickles!

So there we are above...staking our spot for the fire works and evening light show...soaking wet from, you guessed it Splash Mountain! We had a wonderful magical day. My kids were amazing, we were there for 12 hours straight! We just love Disney. We miss having our Annual Passes, but we enjoy it every time we go!

Kyle and Brendan both agreed: This was the best birthday EVER!

The Umbrella God Gave Me

Almost 20 years ago God gave me an umbrella and I am so thankful!

An umbrella according to Webster is the following:

1. A device for protection from the weather consisting of a collapsible, usually circular canopy mounted on a central rod. (Ok we get this one!)

2. a. Something that covers or protects. b. Air cover, especially during a military operation. (both a. & b. very good - I'll be focusing on this one!)

3. Something that encompasses or covers many different elements or groups. (& this one too - interesting)

4. Zoology :The gelatinous, rounded mass that is the major part of the body of most jellyfish. (I had to keep this in here...this was new to me! :))

It is not uncommon for me to be in my car waiting for the rain to let up just a little so I can run to my destination without getting soaked. Where is that umbrella? Oh, in my closet or in the trunk of my car! Been there before? Well, I learned very early never to be out and about without that special umbrella that God gave me 20 years ago!

When I say that I am thankful for this umbrella, I know that particular word does not do justice to how my heart overflows with gratitude. While we live in a fallen world it is impossible to dodge all "inclement" situations. It could be too much sun (and boy did I wish I had an umbrella yesterday at the beach..I am burned to a crisp today!). It could be pouring down rain! Both of which, if caught without your umbrella, can leave you feeling miserable. Think about those moments in life when you are caught in a storm. It could be finances, relationships, illnesses, stress, anxiety....all very inclement wouldn't you agree?

Twenty years ago God gave me an umbrella that I was to have and to hold till death do us part! That would be my husband. What attracted him to me when we first met 20 years ago (we will be married 19 years in December) was his heart for God and his love and passion to see people come to Jesus. Twenty years ago I served on a campus ministry team with this very wise man with a passion for Christ! His knowledge, understanding, and love of the Word of God, and his desire to serve God with all of his heart stood out among all others in my world! He is my umbrella. I learned very early on in my marriage to allow him that role that God gave him in my life and it has served me well. He is my protector, my coverage, and I am thankful that he is wise! That is why when women snicker about submission, I know they must not really understand what it means. Simply put (and believe me I can write a whole other blog about that subject alone) it just means standing under that umbrella that God gave you! For me, as I sit with my skin as hot as can be from sunburn, (who knew you could get burned even though you had a great tan already!?) I sit thankful for the umbrella God gave me in a Godly husband. We hold each other accountable to be students of the Word and we pray together and for each other! I love my umbrella & he is never stuck in my car trunk or in my closet! Thank you Lord for my handsome umbrella!

Shhhh....It's a Sneak Peek!

Today is my twins 8th birthday! I have mentioned several times about the books that we get them instead of cards. We write a very meaningful and heartfelt letter in the front cover of their books with memories of the past year, and prayers for this coming one. Well, I just finished their books while they are still sleeping I thought I would give you a sneak peek.

You can see that only Kyle & Brendan get the books today...Shane will get his on Tuesday! Each boy however, is receiving a new Tee Shirt because...well...because we are going to Disney World! If it is your birthday you get to go to Disney for FREE!! So we get 2 for FREE today! (So Shane's little card says..."Because we love you Shane!" and he gets a shirt too.)

More on the book choices when I get their reaction on camera! Both of these books are amazing (and really so perfect for this past year and what my children have been asking, experiencing and dreaming about lately!) I can't wait for them to wake up....well, actually...I need to go to sleep and pray they sleep in just a little!

What Anonymous Said!

I laugh because if you read the comments to my blog below you can read what Anonymous said and it is true. I have been distracted lately. I think about that often. My friend Michelle told me that my blogs do not have to always be deep and meaningful if you blog often. So the pressure doesn't need to be there to make it "book" worthy (because I'm writing a book I feel like everything I write must be placed in my book)! If that were the case, really, no one would have enough time or energy to read anything I have written.

