Finding Joy in the Journey

Just one of the things I saw on our hike down Stone Mountain. See how distractingly beautiful that can be!

This morning I laid it down again. My journey. Not my battle, but my journey. According to Webster, a journey is a traveling from one place to another, usually taking a rather long time; passage or progress from one stage to another. We are ALL on a journey of some sort. Just coming home from my latest vacation it made me reflect on the fact that when we're on a journey we must be ready to accept the fact that we may find ourselves encountering things that may slow down our traveling. For example, we may hit traffic, detours, road construction (someone else in your party may get really sick)...all of which will slow us down. We may just be tired and need to pull over, or we may get distracted by all the things we can see and do on our trip. We may just be totally enjoying ourselves and the life that this journey has taken us and we've gotten out and pitched a tent for awhile. Now, when we do that....it makes sense that "traveling from one place to another" will take longer. Just a fact.

That's what has happened with my journey. I've gotten out, pitched a tent and have truly been enjoying all the things that life has shown me for the past 4 months or so (I've gotten a little distracted). Don't get me wrong...there have been some storms, and that can totally do a number on the tent. So, I'm just confessing today that I've put my tent back into the car, I'm not going to be discouraged about the time loss (or the weight gain), I know this is a journey...but its time to get back on the road. Time to set my eyes straight on my goal. No looking back, just forward. Its a new day. I'm not going to beat myself up for the pause in my journey...I haven't given up.

That is where you can find the joy in the journey. I'm still on the journey, I'm not in a race...but I know there is a goal to meet...and I'm not lost...I've just pitched a tent for awhile...but I'm back in the car..ready to do this!

How about you? Where have you been on your journey? Are you discouraged because you are not where you thought you should be by now? OK, so when we begin to feel discouraged - take an inventory, perhaps its time to pick up your tent and move on. Get back on track. Just don't sit there and be miserable and beat yourself up, reach up for the Lord's outstretched hand, He will pick you up (all the while He is smiling...He's not condemning you know)...HE LOVES you!! He's always thrilled when we reach out to Him. I've said I'm in the car and ready to go...but I didn't say I was the one driving. I know myself, I get WAY too distracted. I see a pretty mountain, or an interesting historical landmark and I can't help myself. This is why we need to let Him do the driving. So here you go Lord, I'm giving you the keys. I know you love me, I know that there may even be times when I beg you for the chance to drive and you may even let me...I get it. I'm just glad I'm doing it with YOU...and I'm not alone! Here WE go!

Friends, EnJOY your journey!

I've Stopped Calling It A Battle

About 4 years ago, my doctor told me I probably would not be able see my children graduate high school if I continue down the road I was on. Truth! I was a walking stroke just waiting to happen. My cholesterol was 383, my triglyceride levels were 830 (I am not kidding..I have the blood work paper still here). My blood pressure never knew numbers below 140/90 and at times it was much higher. I was well over 80 lbs overweight and I couldn't hardly walk a mile. It is so hard to see me like this, but just to give you a peek into my past...this was me about 5 years ago.

 

Unfortunately, when you have a real weight problem, you have a tendency to see yourself like this..no matter what the mirror shows. I talked about that in last week's post. I've struggled with my weight my whole life. In 2009 I joined Weight Watchers. (I hate admitting this..but this is why I'm writing this). I decided that I really really needed to live, for my children, I needed to honor God with my health, I wanted to teach my children to ride their bikes. 

This was me 9 months after joining Weight Watchers. (I should mention I got off all 8 of my medications...NO diabetes, NO high blood pressure, NO high cholesterol, NO high triglycerides and I ran my first 5K during this year too...yes..that would be 3.1 miles) This was my lowest weight in years. I am not at my goal here. I was only 27 pounds away from my goal. So close. I started to feel confident, a little relaxed because..."I WAS GOING TO DO THIS!!" It was so close, I could...taste it. (poor choice of words, but it works). Oh I haven't gained all the weight back, but I did gain 18 lbs since 2009 to 2012. I am now 36 lbs. away from my goal today. How did this happen to me?

I am serious about personal reflection and I ask the Lord to search me too. Psalm 139 is powerful, the whole chapter. Sometimes I sit and read it back to God during my time with Him.  "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Here is what I've learned. I have said all along that "I have battled this weight loss thing for years.", "This is an ongoing battle!" "I'll probably have to battle this forever." "Every day is a new battle..faced with choices..food/exercise..." 

