Two Down & One To Go

Yawn......I am so tired. Yes...Two parties down, one to go! We celebrated the 7th birthday of Kyle & Brendan on June 12th and it was wonderful and intimate - just the six of us (includes Pop) and Meme came over too. As you can see this is my Birthday Brownie Dessert and we lit 15 candles (you do the math - Oh Shane has to blow out a candle too).

Here are my little goof ball guys!
Here they are celebrating on the trampoline - with the water spraying under them. What dangerous fun!
Here is Saturday's Big Birthday party! This cake was awesome (thank you Publix) Three Power Rangers -- I won the award for cool Mom on Saturday!
With 35 of our closest friends and family.........I love this picture with the puffed cheeks!
Much fun was had by all....kids and parents! We were wet and on a sugar rush....what more could you want!
So, now we have one more to go.....Shane's 5th birthday....stay tuned for the Birthday Brownie Dessert and Shane's special day!

Thanks to all of our friends and loved one's who made this day so special! XXX OOO!!!

Submission

Ooooooh.....controversial title huh? Hmmmmmm? Actually, it hit me today while we celebrated my twins birthday (and I went out and purchased a Father's Day card for my husband) that I am very grateful for clear instruction in the Bible! Let me quote this time and not paraphrase: Ephesians 5:22-23 "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body; of which He is the Savior." I encourage you to look in your Bible at the rest through verse 27. I am not going to preach a sermon here, I am simply going to give my own example and why today I feel blessed to have a husband, equally yoked, one who desires God's best for his family, and one who is the spiritual leader in my home.

I'm not sure why it is that we as wives feel we must assist the Holy Spirit sometimes. I admit, I do play that role in this marriage on occasion and my husband is kind enough to say so very lovingly, like when we are praying and he says "...and thank you Lord that you called Lisa to play the role of the Holy Spirit in my life....::wink::wink::". I think it is because we as women are multi-taskers and we think through with such great detail all aspects of every circumstance in our lives! Hello, can I get a witness here?

The truth is, I am so glad that I have the umbrella of my husband in my life. He is here to protect me, to help me and to cover me. He knows sometimes, what is best, even when I don't see it! Fortunately, I learned that early in my marriage. I was reminded today that 4 months into my pregnancy with my twins I had a terrible experience with my obstetrician. The man had me in fear and in tears. Friends had their opinions, and possible solutions, but I was confused and emotional. I didn't want to be with this doctor, but at the same time I was terrified to find another doctor at this stage in my pregnancy. I had already lost 14 babies, had almost lost this one too and I had very high risk pregnancy! I finally decided after praying and crying that I would submit to the decision of my husband. Whatever he decided I would do. The decision was too difficult for me! After I relinquished that control to the spiritual leader in my home, I felt immediate peace! My twins are here today because of all the details the Lord played out in our lives at that time.

There was one other decision that I relinquished control of to my husband and honestly, I'm not sure that it was the absolute right decision, but I have no doubt that I was to submit to it and it still gave me much peace knowing I was under his umbrella. Everything didn't turn out exactly the way I would have planned, in fact some relationships have never been the same because of this decision, but my marriage is in tact (18 years of marriage mind you) and my husband made the decision he prayed about and fasted about and felt right about. Today, I still must say that I am thankful for that peace that comes in knowing that the Lord gave me a Godly husband in whom I can trust with my life!

As a side note here, you could ask my husband (whom I've been bugging to blog) and he would tell you that we make most every decision together, prayerfully and thoughtfully, and together! He respects me as much as I respect him and that is why this works. He respects that I hear from God too and so we talk things through almost every single time. It is in those rare and challenging times for me, that I sometimes (not all the time) just feel like my peace would come when I submit and release control to him! God directs and I follow! Same with Mike!

So in light of Father's Day coming up and my boys' birthday mingled in there too, I am grateful for the gift of a Godly husband and clear instruction in the Word of God.

1000 Gifts continued......(from previous post) I am grateful for....

51. Clear instructions in the Word of God

52. A Godly husband and my very best friend!

53. The freedom in submitting! ahhhh....

54. Seven years filled with hugs and kisses from boys I never thought I would ever hold! Thank you Jesus for the miracles named Kyle, Brendan and Shane! (getting choked up now)

55. Dr. Aldo Khoury and his amazing staff (Sharon you are still a blessing to me) ;)

56. The journey of infertility that caused me to grow so close to Jesus that I could hear the beat of the Father's heart! (I wouldn't change it for the world)

57. The testimony of God's amazing grace that He so graciously lavishes upon us!

58. That we are never left alone to flounder, that He is Emmanuel - and that never changes!!

59. That I am still His daughter (I forget that sometimes when I'm so busy being a wife and Mommy!) and He feels towards me what I feel towards my own children - even more! (tears flowing now....)