I must confess to whomever Anonymous is that it is not only FB, it is Skype as well. Recently we got connected (ironically through FB) to close friends of ours who live in the Philippines. Bruce and Jane were some of the closest friends we had when we were married and in college. We went through the birth of all three of their beautiful daughters with them and went through some of the most difficult times with them as well. We have been out of contact for 12 years only to have found each other last week. So to say I have been distracted, it would be a true confession and for that I am sorry, but for the richness in my relationships (and having a webcam is amazing)...well, if you know me relationships mean so very much to me!

So I'm here and I'm about to write another post...when it rains...it pours!

A Few Words on Prayer

One of my favorite quotes recently is the following:

"If you pray and you believe God will answer, then it works, I know, I have done this all week!" Brendan Engel my almost 8-year old son! We have spent the last two months reading and savoring this book! If you haven't read it you must! George Muller is certainly one of the heroes of my faith!
Last week we had the stomach flu in this house. I prayed that the Lord would spare me. It started on a Saturday night and it lasted 9 days. I was the last to experience the worst of it! My soon to be 6 year old prayed diligently for me to "not get sick" and I believed...just like George Muller (sorry no more details today...run and get that book)! When Shane woke up on Saturday morning to see me on the floor of my bathroom, he literally fell to his face! I asked him what was wrong, because that is sad posture! He said he was sad because "God didn't answer my prayers!"

Let me preface this with the fact that I felt wonderful the day before, and we both rejoiced all day long about how God answered prayer! So for him to see me sick was devastating (not to mention that every day he woke up someone else was sick...poor guy!) I sat him on my bed and told him this..."Shane, God did indeed answer your prayer, and He did it in two ways! First, he spared Mommy for so long so that I could easily care for my family (all three kids, a 91-year old grandfather and a husband), and for that I am grateful. Secondly, he created my body so uniquely that when something is inside of it that is making it sick...my body forces it out...and I am not sick anymore! So He is healing me as we speak! Is that awesome? I love God for being so awesome!" Shane did feel better after this conversation. We spoke about the different type of answers to prayer, like yes, no, wait! Ahhh...the lessons we learn!

Prayer is the natural thing in my home...and my boys see it all the time! I remember being pregnant with Shane, my twins were not even 2 yet, we all gathered in my kitchen and Mike and the boys laid hands on my womb and prayed for our baby Shane that God would spare his life. I have seen the power of prayer first hand many many times!

So Brendan, last night, prays his prayer and explains again the key is believing. Kyle prays beautifully, in his special way! Then Shane prays...it is so precious...I really wish you could be a fly on the wall! There little hearts are full of serious stuff that is unique to them. After everyone has prayed including me, I sang a few songs and I was about to leave and this is what comes out of Brendan:

"Mom, I'm kind of in the mood for ham, I think I will just pray for a piece of ham to appear right on my bed. Do you think that will happen?" "Brendan really? Do you think that would happen?" "If I pray for it...God can do it!" "Yes, He CAN do anything, but He WILL do His will. He doesn't do magic tricks for you, He has provided food for us before, but He is most likely not going to make ham appear on your bed right now because you have a hankering for some pork babe!" I knew he meant what he said...I used to pray that I would wake up skinny...I never did..because what would I gain from that! He is in the business of doing what is best for me. I told Brendan this same thing. "I think I will pray anyway Mom!" A few minutes after his prayer everyone laid silent until Kyle piped in from the top bunk bed..."Well, Brendan, do you got any ham?"

I can just see my Jesus slapping Himself on the knee and roaring with laughter! I love that my kids are learning about prayer and believing God and not just in God! I couldn't imagine a life without Jesus.

I will confess here at the end, because if you stuck with reading this blog to the end then you deserve one more chuckle....I secretly waited all day for some form of pork to appear at our door. None came, but yet I will rejoice!