Even typing the word battle makes me feel worn out. It's true. Just say it. Oh come on..no one is listening. The term battle comes with a sense of heaviness. (and quite frankly who needs more heaviness..especially with a weight loss issue!..lol!) Think about a battle. Do we look forward to the battle? Probably not. You might feel strong at the beginning of the "battle" like "I AM GOING TO DO THIS!", but then you get weary because a battle wears you out - sometimes it feels like it is taking FOREVER! Eventually you may not even look forward to doing battle. You get out of bed and think...where is that white flag!?!

Well, I've stopped calling it a battle! It's not about winning anymore for me. It's not about defeating the old enemy called food or fat! 

I'm calling it a journey. This is my weight loss journey. Now say it with me...journey. Doesn't it kind of sound a little exciting? Like anticipating an...dare I say...adventure! Yes, it makes me feel invigorated, excited and hopeful. It's a journey. A journey, as my blog defines (go and peek over at the margin to your right) is a traveling from one place to another, usually taking a rather long time. This makes me smile. For me losing weight is a journey. I now look forward to getting up and starting each day. Guess what, its no surprise that it is taking a "rather long time." Oh but my perspective and attitude have changed. I'm excited. It's an adventure. Where once I dreaded going and meeting with my Weight Watchers friends (and it wasn't always like that by the way) and even the scale, now I see it as...hmmm...exciting.

Oddly enough since I've begun training for my 10K, (I only have two more weeks left) I haven't lost more than 1 pound a week and many weeks I've lost less than that. In fact two weeks ago, I gained a pound. (Jaw dropping to the ground!) I've been working my muscles hard...and they are getting stronger and harder and working to help my body burn even better. I'm writing this because I started to get discouraged, until last week in my reflection time I realized, I'm not in a battle, I'm on a journey...and then I found it exciting and positive again!

So this is me last month. Ten pounds from reaching my lowest weight on this particular journey. I am still off all medications (except thyroid..I don't have a thyroid..so I need one little pill a day forever.) Not only can I run a 5K and shave 5 minutes off my best time (I have one coming up in 3 weeks), but I can now run for 45 minutes....without stopping! Eight weeks ago I could only run 8 minutes and had to catch my breath. I'm still 37 pounds overweight, but I'm healthier now than ever and...I'm on a journey!

Finally, will my journey ever end? Will I get to that place where I am free to be me? The answers are NO and YES. This particular journey will never end. However, there will be challenges and rewards and different scenery...it will always be exciting! I will always have to be conscious of what I eat, and always do my best to make good choices. That is, if I want to enjoy a life of good health. So no, I will not be rewarding myself with a big old chocolate cake when I reach my goal weight! I can never do the things I use to do, or I will end up in the same place I use to be.  However, I will arrive at that place where I'm free to be me. The new me. The me I've been conditioning and training myself to be. The me that really enjoys a strawberry banana smoothie! I'm expecting by the time I've reached my goal weight, I will have changed in some other areas besides my size. My lifestyle will have changed...there is freedom in that. I'm not saying that I will NEVER SLIP UP...I'm saying I am going to do everything to remind myself that this is not a battle & I don't have to GIVE UP (find the white flag or throw in the towel)...because after all...its a journey!

Looking Back At My Footprints

New Smyrna Beach Sunrise - greets me every Monday!

No surprises here. I've been consistently training 3 days a week for a 10K now for 8 weeks. No I've not signed up for one yet. I've completed two 5Ks and am signed up for another next month, and felt like it was time to push myself a little farther. So 6.2 miles it is. I'm also still trying to lose weight. Lifelong journey.

I'm presently up to 4.89 miles of running (with a 5 minute brisk walking warm up and cool down)....45 minutes of actual running/jogging. Eight weeks ago, I could barely even do 5 minutes of running. So the consistency and conditioning is really working. I love to run.

There is something that happens after the first 15 minutes...you get into your groove..and then there is no stopping you. You feel...amazing! Actually, I feel amazing right now.

Sadly, when you have a weight issue, it is hard to see the differences in your body. Easier sometimes to feel the differences. That is where I am. A few days ago I was running in my neighborhood and I happened to catch a glimpse of my shadow. I just about died. No seriously. I wanted to stop running, sit down on someone lawn and cry. I looked at that shadow and said to myself..."you do not deserve to be running." (I know lies..all lies!) Literally struggled with the fact that even though I felt awesome and was actually doing it...and doing it well, I still had too much weight to lose and someone my size should not be out there running 5 miles a day.