60. For my earthly Father who loved me very much and because of his unconditional love my leap to Father God was as natural as breathing! (ok totally getting wet now - I miss my Daddy)

Birthday, Birthday, Birthday

We just celebrated Graduation, Graduation, Graduation and now we are looking at Birthday, Birthday, Birthday. Yes, all of my boys were born the same week. Kyle and Brendan will be 7 on June 12th and Shane will be 5 on June 16th. So we are looking at a very special weekend for them. It is a huge undertaking, but it is literally only once a year and birthday's are done. The challenge is not enough space for ALL of their friends -- don't worry we are still having 20 of their closest. Now a new challenge is they are really liking different things. If I let them pick a theme this year (like what the cake will look like) I would have three very different wishes. Ummmmm...then how does a Mom make it as special as she possible can for each child? Hmmmm? I'll get back to ya on that when I've got it figured out!

So pray for this Mom this week, its always a bit emotional for me (in a good way), but now I've got myself this nasty upper respiratory ridiculousness going on! UGH! It's hard to plan and get excited when all you want to do is drink tea and stay in bed! Ce La Vi! Here is a little journey of my kids then and now, enjoy:

Twins in a tub!

Favorite past time then and now!Brotherly love?
My sweet baby A - Kyle

My beautiful baby B - Brendan

My surprise - Shane "Gracious Gift from God"

My Three Sons (Superheros)

1000 Gifts continued from previous post:

41. Hot tea on a sore throat! ahhhh!

42. The sound of silence.

43. A husband who loves spending his time with his wife and sons!

44. The time to study!

45. Technology - allowing us to talk when we don't have a voice!

46. Quality game time with my boys!

47. Popcorn, it makes every movie feel special (even if we've seen Jonah 4 million times)

48. My cat Mickey, who spots every lizard and bug before I do!

49. Candlelight - the ambience it provides with both fragrance and beauty!

50. Memories!

Christmas All Year 'Round!

Silent night, Holy night, All is calm, all is bright..... You know Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and.....Dashing through the snow on a one-horse open sleigh....Away in a manger no crib for a bed....Joy to the world...

Those are the bedtime songs that I sang last night. This is getting just a bit ridiculous. Add to that list, The Power of His Presence, Open the Eyes of My Heart, Jesus loves me, Jesus loves the little children, I Love You Lord. I think we were singing for an hour.

After I had led my three superheros in worship for about an hour, Brendan requested that Shane sing a Man of God song. I said (because I don't ever want to squelch the movement of the Holy Spirit in my children - and because it is summer break after all)"okay, one song Shane and it can't be a rock song, it has to be a soft worshipful song". Here is what was sung and I wrote it down very quickly:

By Shane Engel:
Oh Jesus, Man of God,
I Love you! Thank you for being in my heart!
Thank you for bringing joy to the world!
Oh Jesus, Man of God,
I Love you so much Jesus, you are holy!
Save us from the bad guys Jesus, Man of God!
Oh Jesus I love you!

Of course then you must know that Kyle (Monkey see, monkey do!) had to sing one too.

By Kyle Engel:
Thank you Jesus for living in my heart!
I happy I have you in my heart!
I know you really love Kyle,
Because your in my heart! (He kept sing that over and over)

Brendan said he didn't know how to sing really good like Shane (Shane really has a gift for music). So I reminded him that praise does not have to be done by singing! OH NO! We can praise Jesus many ways. We praise Him when we pray, when we give thanks, when we dance before Him, when we live our lives pleasing to Him. There are many ways. So Brendan proceeded to praise Jesus by praying a prayer of thanksgiving:

By Brendan Engel:
Thank you Jesus for this night, for the angels all around us, for letting us have so much fun today, for Daddy getting a job that fits him. Thank you for Mommy who sings to us at night, that you for not letting me get hurt or taken away when I jumped the fence, thank you for summer time.

Oh, treasured times! I love singing to my children and I love that now not only to they sing the songs with me, they are writing their own. WOW! I couldn't be more blessed right now. These are moments that we need as Moms that give us glimmers of hope for all the work we put in to raising our children in the Lord! We may still have to remind our kids to say please and thank you or to not stand on the furniture, but when it really boils down to it, do they have a heart after Jesus. In the quiet of the evening, when no one is playing, where are their thoughts? Are they on how much they are loved by a God who gave them life abundant? A Savior who dwells in their heart and is working on them daily!? Do they rest securely know they are surrounded by a host of angels put in charge over them!?

