My Gracious Gift From God (Repost)

In honor of my boy's double digit birthday...He is 10 years old today! I'm reposting  this blog to share the story of his incredible miraculous birth! I wrote this 4 years ago...he still keeps me on my toes..and is one amazing kid that loves big, Happy Birthday Sweet Shane!
Shane...that is what his name means..gracious gift from God. Today we celebrate the miracle of his conception, birth and life! Six years ago I went to my doctor on June 16th only 4 days after my twins turned two. This is what transpired that morning. I went in for my twice a week ultrasound to see this baby that my doctor was convinced would be born with challenges regarding his abdomen or liver. On the ultrasound we saw this very large baby with an abdominal area twice the size of a normal baby at 36 weeks.

I had already been hospitalized three times due to fetal distress and dangerously low amniotic fluid. My doctor had already had the discussion with me that Shane may not make it...I was told that we would have the best neo-natal unit ready to sweep him away and care for him right after my delivery. My doctor was one of the best in the state, but he found himself consulting with doctors in NY and CA he said..."it is one for the books."

Back to the morning of June 16th. I went in and told my doctor that I had had one of my weird dreams about him and my delivery (typical pregnant dream) it had something to do with Martha Stewart too...she was in my dream...odd huh? Anyway, we all got a good laugh about it, then my doctor says these words...I will never ever forget them. "Funny that you say you dreamt about me. I had a dream last night too, and I have never in my memory ever had a dream...ever!" He just explained that he had never dreamt before ever! Wow! However, on June 15th he dreamt about a patient with a very large womb...he was examining her, when he suddenly saw this bright blinding light coming from the uterus. He looked over at his nurse and said "Do you see that bright light?...amazing." She leaned forward to look and she said with a gasp..."OH look there is an angel in there!!". He immediately woke up, shook his wife awake and said "I have to deliver Lisa Engel today!" He had already made the arrangements for the Operating Room and I was set to deliver at 8:00pm. I remember saying..."WHAT? Because of a dream!" He reiterated that he had never dreamt before and he said "when I heard the nurse say that there was an angel in the uterus...I immediately knew that I must deliver your baby today!" A month early! He said that if Shane stayed in one more month he was likely to be around 15 lbs at the rate his abdomen was growing...the ultrasound showed a very large, very disfigured baby in a lower amount of amniotic fluid. It just made sense to him, and I was a peace! So it was set! We would all meet Shane at 9:00ish! Meanwhile, I call our freind and "adopted" grandma Carole and these were her words..."Well, I've been praying for Shane and I believe that was the Lord in your womb, healing that baby!" Little did she know how prophetic that really was!

This same doctor delivered my twins and was there when I almost died. He gave his team and amazing pep talk, looked over at Mike and I and said...it is in God's hands. (This man was not saved as far as we know, but we loved him and still do very much!). The operating room was crowed, more than with the twins, with NICU people and everyone was anxiously waiting to care for this little "gift from God"!

He removes Shane and I remember hearing my doctor almost cry in astonishment, "Do you see this? Do you SEE THIS? LOOK AT HIM!!?? I can't believe it!!....LOOK AT HIM!!" I remember crying thinking..."what in the world does he see!!" He started to laugh and came around the curtain and told me Shane is so beautiful, he told Mike to see for himself...he was 10lbs, a little jaundice and had an enlarged liver, but not anything...NOTHING..like what we saw that morning!! (We all believe that the Lord was in my womb healing Shane in that dream that my doctor had!) NICU could leave...Shane would spend some time under the lights, but by 11:00pm I was holding my newborn, beautiful, gracious gift from God! In my memory, it was my first time holding a newborn. (remember my last post...I was in and out of a coma when they gave me my twins..I have pictures, but no memories of holding them as newborns!)

I always say that Shane was my bow on the most amazing gifts I could ever hold! My journey to become a Mommy was such a long one. Ten years of taking my temperature, getting shots, giving blood, having surgery and losing 14 babies along the way, then to get pregnant with twins almost losing them two or three times, strict bed rest for 6 months and then almost dying after giving birth. I never thought I would get pregnant let alone have a fairly decent pregnancy. I was totally surprised when I saw the plus sign on the pregnancy test (with the twins...I always expected a plus sign...being a fertility patient will do that to you!) I got to show off my belly when I was pregnant with Shane (less bed rest with him), I got to purchase an outfit for him...I couldn't do that for my twins (bed rest!)...so all the things that didn't happen or I couldn't do while pregnant with K&B I was able to experience with Shane...gracious gift from God!

So here he is! Six years old today! Such a special blessing to add to my quiver!

And here he is in 2013! My coffee loving, presidential expert, with a big heart who someday with ROCK this world! (He's already rocking mine!!) I love you more than rainbows Shane!!

