My Hero Is Super!

 "Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!" Well, ok...not exactly. However, I do refer to him as Mr. Incredible...and there are numerous reasons why. I know, you probably think your husband is the best, and I hope you do, but today August 5th is my husband's birthday..and I'm taking this opportunity to share why he is one of my most treasured gift from God. Forgive me while I indulge.

He may not be more powerful than a locomotive, but he can calm a crying baby and actually loves to do it. He is one of the most self sacrificing people on the planet. This man has, on numerous occasions, taken care of other people's children as well as our own, so that I can go an help a friend, or have a meeting with others whose husbands work (his contribution to women's ministry). He has cooked more meals than I can count for people who are sick (I may volunteer...but he is in the kitchen). I love to hang with people, he does too, but when we do...he's the one in the kitchen. Actually he always does the cooking all the time. ♥

Here he is cleaning his sister's refrigerator that had stopped running while she was away on vacation. This took hours and he had to clean it out..maggots and all. That has to be love.

After giving birth to my twins, I spent 4 days in and out of a coma...he was on it..feedings, diaper changes, up all hours...sacrificing, my children are 11 & 9...and he still on it! Faster than a speeding bullet, maybe not, but you chase after 3 kids under 2 years old.

He's is one of the most present father's I know. He earned that accolade because for several years, he was home..unemployed or taking care of his grandfather and being a dad...24 hours a day. Allowing me to go on retreats, meetings and conferences. Making sure I got some alone time...he still does that.

Leap tall buildings in a single bound...maybe not, but he certainly has built his share of tall buildings with mega blocks and legos.

 He has played the sick patient for a couple of quack doctors.

He prays with his children every single night and often during the day too. He has modeled what it is to be a man after God's own heart to his three sons. He is teaching them every day how to be a father and a husband, how to pray, how to love, how to live.

Unashamed, he has faced hardships like none other. Ridicule and harsh words thrown in his direction by people he loves...yet he continues to love.  He has struggled to find work, yet has supported his family. He has worked part time while going to school full time.  Pretty powerful in my book.

 He (with me) has taken several young girls to concerts...helping make some of their dreams come true. There he is with his niece above, and below some other friends.

Again...just look at that guy. Who couldn't love that face...the two headed pushme-pullyou!

OH and of course...my personal hero when it comes to capturing all things creepy. There he is disposing of a rat snake. 

So I've bragged on his cooking, he cleans and does laundry too (please don't ask what I do). He also makes costumes. His creation of the Lenni Lanape Indians above and of course our most recent Star Wars escapade...that's all Mike. I'm not that creative.

He is my rock when it comes to emergencies. This is when Shane busted his head on the corner of our counter. My man, Mr. Incredible, calmly holds the child, puts us all in the car and drives us to the emergency room. Calm as a cucumber.

Love this man! Speaking of calm. I know I don't have to repeat it, but for 4 years he was the sole caregiver of his grandfather. Pop, suffered from Alzheimers/Dementia. When he finally went into a facility, the nurse told my husband that he had gone...way above the call of duty and that Pop really needed a full staff of professionals for that last two years at least.

 My husband lovingly, sacrificially, tirelessly cared for him until the end.

OH and yes...he is that Dad and Husband who really couldn't see getting a puppy, but just because he loved us and really couldn't see his family be disappointed...he said yes...to Dodger! He totally went up in the ranks for all of us that day!

At 45 years old...he goes back to school. Trying to begin a career, finding out what "God has put on his heart to do", he goes back to school for nursing. He graduates at the top of his class in 3 more days at 47 years old. Nursing school full time, work part time, father and husband full time, head elder of our church for the past 6 years. Lost his mother and grandfather...his family hurt him deeply...yet he loves on. We are so profoundly proud of him (next post I'm sure).

So, Mr. Incredible...we may not look up in the sky to find him flying like a plane or a bird, but I certainly look up to him. My three sons, look up to him. I'm so incredibly blessed to call him my husband and best friend for the past 22 years. He's mine and I love him. One of the most treasured gifts that the Lord has blessed me with. So, Happy Birthday Mr. Incredible..my man who is indeed smarter than anyone I know, more patient that a rock, and able to make my heart leap miles high by just one look or a simple kiss! My protector, (who has watched me get so deeply hurt in the past few years and has been my rock of wisdom) my umbrella, my coffee buddy, my sounding board, my best friend, my hero -  I love you Mike Engel!