1000 Gifts Continued from previous post:

31. The song He puts in our hearts!

32. Ice cream cones - they are awesome!

33. A God who is so big yet so personal!

34. The joy of Christmas!

35. Having one car that is in good shape!

36. That when I am weak, HE is strong!

37. That we can praise Him many ways!

38. The summer schedule (open and relaxed)

39. The sun peeking up in the sky to greet me and my morning devotions.

40. His mercies that are new every morning!

God Provided a Ram

And so He did! He provided the ram for Abraham just at that moment when Abraham had his son Issac on the altar, ready to be sacrificed. Imagine the anguish. Imagine the suffering. Abraham trusted God and obeyed Him. Some trip up that mountain that must have been huh?

Well, my trip wasn't anything like that, but still we have been challenged to trust and obey. Ironically when I got saved at 7 years old I responded to an altar call after we sung the Hymn "Trust and Obey".

As you may or may not know, my husband has been unemployed for 6 months. He more than likely only had a few more weeks of unemployment left. He has been faithful to seek and post his resume for jobs since the week he was laid off. He has had a few interviews, some second interviews and really not much more than that. Being unemployed seems to be a growing epidemic here in the Edgewater, New Symrna Beach area.

We have been in prayer and we have been faithful to keep our vows to God about our finances. I am here to tell you today that He is faithful! He has been faithful the entire time. There is no way in the world, by the world's standards, we would have been able to survive financially these past 6 months on his little bit of unemployment. God has poured out His blessings, time and time again. I have said it before we have truly experienced the 5 loaves and 2 fish miracle. Jesus set out to speak to 5000 men and their families and told the disciples to go and gather some food for the masses. The disciples came back with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Not much food to feed 5 people let alone 5000. Jesus ask for simple obedience and He blessed the food and told his disciples to feed the 5000 plus people that where there. End of story, there were several baskets of bread and fish left over. He did a miracle that day and He has done a miracle (the same miracle) in my household these past few months.

Not only that, but then, in the final hour, my husband gets a phone call for a second interview with a local newspaper and he lands the job. In that final hour - God provided a Ram. Not only does he land the job, but it happens to meet every single detail that we have prayed. I'm talking, down to the dot! This is God!

I remember way back when my friend Tracy prayed for a house and she prayed very specifically, today she still lives in that house! The house that she and God designed! That is exactly what happened with this interview.

I love to pray specifically! God is all about the details! My prayer is now, Lord, help me to keep trusting and obeying no matter what. This circumstance may be resolved now, but there is another one tomorrow, that is guaranteed. I feel like my faith has been refined and I have been refined by the fire! Thank you Lord. Thank you for providing the ram, thank you for allowing me to walk through the fire and come out refined. Thank you for keeping me from bowing down to the idols of fear, doubt, unbelief, and discouragement. If it were not for your presence I would not have made it through unscathed.

1000 Gifts continued from previous post:

21. Answered prayer.

22. Provision from Jehovah Jireh.

23. Friends who believed with us and who are celebrating with us as well.

24. Longer days and shorter nights.

25. Hours and hours of pool time

26. Brendan's understanding to answered prayer "Mom, does Daddy's job fit him?" "Yes it really does Brendan", "WOW that is exactly what I prayed that God would give Dad a job that would fit him!!"

27. Simple faith, simple obedience.

28. Opportunities to play hide and seek (and not be found for 20 minutes - I'm good)

29. Bible study on Friday nights with the Bradley Family!

30. The smell of jasmine outside my bedroom window. Hmmmmm.

Graduation, Graduation, Graduation

My boys are growing up. Today we had our final graduation celebration for the 2007-2008 school year. Below is Kyle with Mrs. Marple - We LOVE Mrs. Marple. Kyle and she have a special bond, because he had "Marple" for 2 years in a row! She actually requested that Kyle and she be together again for his second time in Kindergarten. That meant so much to all of us! Thank you Mrs. Marple. Kyle calls her Marple - when asked why he doesn't call her Mrs. Marple he says - "Awwe no she is just Marple to me!!" - it's cuz they're buds!