Riverside Drive run in the rain....dedication!

My sweet friend and marathon runner Peggy goes to my church and happens to be married to my physician. She has been giving me books to read, articles and advice now for months. She has become my running coach. Giving me advice on the sport as well as the diet specific for runners. I talked with her about my discouraged image that I saw in that shadow. She of course set me straight. The muscle that I'm building is apparently making my weight loss slow down a bit. My husband says..."Strong IS the new skinny!" He couldn't be more proud of me right now...and remember I feel 100%.

So as I ran on the beach this morning (with my new running shoes), I looked at my footprints. I'm not entirely sure why I did that. I did notice however, that it really slowed me down. Stop looking back Lisa! Stop looking at the warped image of a girl who has struggled with weight her entire life. Look forward and the run will go faster, smoother and better! I don't want to even look to the side where I will see my shadow. Just keep my head straight and my body lined up and my feet going forward all the time. I building muscle. I building a life of discipline, a healthy lifestyle for my sons! I honoring God with my body and how I'm doing my best to care for it. I'm not perfect at it. I still have 30 extra pounds that I carry with me every single time I run. (Probably should say that I've lost almost 50 with Weight Watchers so far...still going!) I eat healthy, I exercise, I feel wonderful...but I have that baggage. I don't want to take drops, pills or shakes. I want to live a lifetime with the food that God has provided for me. Will I reach my goal. YES!

I will do it in God's time. Let everything else...it will be the best time...He is preparing me for a lifetime journey. This will not end 30 pounds from now...this will be my life. Might as well enjoy the journey and stop looking back at my footprints!

It's A New Day

I am forever going to be learning. Actually, I do believe that we will indeed continue to learn even when we enter into our eternal life in Heaven. I just love that thought!

Homeschooling has been amazing! I didn't say easy, I said, amazing! I love having all three of my boys home with me. The memories we are making, the strides that those boys are making and the friendships that they share are indeed a treasure! You could never put a price tag on those things!

I started a new ministry called Bagels & Blessings. Yes, it is a new ministry at Edgewater Alliance Church, even though some reading my blog will know it was a ministry that was birthed originally at Wyckoff Assembly of God! I am grateful for the influences and mentors in my life that have walked alongside of me and directed my path in the way of Jesus.

Last month was the kick off for our first gathering...117 women signed up to come! It actually snowed in Florida that day and still 99 women showed up for this event! Praise God. I had an overwhelming response after B&B that I anticipate even more coming in February. God has been moving in my spirit and I finally feel like I am walking in the gifts that God has given me. I told my close friends that I felt like I have been pregnant for 6 years and last month I finally gave birth. (Now that feels great!)

I have to say, I have an amazing group of ladies on my B&B team. WOW! The hearts of every woman on my team...I am humbled to be working alongside of each of them!

My husband is still not working. He was laid off about 3 months ago and has applied for numerous positions and to no avail. However, I can say without a shadow of a doubt, we finally passed this particular test. TRUST & OBEY! It may look like insanity to the world, but to us, it is exactly what God has called us to do...trust Him and continue to obey! I can say, living on unemployment is not easy, but we have food on our table in and joy in our home!! Thank you Lord!

Big news, I hope that you are sitting down...for as long as I can remember, I have been on medication. Blood pressure medication, 2 pills for high cholesterol, 2 pills for diabetes and a thyroid medication. Seriously, I had almost as many pills as our Grandfather and he will be 92 in a few weeks. Well, now after being on Weight Watchers for a year....I am officially off of all medications. I will however, always be on a medication for my thyroid, because I don't have one. But, hey this is huge! NO MEDS! I am praying that this will continue, as some of my issues can totally be genetic, I'm hoping that most were due to being overweight! I continue to run/walk about 4 miles a day at least 4 days a week. I'm 40 something and I'm getting younger every day!

Finally, one more victory in my life. Remember that blog I wrote on spiritual warfare in the summer. I continue to see the Hand of God move on my behalf! Praise God! He has fought the battle for me, just like He said He would! HE IS!!

So, it is a new year and indeed a new day!