The Apple of His Eye...Part III

With memories flooding my heart and mind and tears in our eyes I held his hands and look right into his eyes. It what we girls do isn't...we look right into people's eyes.

I asked about the letter. What did he think? Did he already pray the prayer? Did he want me to pray with him?

"I want you to be here when I pray!" --that is what he said! Probably the most precious words I could ever hear. Whether it is from my Dad, my children or a friend at the altar. Praying along side a person as they pray a prayer for salvation, assurance of Heaven, is just the about the greatest honor of all! The Bible says in Luke 15:7 "In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away!" I can tell you from first hand experience there is nothing quite like it!

I asked my Dad the questions. Did he understand? He wanted to pray, but was so shy. I prayed for him first, thanking God for bringing him to this place, asking the Lord to give him courage to take the next step. I remember being so empowered by the Holy Spirit as I prayed for my Dad. Then I held his hands tight and told him it was his turn. OH how we wept..right there on the hospital bed. We were a snotty mess, the two of us! All this time, alone, not one interruption. That was a divine appointment for sure! His prayer...I wish I could have bottled it up to save. I remember it being so simple, he mentioned Billy Graham in his prayer and told the Lord that he believed that He loved him just as he was. He invited the Lord to take residence in his life, asked him to forgive him of his sin, and thanked him for saving his life and thanked him for his daughter! I just embraced my Daddy and sobbed all over his hospital gown. We cried and we laughed.

Then it happened. Someone else came into the room. First a nurse. She asked if everything was alright? What was wrong? My Dad said, "This is my daughter, I have Jesus in my heart now!" He proceeded to tell every person that came into the room, that he now had Jesus!! (Confessed with his mouth!)

A few weeks later Dad was in a hospital in Philadelphia. It was there that the Doctor asked Pat (my step-mother) and I to talk with us privately. My Mike stayed behind to be with Dad. The doctor proceeded to tell us to get our things in order, Dad only really had 6 months to live. He can have some radiation, but chemo would not be helpful at this stage in his esophageal cancer. It would be a difficult ride! Pat decided it best not to tell Dad how long he was given to live. Wise choice knowing my Dad. However he knew he didn't have much time. While we were with the Doctor, my Dad sat my husband down and asked him to tell him about what Heaven was like! Mike sat with my Dad, bringing him the comfort of God's Word and prayer to take away any fear.
My Dad lived 9 months. Right when it started to get really really bad....the Lord mercifully took him home. March 12, 1996...my Dad got a new name in Heaven, a new body, got to meet Jesus face to face, and hopefully saw my mother! Knowing my Dad...he danced on streets of gold too...his special dance that only I got to see! (twinkle toes) :) What an amazing gift for this daughter! Blessed assurance that one day....I will be with him! OH how I miss him. I wonder what he would have thought about my boys? When I snuggle with my kids, I always think of my Dad - Shane would have loved snuggle buggling with him! Brendan...sometimes has a smell that reminds me of Norman! Kyle, well, he would love my Dad with his whole heart...like he does so well!

Dear Daddy, I know you can't read this. But, as I sit here with tears flowing down my face I want you to know that I'm so thankful I had a Daddy who loved me unconditionally. Because of you, I could totally accept the Lord as my Father! So many have a poor God image because of their past experiences. Not me, Daddy!

So many years have passed. When I visited your gravesite, I would talk with you. I know it sounds silly, but it made me feel good. Mike has been so good to me Dad! You would have been proud! I was able to teach 9 years in a High School in NJ. I gave birth to three amazing boys Dad! I think you would have loved them! They would totally have worn you out. But you know what, they just saw you on video a few months ago and they talk about you now! Brendan's head has the Norman Sine smell! lol! I lost 14 babies trying to get pregnant, I wonder if you know them? I know this sounds crazy, but when I lost my first child, I remember seeing (probably in a dream) him with you...smiling!