Kyle makes faces all the time so Mrs. Marple wanted to do the same with him. She is going to miss her "friend" Kyle. By the way, Kyle got an award for Excellence in Math, and he got the award for Courtesy! That is my Kyle, always saying "Excuse me, can I have...." and he always remembers his "please and thank you" always!! Kyle will be going into 1st grade next year.
This is my Brendan! His first year of homeschooling. He has succeeded and progressed into the 2nd grade. Here he is with the president of our Homeschool Association F.A.I.T.H.
Here he is with his friends who he was with almost every Wednesday taking enrichment classes with them! Some of those boys will be in Cub Scouts next year.
Then here is my Shane. OK, so I cried a lot with this one. First of all we absolutely love Ms. Jeannie! She was Brendan's pre-K teacher too. Shane had a wonderful year at Meadowwood Preschool. We are so proud of him, he grew so much this past year. Shane will be going into Kindergarten next year and he will be homeschooled with Brendan.
1000 Gifts Continued from an earlier post.....

11. The power of prayer.

12. The Word of God which sustains me at all times.

13. Friends who love my children as their own.

14. The amazingly beautiful Florida ocean.

15. The smell of fresh cut lawn.

16. The ability to cry and laugh (sometimes at the same time) - the fact that the Lord created me to be an emotional being.

17. My Kyle who touches lives deeply without even knowing it!

18. Shane's dimples and eyelashes that you can spot anywhere!

19. Brendan's sensitive spirit and heart after God!

20. Flowers that can withstand the Florida sun.

The Gift List

Gratitude. At The Women of Faith Conference, one of the speakers said that this is a proven medical marvel - "When you are grateful, fear can not take place in your brain." It has to do with the way our brain is wired. But, who wired our brains to begin with - God! I think that is so cool! Gratitude and Fear cannot coexist! It just cannot happen!

My friend who blogs over at "Just Another Ordinary Miracle Today" has started adding to her blogs her 1000 Gift List. It's a list of 1000 things that we are grateful for - things that we may even take for granted. It was started by Ann Voskamp and she puts forth the challenge for us to take a look at what the Lord has so graciously lavished upon us. Perhaps if we took on this challenge of thinking about what we are grateful for and naming them one by one, we would have less time to complain and less time to fear. The Bible says "Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father above" so I want to start intentionally pondering the gifts that God has already given me in my 39+ years. Care to join me?

Here I go....
1000 Gifts:

1. The camp counselor that told me about Jesus and prayed with me at the young age of 7 to accept Jesus as my personal Savior.

2. The treasure of a man I have called my husband for the past 18 years.

3. The three superhero miracles that I tuck into bed every night.

4. The smell of coffee and that very first sip that makes me sooooo happy!

5. My Rescuer!

6. Snuggles and cuddles with my boys.

7. Modern medicine and the Divine Healer who grants the doctors wisdom.

8. Randy Alcorn, who challenges me to live with an eternal perspective! One of my favorite
authors!

9. Spiritual mentors (Mothers in the Lord) I have a few very close and dear ones!

10. Girlfriends. It is a necessity, and a true gift from God!

The 1st Grade Finale

I had a wonderful first year of homeschooling. I learned so much - oh but this is not about me is it? It's about Brendan and his first year of homeschooling. During his kindergarten experience (as we like to call it) he sat on my bed and said "Mom can we homeschool?" I remember asking him what that was and he said "You know, we learn math, science, and stuff at home". He really wanted me to be his teacher. I was so touched and seriously prayed about it before embarking on this grand adventure. Mid-way through our first year of homeschooling, after being a part of Enrichment Day (taking classes like Logic & Legos, Art and Music) with at least 40 other students, and also partaking in Homebase Homeschool Co-ops with like a whole different 40 students, he finally came to the conclusion that he did not invent homeschooling. He told me, "Mom I thought I invented homeschooling, but there are so many other kids doing it too!"

Well, here is our First Grade Finale!

To the left are some of the books I read to Brendan. These are called Read Alouds (becuase I read them aloud to him) - sometimes he read them to me, only because he is such a book hog! I think my favorite was Granny Han and Brendan's favorite was My Father's Dragon. We had lots of fun reading these books. (But we'll be reading them again when Shane is in 1st Grade!)

Then this is a picture of Brendan with all of the books he read to me. These are 2-4 grade reading level books. My favorite was The Sword and the Tree, his favorite were Pompei and Titanic (it was hard for him to narrow them down - he loved them all!)

Here he is with our Science, History, Math and Bible along with handwriting, art appreciation and Language Arts. We did two language arts programs a 1st grade for writing and creative expression and a 2nd grade for reading and spelling. In many ways I feel like I put my little "B" through freshman year at college - but he didn't complain at all!

This is an example of some of the projects he worked on through out the year - this is my way of getting ready for his portfolio evaluation.