Menu For The Week

My friend Michelle has a blog that is devoted to the kitchen. On Monday's she is posting her menu for the week to inspire new recipes and money/time management skills as well! I'm very proud of her. Since joining Weight Watchers making a menu is almost imperative. I need to know what I'm having for dinner so I can plan the rest of my day carefully. As you can see by my last blog...it works for weight loss too!

So I'm joining her and including my "Monday's Menu". Don't get all hung up on the fact that today is Tuesday...I will be on the ball next week! Or maybe not...and that is where all of my blog friends extend some grace!

Just a couple of disclaimers:

1. I am on Weight Watchers but when my husband has class two nights a week there are weeks I just don't feel like feeding the birds (children and grandfather) in my home...making a whole meal for each of them to eat a spoonful! So there are those weeks (like this one) that I make something for them and I eat something "point worthy"! So bear that in mind!! What I eat (except for Saturday, that is my splurge day), is very heart healthy and Weight Watcher friendly. I hope this blesses anyone wanting to eat healthy!!

2. My husband is unemployed so other than our little tiny unemployment check...we don't have an income at this time. SO, my menu has to reflect our budget. Thus you will notice...a recurring word: leftovers! All I have to say is....get to love them ok!!


Monday: Garlic Roasted Chicken with red potatoes, carrots and garlic (it is one dish that goes in the oven and I use skinless split chicken breasts) I serve it with broccoli (my kids favorite veggie). It is a family winner (we don't always have winners in this house) :) 4 points for 4 oz of chicken and for 3/4 cup of potatoes and carrots with roasted garlic 3 points --- 7 point meal!

Tuesday: (Husband has school) Famous Homemade Baked Macaroni and Cheese (NOT Weight Watcher friendly...9 points per 1/2 cup) (I ate leftover from yesterday....children and Pop ate this and LOVED it!) Another family winner!!

Wednesday: Spinach, Rice & Black Bean Burritos 8 points for a whole burrito!! BIG SERVING-- you could totally eat half a burrito with some salad and have it be less points!

Thursday: (Husband has school) Leftover Baked Macaroni & Cheese for family (left over burrito for me)

Friday: Pork Chop & Potatoes with Creamy Gravy - 6 points (recipe to follow) - This is a new recipe, I will let you know how it is next week. It sounded good!


Pork Chops & Potatoes In Creamy Gravy
Found in: American Heart Association One-Dish Meals
6 WW points
Serves 4 (1 pork chop & 1 1/4 cups veggie mixture)

4 lean pork chops with bone in (about 5 oz. each)
Paprika to taste
Pepper to taste
Veggie oil spray
2 cups fat-free, low sodium chicken broth
1 lb. red potatoes cut into wedges
2 medium onions, thinly sliced
2 medium carrots, thinly sliced
1/4 tsp. dried tarragon, crumbled
1/2 cup fat-free evaporated milk
2 tbsp. all-purpose flour
3/4 tsp. salt
4 oz jar sliced pimientos

Sprinkle one side of the pork chops with paprika and pepper.

Heat a large skillet over high heat. Remove the skillet from the heat and lightly spray with vegetable oil spray. Cook the pork chops with the seasoned side down for 1 minute. Remove from the skillet.

In the same skillet, stir together the broth, potatoes, onions, carrots, and tarragon. Bring to boil. Top with the pork chops with the seasoned side up. Reduce the heat and simmer, covered, for 12 minutes, or until the pork is no longer pink in the center and the potatoes are tender.

Using a large slotted spoon, transfer the veggies to a serving platter with a rim or to a large shallow bowl. Top with the pork. Cover with aluminium foil to keep warm. Set aside.

Increase the heat to high. Bring the broth to a boil. Boil for 2 minutes, or until reduced to 1 cup.

Reduce the heat to medium. Whisk in the evaporated milk and flour until well blended. Stir in the salt. (You can scrape the skillet with a flat spatula...you know to get the yumminess on the bottom) Cook for 2 minutes.

Stir in the pimientos (You could totally leave this out if you were not a pimiento fan)! Pour over the vegetables on the serving platter and voila! Sounds like comfort food to me!!

This was fun!!

Before & After

Well, it is confession time! I have hesitated to put up a before and after shot of my weight loss journey so far. I think perhaps because looking at it makes me feel a little queasy! However, in order for my family in NJ to see me, this is a necessary step. So.....