The Lord has given him a very sensitive heart for people. He loves people...just like his Mama! He has a magnetic personality and I believe the Lord will use him in a mighty way to influence other to receive Jesus! Thank you Lord for this week in June. The week that I will always celebrate like Hannah did, that perseverance did more than culminate in three miracles for me, but it built my character, faith and trust in a God whose timing is perfect and who cares what happens in the "waiting" time as well as in the answer to my prayer! Much happened to me in that time of waiting on the Lord. He changed me for eternity, then he gave me these gifts that bring me joy unspeakable! Thank you Lord for loving me they way you do!

Love is...

My children will tell you that we may not have much, but we are rich in love, faith, friendship and family. The rest of the posts for February will show just that. The Lord is faithful to sustain us, actually often times bless us...at the end of this post I will continue with my 1000 Gifts. Here is how we do Valentine's Day. It's a day to reflect on how much we love each other and we make an extra effort to practice loving in special ways for each other. Shane made those very special cookies while his brothers were at church on Monday night. He couldn't wait to surprise them.

We had an opportunity to share a beautiful day at the park with all of our homeschool friends.
Finally, Mike and I really don't have the opportunity to do much by ourselves, and that is ok for this season. (Although I must confess, I miss him!) This season as we care for Pop I know is a time that we are enduring so that the Lord can work something out in us...and His Grace really is sufficient...I'm learning...that is for sure! Anyway, I digress, I want to close our little Love blog with the all familiar verse from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-13

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

We may not have much, but we've got this down pretty good...I've got a man who loves and shows how to love every day. For that we are more than blessed.

Continuing my 1000 Gifts:

Thank you Lord for:

155. Your Perfect Love.

156. A husband that knows how to love, be loved, and freely demonstrate love.

157. Provision - time and again, even though we hand our last bit of money with our tithe, or we make a meal for someone else when we have no food for ourselves, YOU ALWAYS provide!!

158. Your Grace...that really is sufficient!

159. The freedom to do what isn't necessarily the easy thing to do, homeschooling is a sacrifice, but one I know I walk in obedience to You for this time in our lives.

160. Opportunities to sit back and enjoy each other - just snuggle bugglin' with my boys!

161. My full and beautiful quiver.

162. Healing in my body and spirit.

163. New friendships.

164. The memories of my Mom and Dad when I get to feeling like I want to be a daughter and not just the Mom, Wife, and Caregiver.

165. Your very real presence early in the morning when we spend time together.

166. The opportunity to minister your Love to women and to see some come to a saving knowledge of you! I never ever tire of that!

167. Opportunities for my children to see my faith worked out. When I cry out to you, and you answer me from your Word, my children see that and I'm trusting that is where they will go when they cry out to you too!

168. Duplication. I've been blessed to witness some women in my life whom You've called me to place under my wing and disciple. Praise you Lord for the constant encouragement they are to me of your faithfulness in their lives!

My Story - My Rescuer!

Someone suggested I write my story online. I have journals, many journals that I have written for my children about my testimony and my story of infertility. I have had the opportunity to speak to several churches and women's groups about various parts of my testimony throughout the past 18 years. If my story can bless and minister to anyone I pray that it does.

I love Beth Moore. I am presently doing her Daniel Study and it is amazing. One thing she said in her study was that we can share things without having to give all the gory details and it will, more effectively, give Glory to God. People can actually see the goodness of God when they don't have to sift through all of the horror. That is how I want to share my story - without the details of all of the "horror". I am thankful for my testimony. I am thankful for my Rescuer. I am still in awe of His amazing grace.

So, with that in mind I wrote a poem giving Glory to the Lord for rescuing this little girl whose life was anything but easy. Inside the words of this poem is the story of a little girl who in many ways was alone, abused and abandoned, frightened and downcast. But then God rescued me, placed me in the palm of His hand as a 7 year old child and never ever let me go!

He Rescued Me
By Lisa Engel

As a little girl life was anything but a breeze.
With my very first breath man became bitter with me.
A murderous intruder, a mistake a tragedy,
But He took one look, saw His child and rescued me.

With great capacity to love came a greater need to receive the same.
Though love can come in many ways, never should it bring fear or shame.
Man may try to twist it and turn it and never give it freely
But he opened up His arms, ready to give and to receive and rescued me.

What He did upon that tree
Showed me love unconditionally.
He died that I might live
And live abundantly.
He came into this world,
His sole purpose to rescue me.

I have lived and loved so deeply, but not without great cost,
For many whom I’ve poured out my love are the same that I have lost.
Many times I wanted to run and hide and never again to breathe,
But, He breathed in me the breath of life and rescued me.

Never leaving me lonely,
Yet truly setting me free!
In Him I move and live and breathe,
Because He rescued me.