In this picture is a book that he is writing entitled "The Last Astronaut", he started this book around Christmas and has been adding pictures and chapters a little bit each week or when he gets a cool thought for his book. Write down the title if you wish because someday it may be a best-seller!


This little picture is cute because for one of his assignments he had to write his name and come up with adjectives that describe him. I just smile when I see that! Oh and the Mind of a Boy is a compilation book of some of his writings.

This was our year! We worked hard and had fun! We did more field trips then I did in my entire school life just in his 1st grade experience! Later on all of the graduations! I have to go to bed!

Ahhhh.....As I stretch!

That is the sound I just made about 3 seconds ago! At 2:30pm, my best friend came by and picked up all of my children. Unplanned, unannounced and totally unexpected she drove up and whisked my children away! By 2:35pm I was under my covers on my way to dream land! I just woke up - literally a minute ago - 4:50pm. (I type fast!)

WOW! This like NEVER HAPPENS! (Well, very rarely does this happen - except with much planning and/or followed-up with a babysitting $5 per hour tip)! But the nap thing......well that just never happens! Can I just say, it feels wonderful! When I put my kids to bed I pray "that they wake up and feel refreshed and renewed" and Mike and I always pray the same thing for each other, but I really never feel refreshed and renewed. This is what I think that feels like! WOW!

Ok, I have to pick up my boys now! But I'm ready for the chaos, I'm prepared for the dinner battle, I'm excited and feel like I can leap tall buildings, go faster than a speeding bullet.....wait, that is so not me, that is my boys, but I'm ready for my superheros!

"Hey Lucy, I'm Home!"

In the words of Ricky Ricardo - "Hey Lucy - I'm Home!!"! Thanks to a dear friend I have my computer (and then some) back! For awhile there, I thought that my friend was in cahoots with the Lord and purposefully giving me a 6-week computer fast! But my friend and the Lord have been beyond gracious to me! My friend's wife (who is my friend as well) is a faithful blog reader and she was getting desperate for new material - so I'm not sure if the dripping faucet, I mean the beautiful voice of his wife didn't spur him on to bless us even more quickly! Either way if you are reading this "THANKS TO BOTH OF YOU!!"

Seriously, my head has been hurting because it is full of funny stories and bloggity blogs and I have been unable to have my quite time to get it all out! However, during my "computer fast", I did read 3 novels and am doing a Bible Study and that is completely separate from my devotions. My husband spotted me reading a book that I have read, oh about 4 times at least (it was over the holiday weekend and the library was closed!) and he expressed his concern! He was concerned because by the 2nd chapter of this book that I have read 4 times I was balling my eyes out! (I can here my Brendan saying "Mom - that's a hyperbole!") It is true, I think I was going insane!

Oh, the other big thing that happened besides two of my children graduating (one from Pre-K and one from 1st grade) I experienced my first concussion (at least that I can remember)! Oh that was a blast!

I was tucking my children in bed (3 boys in one small room - just imagine) - giving kisses to the one on the bottom bunk when "WHACK!!" the lights went out in my head! I am told that I passed out 3 times in my boys room only to awaken to my children crying and praying for their Mom who they thought died! Yes, Brendan soaked his pillow with his tears crying out to his Dad "Who is going to homeschool me now? I miss my Mom - I remember when....." I mean the kid was giving me my eulogy! Kyle & Shane were laying hands on me asking the Lord to heal me or raise me from the dead! Mike tells me that I only had a memory of 5 minutes and I kept asking him the same questions (as if it were my first time asking him) over and over and over again, oh for about 20-30 times. I had no memory from 7:30pm to 11:00pm, and I refused to go to the hospital. I laugh now, because I can see my poor husband trying to explain to the boys why he was slapping Mommy in the face and that she was NOT DEAD! By the time I started realizing that I remember something different (about 11:00pm) my poor husband was white with fear and exhaustion!

Sorry to say we have no pictures of my concussion, mostly because I was the one who was out like a light and I'm the picture taker!

I have so many more stories to share! So stay tuned!

My Addiction

Hello, my name is Lisa. (everyone responds - Hi Lisa!!) I have been addicted to my computer for quite some time now. It is like drinking coffee, kissing my kids or doing my morning devotions - Seriously, I am going through withdrawl -- HELP!!!!!!!!

It is true - last week, while I was away, my computer took its last breath. My husband called to tell me - it is like an emergency you know. Of course, I cried (well, not really, but I wanted to vomit)! It is very difficult to get on without a computer! CAN I GET A WITNESS!?!