Honestly Dad, these past few years have been very difficult for me. I sometimes miss being someone's daughter, someone's little girl. But I have to say, God has totally and completely filled your void Dad...and He really is the perfect fit! As I'm sure you know! The Lord has also been with me during these most difficult years/months/days. He has done amazing, miraculous things for Mike and I...He really is taking such good care of us! I love you Daddy! I miss you like crazy...for some reason...a lot this year! I'm not sad, no worries! Yes, I'm crying like a baby, but you know...as my kids would put it..they're combo tears: tears of joy, sadness and just because I'm a woman! lol! I look forward to sitting at the marriage feast of the Lamb with you Dad....until then...I love you always...and forever in my heart! ♥

I think all the tears that have flowed while I wrote down these memories...have really be theraputic! If you've followed along, thank you for allowing me a place to be so private (so publicly). I hope you, in some way, if you've endured these past few posts, were blessed!

The Apple of His Eye..Part II

I handed him the letter and walked downstairs. I remember the feeling in my stomach as I sat among the people in the cafeteria. There was no way I could eat or drink anything. I sat and I prayed. I prayed that my Dad would finally make a decision for Christ. I prayed that the Lord would heal him of whatever was making him so ill. I prayed that the Lord would give me many more years with my Dad. I prayed God's ultimate will to be done...because I knew...that no matter what, God had what was best in store for my Dad.

Twenty minutes seemed like eternity to me...meanwhile upstairs...eternity was beginning to be set in motion for my Dad. Here is the letter that I wrote to him 15 years ago:

June 1, 1995

Dear Daddy,

Do you know how much I love you? I love you so much that when we begin to talk about it we both begin to cry--it never fails. I don’t honestly think anyone can love you like I do!! I want you to know that I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is in control. You realize, I hope, that it was God and God alone that saved you back in November, and once again I am trusting in God to save you again. I trust the Lord Jesus, Daddy, He has brought us through so much. Do you ever wonder how I turned out the way I did? You know, you and Pat were placed in my life by God to save me from a life of pain and suffering. Many people hear my life story and are amazed that I turned out the way I did. But I always tell people that when I was in 2nd grade, I was staying with my Dad and Pat and they sent me to Bible Camp (Camp Shadyrest) in the summer. I learned at camp that Jesus Christ died for my sins, and that all I had to do was to ask Jesus to come into my heart and forgive me of my sins and He would do just that. I learned that that was the only way I would get to heaven. So, I did Dad. I ask Jesus into my heart and He forgave me of my sins, and now I know I will spend eternal life with Jesus in heaven. If it wasn’t for you and Pat, I would not have done that then.

Daddy, that is the best feeling ya know! Knowing how much Jesus loves me and that someday I am going to go to heaven. Dad, I love you so much, I want you to have that same assurance. I know there is only one way to heaven - and that is just by asking Jesus to come into your life and to forgive you of your sins. Dad, I know you, you are a wonderful person. You’ve never done anything that you probably see as sin. But the fact is that we are all born in sin. The Bible says in Romans 3:23 “all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God.” That means that I was a sinner, even when I was 7 years old. That is why Jesus died. In John 3:16 the bible says “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him will have eternal life.” That is why God sent Jesus to this earth, so that He could die for us and for our sin and we would have a chance to go to heaven. One more verse -- Romans 6:23 “The wages of sin is death; but the GIFT of God is Eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” All you have to do is ASK, it is a free gift from God. He wants us to go to heaven, but He is so fair that he leaves us with the choice. I know you want someday to go to heaven Dad, and I am going to show you just how easy it is to do just that. It is not hard Dad, all it takes is asking. Jesus will help you live a life that is pleasing to Him. He already loves you so much Daddy! I’m sure you can see that. He saved your life, and now, as I am praying for you, I know He wants to save your life forever!!

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God?
2. Do I believe that Jesus Christ was sent by God to die for our sins, and that He in fact died on the cross and shed His blood for me?
3. Do I believe that I am a sinner?

If you can honestly say yes to those three questions than you can be saved Dad! You can be saved!! Just pray a simple prayer: it can go something like this:

Dear Lord, I know that I am a sinner and I know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. I also believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for me and my sin, just so that I can have eternal life. I want eternal life. Jesus, please come into my heart today just as I am, and take away all of my sin. I love you Jesus, and I thank you for saving my life!

It is that easy dad!

If you say this prayer or one similar and you really mean it, God will do what
He promises and give you Eternal Life in Heaven.