Here I am before joining Weight Watchers back in January of 2009:

Now after 9 months I have lost 54.8 lbs:

What the pictures do not show is that I feel amazing and am healthier than I have been in years. I have been on blood pressure medication since my days of infertility at least 12 years now, and presently my doctor says I need to be off this medication (as well as other medications)! 2010 will be the year that I meet my goal (35 more pounds) and I become a Weight Watcher's Leader! 2010 will also be the year I get off all my medications. 2010 will be the year I run my first 10K! I have a lot to look forward to!

I DID IT!

My first 5K ever! Started training way back in May for this event! The New Bridge of Lions 5K Run in St. Augustine Florida. It was amazing! I was very excited leading up to the night before. When I picked up my packet, I started feeling intimidated. Here were the questions (and some of the lies) streaming through my head..."What was I thinking?" "Seriously, these people are in so much better shape....who am I to do this?"...I even asked my husband if he would be disappointed if I didn't go through with it! He said this "I would never be disappointed, but I know you will be and I know you can do this NO PROBLEM!" Well, I shed a few tears the night before, but got my buttocks out there bright and early the next morning. Here are a few pics! (The picture above is me in front of the Castillo De San Marcos National Monument in the oldest city in the United States of America, St. Augustine Florida) The above picture is all that needs to be packed for an overnighter without children! Seriously...that is all that Mike & I packed!

Me the morning of my race!

Me thinking Mike was on his way to the finish line! I was sweating already and hadn't even started running yet! Twenty minutes before I'm to begin and I just said a word of thanks to the Lord for taking me this far on my journey to lose weight!

The new (temporary) Bridge of Lions!

The starting line! Approximately 500 people out to support the Louis Argitis Foundation for Challenged Children! How exciting!

I was dripping with sweat! But knew I didn't have much further to go! I am proud that I ran the entire first mile and a little of the second...then I power walked through most of the second mile...but that last mile...I ran!

With my eye on goal...

I sprinted the last 1/4 mile through the finish line! That felt amazing!

I am so red! Sun burn and seriously hot! It was 89 degrees with 95% humidity! I don't usually run when the sun is up and shining so strongly! The Florida sun is a killer! I think that is why I didn't beat my 38 minutes because I had to slow it down to get a drink at the second mile marker! (I never had to do that while practicing)! No big deal I am just glad I did it! Those are not two threes in this picture -- I'm holding up two "Ws" for Weight Watchers. Six months ago I was 40 lbs heavier and unmotivated to exercise! Today I ran a 5K in 4o minutes! Thank You Lord!

How To Keep Cool & Stick To Your Diet at Disney

We had a wonderful day in the Magic Kingdom for the twins birthday. They got the royal treatment! It was a Friday and it was 95 degrees. Why is it important that I share those two details? Well, I weigh in at Weight Watchers on Saturdays and it was ridiculously hot outside (hence the title of this blog!). I didn't want to register a gain on the scale the next day so I had to be very careful not to splurge in the land of milk & honey!

Here we are on the boat to the magic Kingdom, after our pep talk about going slow and keeping cool!

So the recipe to keeping cool in the dead of summer at Disney goes like this:

ride Splash Mountain (get soaked) then ride Thunder Mountain (get dried), then repeat 4 times. Splash Mountain, Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain....Great Fun! (By the way, just a plug for Disney. If you have a child with special needs, they give you a pass to get on everything without the wait! Thank you Disney for blessing us!) Then Kyle discovered this: A fountain in front of the First Aid Station. Yes we ended up in the First Aid. Shane sliced the skin right off of his finger and it wouldn't stop bleeding. Fun!

The other way to stay cool is to go into all of the air conditioned attractions. Here are my boys preparing to get their permit to carry a weapon!

And here we are purchasing hats...the gifts shops are freezing cold!

Then of course there is always this:

This is not Weight Watcher friendly, so I set out to find something cool and refreshing and free (free as in the value of points on Weight Watchers). Where there is a will...there is a way!

Chilled (packed in Ice) Sour Dill Pickles...YUMMO! I love pickles and yes they are free on Weight Watchers and only $ .95...so we purchased a few for the road! This little stand in Liberty Square sells fresh fruit, veggies and ice cold pickles!

So there we are above...staking our spot for the fire works and evening light show...soaking wet from, you guessed it Splash Mountain! We had a wonderful magical day. My kids were amazing, we were there for 12 hours straight! We just love Disney. We miss having our Annual Passes, but we enjoy it every time we go!

Kyle and Brendan both agreed: This was the best birthday EVER!