So, needless to say I will not be blogging until the Lord provides a way for me to have a computer in my own home. Going to a friend's house or our public library gets old pretty quick. The last thing I want to do is be on my friend's computer while I'm visiting, and have you ever tried to use the computers in the library while having 3 young children running amuck in the children's section. OH MY!

Please pray that the Lord is not trying to teach me something about my addiction and it is just that my computer was 6 years old and we live in the land of power outages so it was time to go! I will return, I've got lots of news stored up in my head and in my camera too! Keep checking in! Blessings to ya!

Granny Han & I

I love Granny Han! We met this week, and I have found a "sister of the heart" in Granny (Pauline) Han! If you have not met her, you must go to your library right away or click here and buy the book "Granny Han's Breakfast". Seriously, it is only 25 pages long but Brendan and I both agree that it was one of the best true stories we have ever read. It is about a Christian ambassador living in Taiwan. She lives day to day trusting in the Lord for her every need and the Lord comes through for every single need down to the smallest of details.

In light of what my family is living right now with husband being unemployed since January, I can totally relate to Granny Han's miracles. She even mentions the 5 loaves 2 fish miracle that I feel like we have been living as well. God has been so good to my family in provide for our every need, and the greatest thing is that it is not only increasing my faith, but my children's faith as well. Thank you Lord for good Godly examples of saints who went before us and thank you for being the same yesterday, today and forever! ~ Lisa

Stones of Rememberence

I don't have actual stones piled up to remind me of the things God has brought me through (like they did in the Old Testament), but I do have journals, and now blogs. Yesterday was one of those days I needed to pull out this article that I wrote over a year ago click here to read it. I needed to be reminded of what is really important.

Yesterday, Brendan received his first trophy. He was the only one to receive it, it was the Zippity Zoink Champ Trophy. What? You ask. Each Monday during AWANAS (Bible Club much like Royal Rangers, but with more emphasis on scripture memory) Brendan came prepared for club with several verses memorized. I think we added them up and there were about 63 verses total that he memorized this past year. Anyway, each Monday if you are prepared before club begins you get a Zippity Zoink. Brendan got the most Zippity Zoinks last year. I was so proud, he was so honored. His face was just beaming. Kyle and Shane and I were sitting in the seats as we watched him get his award. I looked over at Kyle and saw the tears. My heart just sank. Let me just preface this by saying while we were still at church Kyle did tell Brendan "I can't say Congrats word, so I'll say Good Job Brendan!" and they did hug. Kyle has the hardest time with understanding that everyone gets different things for different reasons. Just like he gets treasure box stuff from school that Shane and Brendan don't get, they get will sometimes get things that he doesn't get. It is painful, but it is fair.

So yesterday, he sat and compared himself again to his twin brother. (This is a relatively new thing for Kyle, he never used to see the differences and now he does). "I don't have a best friend, I don't have a ribbon, I don't have an award, I don't have any dates with friends cuz I don't have any friends, I'm not smart like Brendan....." I reminded him that he chose to stay home from AWANAS because he was tired and he got to play games with Dad and Mom and brothers didn't get a chance to do that. It was true, he tried AWANAS, but Kyle has to be on the bus at 6:54am and he really needs his sleep, so activities that require a lot of memorization and are at night are not his forte. He really struggles. He had fun at home on Monday nights. (OH and before I forget, Kyle did get a goodie bag with candy and a certificate in it!)

This just breaks my heart because he really doesn't understand. Those of you with multiples understand that it is a hard balance. I was told when they were first born, "OH you don't need two swings, or two exersaucers, just have them take turns" yea hello, step into my world for just a moment please". Well, it doesn't get much easier when they get older, the only saving grace was that Kyle didn't get it! Until recently. He has been in kindergarten for 2 years, the boy has never been invited to a birthday party from school. Shane, is in pre-K, he had about 7 invites in a two week period. Kids come to the house and ask to play with Shane "the little guy", Brendan does have a best buddy or two. Kyle is the sweetest little boy, but he is immature in many ways and that is hard when you are a kid. He is a 6 year old in someways, and he is like a 3-4 year old in others. I always thought it just broke my heart, but now it is breaking his and I am in tears.

To make matters worse, he is now wanting to inflict pain upon himself and saying things like, "I just want to die and go up in Heaven", "I just want to punch myself in the throat and choke and die and be in Heaven now." (Where does he get this stuff?) He only really says this when he is really really upset (like last night), but this is very disturbing for those of us who love him. Brendan was in tears in the van last night! I want Brendan to feel good about his accomplishments, he should be proud of himself! I want Kyle to feel good about his accomplishments and be proud of himself too, without having to compare himself to his brother. I have an appointment with Kyle's Psychologist for next month, and I am continuing to stay on my face in prayer.