Dad, I wrote this to you, because I love you more than words could ever express, and I want to know that we will always, and I mean always be together eternally!

If after you read this letter, and you want to say that prayer let me know. I don’t need to be there to pray with you, but I would love to if you want. I would be more
than happy to see my daddy accept Jesus as his savior!!

Love always,

Me ♥

You know that song that you love so much, the one you hear when Billy Graham is on TV. That is just what I have been trying to say in this letter.

"Just as I am without one plea, but by thy blood was shed for me!"

When I returned to my Dad's room exactly 20 minutes later...I found my Daddy, the man who fought for me, who always made me feel like I was the most beautiful, most intelligent, most delighted in child in the universe...the man that loved me so much and never had a problem showing it...there he was sitting up in his bed with the letter in his hands and tears all over his face. Soaked with tears...he saw me...waved his hand at me to sit by him. I remember taking a tissue to his face to wipe away his tears and a memory had flooded me. (The memory of when I was 4 or 5 years old...as my Dad left my Mom, I did the exact same thing for her..took a tissue and wiped her tears. ) My parents were goodwilled people, but they were broken. It was an honor to be there for both of them, even though I'm sure, at the time, I had no idea what an honor it really was! Filled with emotion myself, neither one of us could talk for a moment. Then I asked about the letter.

Come back tomorrow for the conclusion.

The Apple of His Eye!

Would you like to take a walk down memory lane with me? I'm being very vulnerable here. In the next few days, I will post a blog related to a very bittersweet memory. If no one reads this, I understand, really, I'm writing it for two reasons: 1. So I can get it out of my mind when I sleep, and 2. So the memory can be preserved.

I wish I knew of a way to take VHS-C and put it on DVD so I can have what very little of my Dad's voice recorded in a safer place. For the first time in 15 years, I watched a video of my Dad. I remember the day I bought that camera, I bought it with the sole purpose of taping my Dad, so I could someday show my children who their Grandpa was - I got one 3 minute section of footage and that was all! But in it he tells me how much he loves me..those 3 minutes are locked in my heart forever. Next week it will be 15 years since my Dad's passing. My mother died when I was about 10 years old after my Father and his wife adopted me. My life story is complicated to say the least, but it is one where the Lord rescues a little girl, and well, it isn't finished yet. You can read my testimony in a poem I wrote here. This isn't about me, it is about my Dad. I think I'm gonna have to write a few blogs, I'm missing him more this year than I have in the past.

I was his only child, and the apple of his eye. He was a shy man and a brave man at the same time. He was a little stubborn too! I witnessed to that man my whole childhood and teenage life. His response to me was always..."I went up for salvation every week at the Salvation Army when I was little -- I don't need salvation anymore." It isn't about our timing is it? My Dad got very sick back in the early 90s, had a massive heart attack, got a pacemaker, and then he fought a battle with esophageal cancer in 1995-1996.

I'm pretty sure it is all about the Holy Spirit's timing...not about mine. So, I'm about to publish something that I've had tucked away on my computer since 1995 - mind you I was 27 when I wrote this...I haven't changed a thing...it is how it was the day I wrote it. I'll never forget that day, as long as I live.

Have you ever tried to read something, but your mind was distracted, so you have to read and read and read the same sentence over and over again? That was happening to me on June 1, 1995. I was having some quiet time and couldn't concentrate. So I sat at my computer and typed a letter. When I finished the letter I remember feeling a sense of relief, but urgency as well. So I got into my car that following Saturday morning, drove 2 hours south on the Parkway and Turnpike to the hospital where they were doing tests on my Dad. At this point in time, we did not know about the cancer, we knew he was sick and they were doing tests. I got to his room and he was so pleasantly surprised to see me. His face is etched in my heart and mind. I remember going into the room, Pat, his wife was not there..actually no one was there. I had some time to myself, to talk with him.

Instead of talking, I sat on his bed and put my head in his lap. Twenty seven years with my head resting on my Daddy...just for a few minutes. Even as I type right now..I'm having to remove my glasses because of the tears. I kind of miss being Daddy's little girl right now. Sometimes, during my quiet time, I imagine myself resting my head on Jesus' lap. Maybe that is because of this moment in my history.