Let The Count Down Begin!

Soon it will be birthday week here in the Engel home. With Kyle & Brendan's birthday on the 12th and Shane's on the 16th! The official count down began on the 2nd of June. Why? Because as my almost 8 year old said..."You always count down from 10 Mom!" 10...9...8...7... Yes, 9 more days and my twins will be 8. Oh my goodness! I always get choked up! I promise not to go into all of the drama of my pregnancy and birth. (do a search for infertility tags and you can read more details if you like). For any new readers, I was a fertility patient for 10 years...Kyle & Brendan were the first out of 14 babies that survived an almost full term pregnancy....and I almost died giving birth...4 days in and out of a coma...10 days in the hospital...raising twins every since! There, that is all the drama in a nutshell!

Ok, now for the fun! I figured since most of my family and friends who read this blog already know my story I would just put a few pictures in to journal the beginning of this journey! Since pictures paint a thousand words...well then...that is a whole lot less typing for me!

The picture above was designed and constructed by a woman in my life who prophetically spoke into my life directly regarding my pregnancy and birth of my children. She purchased my two cribs before I was even through my first trimester because the Lord clearly spoke to her at a Christmas Eve service. It was "touch and go" for these babies, and to hear her say the Lord told her to purchase two cribs was sweet news to my heart! Then while I was on continued bed rest..she called again and said she was showering and the Lord clearly showed her a phrase that she knew to be mine for this pregnancy. "To God be the glory, great things He hath done!" A song that I sang in my heart for many years on my fertility journey! She and her husband were over my apartment designing and decorating!

Here are my boys 8 weeks three days! What a familiar, but wonderful sight! I had ultrasounds done every two weeks in the beginning and every week during my second trimester and twice a week in my third. I have way too many ultrasound pictures I can't count!
Here they are again around 5 months! A new and glorious sight to be seen!

The picture below was taken at about 5 months as well!

Seriously, I looked about 12 months here! Yup 5 months! You should have seen me at 8 when I gave birth! HA!
Ahh...home at last! Two babies...7lbs each! I chose not to show hospital pictures..you know me getting 8 blood transfusions...just not pleasant to look at! That would be Brendan with his mouth opened...I am pretty sure if I looked now it would still be opened!
I want to give a shout out to whomever invented the pacifier or Binky as we called it!

"I LOVE YOU!" I love these two pictures! I have thousands...as you can imagine...these were among my top thousand favorites!
This following picture was taken when they were approximately 3 months old...my first day out of the house...I had a car accident! However, my friend Janet Cox and I still decided to brave the mall! I love this picture because there is my Kyle comforting his brother Brendan. He used to do this a lot. Ironically enough, when Brendan and Kyle were in Kindergarten, Brendan hated the cafeteria (hated school in general) and the staff would allow Kyle to go give Brendan a hug every day even though they were not in the same class..because it made Brendan feel better! Awwwe!
My boys and their fascination with baskets! Perhaps it began here! They were such happy babies! Possibly because the had the happiest parents in the world!
You cannot read the letter I wrote to them on this collage, but it is the first of 7 I have written. Every year I write a new letter to each of my boys and give it to them in a very special book. (This first year they got books too, but there is never any room to write in those books that are touch and feel friendly for one year olds!) On this poster are pictures of their first year of life...along with little nick names and memories! Very special! To end this post I will write the letter I wrote below!
Dear Kyle and Brendan,
Happy 1st Birthday! Mommy & Daddy love you so much! You are our precious priceless treasures from God! We have had the most amazing year with the two of you in our lives. Nothing could have prepared us for the joy you have brought to us! May you grow in God! We pray that the next year brings more smiles, giggles, hugs & kisses, but more importantly we pray that as you develop and mature you learn that you are loved so very deeply by Mommy and Daddy, but most of all by the Author of love Himself...Jesus! Love Always, Mommy & Daddy June 12, 2002