Brendan asked me last night "Why doesn't God just make Kyle's brain all better?" I reminded him (and myself) that sometimes the greater miracle isn't in the healing, it is in the living every day with the challenges that you have. We do not understand the mind of God, but we must trust that He is on His throne and He is still in control. Kyle is a beautiful boy with a great capacity to love and enjoy life! If you get a chance, read "EngleLand" it gives you a glimpse into our little section of the world! Thank you Lord, for the love between my boys. Thank you that they are "Best Friends"! Thank you that they are each so individual and that you are Lord of their lives. Thanks for hearing my heart this morning! ~Lisa

Happy Mother's Day

Here is a little glimpse into Mother's Day Week with the Engel family.

On Thursday, Shane had a special Mother's Day Tea at his school. We danced, we heard a great story and we had tea and cookies. Then, Shane took me out to eat. He told the waitress, "This is my special date with Mommy, so I'm paying OK!" She was obviously very green with envy as she handed the check to Shane and said "You know I'm available for dates too!" Shane went and paid the bill and we went shopping. It was a wonderful, memorable time!

Brendan went to "Fire It Up" with some homeschool friends and made me a beautiful coffee mug! I totally love it!! He knows me so well!

Kyle planted seeds and made me a very cute flower pot with actual flowers growing up "Look Mom it's growing up just like me!" - Thanks for the flowers and the tears Kyle! Love it!Today Kyle and Shane made cute wind chimes in Sunday School (sorry no picture)!
As is our tradition, we invite Mike's Mom to have Mother's Day dinner with us. It gives us all time to spend with her, after all, we are thankful for "Meme" if it wasn't for her we wouldn't have Daddy! If we didn't have Daddy, we wouldn't have 3 amazing boys! Mike made us Mahi Mahi with Mango salsa and some kind of little black beans and jasmine rice! OH MY GOSH! He is the best cook EVER!!!
I had a wonderful, relaxing day with my family and I couldn't be more thankful. If you'd like to see my other blog about Mother's Day feel free and click here. It will be up tomorrow morning.

Don't Say Good-bye!

I have really lost it! This was my first year homeschooling and it has been one of the most rewarding times of my life. Not only have I learned so much, I have met so many wonderful homeschooling Moms and Brendan and I have had just an amazing time bonding and building our relationship. It has been incredible!

Today I read the last page of a book we have read all year long. A book entitled "The Llama Who Had No Pajama" it is a book of poems. Every week we read about 3 poems from this book and today's poem had me in tears. No, it wasn't sad, but the moment was sad. We are 2 weeks away from finishing our school year. We have used a very rich literature based curriculum and have read so many wonderful books that we are just sad to see it end. (My order for next year comes on Friday so I'll get my fix of new books soon). Next year I will be homeschooling, Brendan and Shane and then who knows Kyle may be next. For those of you reading this, I'm not neglecting Kyle, I'm just concentrating on his needs right now and how they will best be addressed. Right now, he needs absolute structure and he loves school! I'm pretty sure he is going to have an amazing teacher next year too! So we are not worried about 1st grade for Kyle.

In many ways, I feel like Brendan attended University this year. I used to teach high school, so this teaching 1st grade thing took some getting used to! Fortunately, Brendan is like a college student in many ways, so he was very patient with my learning curve! It is going to be a blast with Shane home next year, because he will bring a whole other dynamic to the mix. It will have to be more "fun" for Shane. Plus, its kindergarten. So, Brendan and I have already talked about what we might do differently next year to include Shane and we are so excited! I'm sure I will be posting more about the end of the school year stuff later, but for now as I bid my books good-bye for a season, now allow me the opportunity to give you a glimpse into our adventure:

Books I Read to Brendan:
The Apple & The Arrow, The Boxcar Children, Capyboppy, Dolphin Adventure, Dolphin Treasure, The Llama Who Had No Pajama, The Family Under The Bridge, Five True Dog Stories, A Grain of Rice, The House at Pooh Corner, The Hundred Dresses, In Grandma's Attic, James Herriot's Treasury for Children, Johnny Appleseed, The Light at Turn Rock, Mary On Horseback, My Father's Dragon, Richard Scarry's Please and Thank You Book, The Story about Ping, The Story of Doctor Doolittle, Twenty and Ten, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

Books Brendan Read to Me:
The Beginner's Bible (twice), Surprises, Pompeii...Buried Alive, Owl at Home, Frog and Toad Are Friends, Mouse Tales, Greg's Microscope, Hill of Fire, Frog and Toad All Year, Daniel's Duck, Amelia Bedelia, Nate The Great, Frog and Toad Together, The Big Balloon Race, The Fire Cat, The Sword and the Tree (he kept me thirsting for more every day), Wagon Wheels, The Titanic: Lost...And Found

Plus some amazing History Books like: Granny Han's Breakfast, Hero Tales, Living Long Ago and Wild Places.