After a few minutes of telling him about my students (I was a high school teacher at the time) and my plans to visit with him during the summer, I reached into my purse and pulled out this letter. I remember placing it into his weak hands. I handed him his glasses and gave him a kiss on the cheek, told him I was going down to the cafeteria for 20 minutes and we'll talk about the letter when I get back.

Stop back tomorrow as I publish the letter that I gave my Daddy to read.

Submission

Ooooooh.....controversial title huh? Hmmmmmm? Actually, it hit me today while we celebrated my twins birthday (and I went out and purchased a Father's Day card for my husband) that I am very grateful for clear instruction in the Bible! Let me quote this time and not paraphrase: Ephesians 5:22-23 "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body; of which He is the Savior." I encourage you to look in your Bible at the rest through verse 27. I am not going to preach a sermon here, I am simply going to give my own example and why today I feel blessed to have a husband, equally yoked, one who desires God's best for his family, and one who is the spiritual leader in my home.

I'm not sure why it is that we as wives feel we must assist the Holy Spirit sometimes. I admit, I do play that role in this marriage on occasion and my husband is kind enough to say so very lovingly, like when we are praying and he says "...and thank you Lord that you called Lisa to play the role of the Holy Spirit in my life....::wink::wink::". I think it is because we as women are multi-taskers and we think through with such great detail all aspects of every circumstance in our lives! Hello, can I get a witness here?

The truth is, I am so glad that I have the umbrella of my husband in my life. He is here to protect me, to help me and to cover me. He knows sometimes, what is best, even when I don't see it! Fortunately, I learned that early in my marriage. I was reminded today that 4 months into my pregnancy with my twins I had a terrible experience with my obstetrician. The man had me in fear and in tears. Friends had their opinions, and possible solutions, but I was confused and emotional. I didn't want to be with this doctor, but at the same time I was terrified to find another doctor at this stage in my pregnancy. I had already lost 14 babies, had almost lost this one too and I had very high risk pregnancy! I finally decided after praying and crying that I would submit to the decision of my husband. Whatever he decided I would do. The decision was too difficult for me! After I relinquished that control to the spiritual leader in my home, I felt immediate peace! My twins are here today because of all the details the Lord played out in our lives at that time.

There was one other decision that I relinquished control of to my husband and honestly, I'm not sure that it was the absolute right decision, but I have no doubt that I was to submit to it and it still gave me much peace knowing I was under his umbrella. Everything didn't turn out exactly the way I would have planned, in fact some relationships have never been the same because of this decision, but my marriage is in tact (18 years of marriage mind you) and my husband made the decision he prayed about and fasted about and felt right about. Today, I still must say that I am thankful for that peace that comes in knowing that the Lord gave me a Godly husband in whom I can trust with my life!

As a side note here, you could ask my husband (whom I've been bugging to blog) and he would tell you that we make most every decision together, prayerfully and thoughtfully, and together! He respects me as much as I respect him and that is why this works. He respects that I hear from God too and so we talk things through almost every single time. It is in those rare and challenging times for me, that I sometimes (not all the time) just feel like my peace would come when I submit and release control to him! God directs and I follow! Same with Mike!

So in light of Father's Day coming up and my boys' birthday mingled in there too, I am grateful for the gift of a Godly husband and clear instruction in the Word of God.

1000 Gifts continued......(from previous post) I am grateful for....

51. Clear instructions in the Word of God

52. A Godly husband and my very best friend!

53. The freedom in submitting! ahhhh....

54. Seven years filled with hugs and kisses from boys I never thought I would ever hold! Thank you Jesus for the miracles named Kyle, Brendan and Shane! (getting choked up now)

55. Dr. Aldo Khoury and his amazing staff (Sharon you are still a blessing to me) ;)

56. The journey of infertility that caused me to grow so close to Jesus that I could hear the beat of the Father's heart! (I wouldn't change it for the world)

57. The testimony of God's amazing grace that He so graciously lavishes upon us!

58. That we are never left alone to flounder, that He is Emmanuel - and that never changes!!

59. That I am still His daughter (I forget that sometimes when I'm so busy being a wife and Mommy!) and He feels towards me what I feel towards my own children - even more! (tears flowing now....)

60. For my earthly Father who loved me very much and because of his unconditional love my leap to Father God was as natural as breathing! (ok totally getting wet now - I miss my Daddy)