When I read the list of books to Brendan that we had read, he just sat there and sighed at each one! Wonderful memories!

So to bid my books good-by here was our last poem:

"Good Morning When It's Morning"
Good morning when it's morning
Good night when it is night
Good evening when it's dark out
Good day when it is light
Good morning to the sunshine
Good evening to the sky
And when it's time to go away
Good-by
Good-by
Good-by.

Just Don't Blink

Growing up we are always told that life goes by so quickly! I never believed it when I was a child because as I sat in school, the year seemed to drag; and as I played all summer, sometimes it never seemed to end! Now as I'm a year shy of 40, I see what all of my elders were talking about! I feel like I just blinked my eyes and my children grew up! Below is a picture of my niece's First Holy Communion. I sat in that church and remembered being in that same seat for her Christening. Seriously, I just felt like it was a blink of an eye!

My mother-in-law has beautiful grandchildren huh?

About this picture below. Well, I have to say, when it comes to parties and cake, my children are professionals. We went to a birthday party the day after my niece's party and the Grandma of the boy called all the children in from the park. She gave the loudest whistle and said it was time for cake and my three children were the first in their seats and ready to partake! Yes, below is a picture of my son Shane showing his expertise in the art of eating cake.

(Picture taken at Holly's Communion party!)

This picture just reminds me of me when I was little! Always ready to smile for the camera! Brendan really looks a lot like his Mommy in this picture I think.

Giving God The Glory

I am infinitely aware that every good and perfect gift is from above! I am truly living a miracle today and I need to give God the glory. Mike has been without work since January yet we are living the 5 loaves and 2 fish miracle in this house! He has taken care of our every need plus added some amazing blessings beyond what we could hope or imagine.

When you really and truly lay your circumstance down on the altar (like Abraham laid his son Isaac on the altar) God takes control and supplies what you need to continue in obedience to His will. It is true.

Thank you Lord for being so close and speaking so clearly. Thank you that we can relax in the knowledge that the One who controls our lives is totally trustworthy. Thank you Lord that we can come to you with confident expectation! There is nothing we need that you cannot provide.

Oh, I Forgot I Had Twins

Warning!! I am going to ramble today! I started searching for blogs about parents with twins. Don't ask me why? My twins are going to be 7 years old this June and it dawned on me that I often "forget" that I have twins. Maybe it is because I have Shane, my 3rd son, and so since he was born I was no long a Mom of twins, but a Mom of 3. Plus the fact that all of my boys are very different.

With Kyle, my Baby "A", he is such an individual and with his "disability" or what we like to call "issues" he is just so much his own little man. In fact, Kyle and Shane often make us feel like we have two sets of twins. Kyle and Brendan (who share the same birthday) and Kyle and Shane who are much more alike developmentally. It is crazy!

Then there is Brendan, my Baby "B", he is way tall (up to my armpits tall) for a 6 year old. He will tell you that "people always think I'm 8 or 9 years old" and it is true! He reads on a 4-5th grade level and he is often times very serious. (not all of the time) :)

Then there is Shane, my Surprise Baby, he is so different from his brothers it is crazy. He is very physical and he is my "ham"!

Now that I wrote all of this I feel so much better! I have these three amazing boys, so unique, so different, but so much brothers!! They love each other (most of the time), they really are each other's best friends, and now that my kids are getting older (and I don't use my twin stroller), people see me with three boys and think they're triplets. I really don't ever feel like I have twins anymore. I have 3 boys. I remember feeling so special (and so tired) because having two babies at once was different than having one at a time. It was kind of a unique situation, with unique circumstances and unique challenges. (None of which phased me at all because that is all I ever knew, until I had Shane and then I had two 2 year olds and a newborn -- and that was my undoing).
Oh, I guess there is one time a year when I feel like I have twins (or triplets for that matter) and that is the week of June 12th. With all three birthday the same week, we have one birthday party for all three boys. That is a weird thing. Will they ever know what it is like to have their "own" birthday? Hmmmm.....I'll have to work on that.